October 21, 2011 -- As most of you already know, our community recently lost one of its heroes - Paula Ettelbrick.  Paula was an attorney who devoted her legal skills and her unique talents to a cause larger than any one person - that of achieving full equality for members of the LGBTQ community.  Through her advocacy, her commitment and her leadership, our community is far closer to achieving that goal than many ever thought possible.    

Her work at some of our community's most influential organizations, and within the classroom, not only improved our lives but, as important, inspired others to join the movement.  

Beginning with her work as the first staff attorney for Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, and then continuing as its Legal Director, Paula helped Lambda Legal become one of the most important voices and legal advocates for the LGBT community in the country.  Her career also included, among other positions, leadership roles at the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission and recently with the Stonewall Community Foundation.  A profile of Paula and some of her accomplishments can be found in the latest issue of Gay City News and in countless tributes elsewhere that reflect the full measure of her legacy.

For now, LeGaL joins with Paula's friends, family and her extended family - the larger LGBTQ community - in mourning the loss.   

Below are a few personal reflections on her passing.  If you wish to add your own, we welcome you sending us a tribute at info@le-gal.org that we will post on our website along with others received.

- LeGaL Board of Directors 

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I had the pleasure of working with Paula Ettelbrick early in her career, when she was a new staff attorney at Lambda Legal and then went on to be the Legal Director.  I was a member of the Lambda board of directors and the legal advisory committee during that time.  The committee met with the staff attorneys to discuss new case requests and strategy on existing cases.  I was quickly impressed with Paula's abilities as a persuasive advocate for LGBT rights as exhibited in those meetings and in the terrific briefs she was writing.   

One of her most important cases back then was the Alison D. v. Virginia M. case, which ultimately went to the NY Court of Appeals on the question whether a same-sex co-parent had standing to seek visitation after her relationship with the child's biological mother had ended.  Shortly after Paula argued the case in the Appellate Division, we had our intramural moot court finals at New York Law School, and one of the final round judges was a member of the Appellate Division bench that had heard Paula's argument.  I was faculty advisor to the moot court and met with the judges in the robing room prior to the argument.  This Appellate Division judge knew me very well from bar association committee work together and she was well aware of my affiliation with Lambda.  As soon as she saw me, she said that Lambda was extremely lucky to have Paula representing it, because she had made one of the best oral arguments this judge had ever heard.   

And that was Paula, an impassioned, effective advocate -- even though ultimately the Court of Appeals ruled against Lambda's position.  Paula never gave up and kept working for that illusive goal of full legal rights for LGBT people.  Whatever difference we might have had on particular issues, whenever we met she was eager for a candid, friendly discussion.   

She will be missed, and the movement is much poorer for her loss.

- Professor Arthur Leonard, New York Law School; LeGaL Founder 

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I had the honor to have been a close friend of Paula's for more than 25 years. I first met her when I was co-chair of the board of Lambda Legal and Paula was hired as Lambda's first staff attorney.  

I will miss her wisdom, her warmth, her deep passion for justice and her wonderful sense of humor. The LGBT and progressive communities and movements have lost a true hero and one of our greatest advocates. For Paula, being honored by SAGE with the Joyce Warshow Lifetime Achievement Award meant a great deal.  While she will not be with us to accept this award, I am proud that we will honor her memory and her legacy so that her work will live on.

- Judith Turkel, Partner at Turkel Forman & de la Vega LLP  & Co-Chair of SAGE's Board of Directors (the award referenced above will be presented at Monday's SAGE Awards & Gala) 

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I knew Paula Ettelbrick as Professor Ettelbrick  - though my memory is that she much preferred we just call her Paula.  She was my Sexuality and the Law Professor at NYU at a time when I was still coming out.  It was the earliest morning class I ever took and recall that it began, improbably, at 7:30am. But I took the class because Paula was teaching it. 

Paula was an inspiring teacher, always amazingly candid and never enamored with the sound of her own voice - she cared far more about pushing her students to think critically than providing us the "answers." And it was always clear to us that she was skeptical of easy answers to begin with.  

But what I recall most is her kindness.  

After I had left a job at a law firm without much of a plan, I reached out for advice to folks that I admired - first among them Paula. My message to her, left on her voicemail, began with an apology of sorts, for sitting in the back of the class and for not being the most active participant. I babbled on that "you may not remember me but thought you might be willing to chat for a few minutes." 

Paula called me back that day. I remember that she began by saying, "Don't be silly, of course I remember you."  We talked about her own career path.  She asked tough questions about what I wanted out of my legal career. She referred to doors and promised that they remained open. She was reassuring; she was honest. 

We use words like pioneer, and leader, and visionary to describe people like Paula. These words fit. 

But I'll remember her most as a teacher and count myself among those who were made better by signing up for her early morning class and being rewarded with the privilege of her wisdom and an example of a life that mattered.   

- Brad Snyder, LeGaL Executive Director