Our parents and grandparents didn't have roadmaps for their relationships. How are things different now? 

First, let's look at how things were for many, many generations. For 99% of the time that humans have been on this planet, our relationships were based primarily on survival, and people gained a sense of safety and security by pairing up and being part of a group. For the last several hundred years, all around the world, young men and women were joined in marriages that were often arranged by their families. The goal was to make "good matches" that would lead to children, harmony in families and communities, while upholding the status quo where men and women had known roles and responsibilities.

Marriages were primarily business arrangements and if the couple actually enjoyed each other's company, that was an extra bonus. It's unlikely that your grandparents expected to achieve personal growth and expansion or to have deep emotional connections with their spouses. Your parents probably settled for situations that didn't inspire or empower them to be their best selves.

Just as there were clear roles for men and women at home, there were also clear expectations about roles and responsibilities at work. Men were in charge in the workplace, leadership came from the top, and workers were expected to maintain their proper place in the company's hierarchy. For most people, work was a means to an end, not a path to living their life purpose.

There was no need for a roadmap because there was basically only one road to go on! Now, in the 21^st century, there are countless roads, paths, options and possibilities for men and women at home and at work. For the last several decades, most singles have been able to take care of their basic needs without being coupled. Women are increasingly financially self-sufficient, and men are increasingly able to do their own laundry. Marriage is no longer a necessity and couples can choose to be together because they love and inspire each other. Work can be more than a paycheck, and there are more opportunities for career paths with meaningful contributions and connections with others.

Despite the myriad paths that are available to us, many people flounder when it comes to developing healthy, successful relationships. They may still be holding onto old beliefs and behaviors that make it difficult for them to break out of the rules and roles of the past. To navigate today's new terrain takes a new mindset that will allow us to build successful relationships, be our best selves and make wise choices that enhance our lives, partnerships, workplaces and communities. With a roadmap, we can easily find our way to relationships that sustain us in this changing landscape of our work and family terrains.