Humorist Dave Barry offers this bit of wisdom via Dan Herbert:

"You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, "Wow, You're right! I never would have thought of that!"

VISITING ROTARIANS

Akoni Viray - President, Acalanes High Interact Club

Jamie Kim - VP, Acalanes High Interact Club

Luis Alkon - Concord

GUESTS OF OTHER PERSUASIONS

Arturo Macias - Diplomat, gentleman, and friend of Ray Welles

Carol Yates - Supervisor Gayle Uilkema's assistant

EDITOR'S NOTE RE: PATTI WITALIS

Just a quick note from your communications staff to recognize our "all-too-infrequently-present" member, Patti Witalis.  As you all know, Ms. Witalis  is a beloved member of our crew that unfortunately is unable to make our weekly meetings.  Regardless of her extended absences, she did not miss a beat by responding to the morning crowd's greeting with the timeless phrase, "Hello boys!"  Although Coronado is slightly more beautiful and relaxing than Lafayette, your Rotary Club wants you here Patti!  

BIRTHDAYS, ANNIVERSARIES, AND OTHER MISCELLANEOUS GOODIES

Werner Schwarz has passed away.  For those of you of never met Werner, he was a wonderful Rotarian and quite a character, possessed of a wicked sense of humor and a love for helping.  He was the third-to-last District Governor of District 516 in 1988-89 (the District was renumbered 5160 for the 1991-92 Rotary Year).  To his wife, Lea, and his beloved Richmond Club, we extend condolences.  We hope it will be some consolation to know that Werner touched so many lives and made such a positive difference in the world.

A MOMENT WITH AYMERIC

Aymeric's parents, brother and girlfriend managed to head out for home, a week later than planned, thanks to Iceland's volcanic ash cloud.  Just in time, too, as Aymeric is moving to the Lee's humble abode this weekend, and Cal absolutely refused to have more than one van den Hove in his house.  Okay, we made that last part up, but Aymeric really is moving in with Cal and Agatha Sue. 

Also, Aymeric let us know that he will be showing his thespian side once again in the upcoming Acalanes High production of "The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged)."  Show dates are April 29, May 1, May 6 and May 7.  For the benefit of those who may be slow to pick up on this stuff, performances are at Acalanes High, Aymeric's adopted high school. For details, ask our Belgian boy; for tickets, call the school.

HARD TO EXCHANGE BANNERS WHEN WE AIN'T GOT NONE

After paying a five-spot for being tardy, Tom Black told us about his visit to a sister club on Grand Cayman Island, identified by him as being "somewhere in the Caribbean, I think." He described his mission as that of "bay boy for my wife, who, believe it or not, was there on business." That would be Wells Fargo Bank business. He brought back a banner, but was unable to reciprocate on the spot, as he did not bring one with him. (Doesn't this warrant an additional fine?) King John said Tom can return the favor once we get in a fresh supply of our own. Tom also reported that one of the members of the Grand Cayman Club was fined $2 for "preening" in the parking lot before the meeting.  Sounds like our kind of crowd.  It also sounds like it's only a matter of time before His Fazelness expands his repertoire of Stupid President Tricks.

TGITLFOTM ALERT

Next week will be the fifth, and last, Friday of April.  That means TGITLFOTM.  This month's rendition is at lovely home of Cal and Agatha Sue Lee, which by then also will be the lovely pied a terre of one Aymeric van den Hove.  Bring food, is the plaintive plea from Past-Prez Cal. 

MOTORAMA UPDATE

Bank of the West is sponsoring the logo glasses for our inaugural Motorama on June 20.  (The kind you drink out of, not the kind you look through.)  AHS Interact students will be helping out.  Skip McCowan is about ready to resort to public humiliation and armed thugs for those of you who have yet to make your wine contribution.  Just another day in the life of Chairperson Krysten Laine, who also needs to know who will be around for the day-of, so she knows who is available to do what.  Expect to see that sign-up sheet starting next week. 

WE HAVE YOUR SATURDAYS IN MAY PLANNED FOR YOU

Challenge: What to do with those pesky Saturdays.  You use all that energy figuring out what to do Sunday through Friday, but by Saturday you're at your wit's end.  What to do?

Leave it Lamorinda Sunrise Rotary, that's what.  We've got you covered. 

On May 8, it's the latest HOME Team work day, and the requests for our services are coming in thick and fast, says organizer/co-point-person Hays Englehart.  Help some seniors and bask in the glow of their gratitude.  This is truly a first-rate "feel good" program, so come on out and help.  If you can walk and chew gum at the same time, there is stuff you can do that will make a senior's day. 

On May 15, head back to Rush Ranch in Suisun City to help spruce up, paint, and help with whatever needs doing at the headquarters of Access Adventure, the brainchild of Michael Muir and the labor of love for Mary Lou Fazel that provides horse-drawn wagon rides for the mobility-challenged into rugged and scenic areas that they would never otherwise get to see.  We sent a work party to the Rush Ranch last August, and they had a great time. The work performed presumably was deemed satisfactory, as we have been invited back, by straw vote of the horses. Now it's your turn to swing a hammer or other do-good implement.

On May 22, you will have to make a choice.  Choice #1, we are helping paint the gazebo in downtown Lafayette.  Talk about a chance to leave your mark on the town.  Alex Arnold is organizing the work party, and we definitely need bodies. 

Choice #2 is the District 5160 Foundation Day at the Yin Ranch just this side of Vacaville.  You can meet fellow Rotarians from all over the District, you can learn more about the Rotary Foundation, how it works and what it does (and the more you learn, the prouder you are to be a Rotarian), and you can just have a great time.   The Yin Ranch is a private residence with more fun stuff for kids and adults than any one house should be allowed to have, so this is definitely a "bring the kids" event. $15 per adult, $5 for kids under 12, under 2 free. Gates open at 9:00 a.m.

See?  Your Saturday-in-May-scheduling worries are over.

PROGRAM

Today, we welcomed back County Supervisor Gail Uilkema (and former mayor of Lafayette).  She came to update us on what's happening in the County and in District 2, which includes some of the wealthiest areas of Contra Costa County (Lamorinda) and the poorest (a housing project in Rodeo). 

Ms. Uilkema gave us the outlook for County finances. That outlook boils down to two words: Not good.  Last year, CoCo County had a budget of $2.3 billion.  This year it's down to $1.68 billion, a whopping downsize.  It all goes back to the State's ongoing financial and budgetary crisis, because counties get their funds from the State.  And it is not going to get better before it gets worse.  The crisis will not turn the corner until, depending on who you believe, sometime between 2012 (Controller John Chiang's prediction) and 2017 (the prediction of the Legislative Analyst's Office).  It has not helped that our county has been ordered by the courts to return a fair chunk of change assessed Chevron -- $1.7 million in the first year, with more to come. 

Meanwhile, the Legislature is preparing to do what any rational politician does when one is forced to choose between unpalatable and unpopular choices, to wit: pass the buck, in this case meaning putting bunches of tough choices before the electorate in the form of ballot initiatives. Be prepared for Manhattan telephone book- sized voter pamphlets.

Supervisor Uilkema and her staff have been polling District 2 residents over the past few years to try to find out how her constituents feel about some of the issues that are front and center.  Because of how long this polling has been going on, Ms. Uilkema says that the numbers are, or are very close to being, statistically valid.  She discussed five with us.

First, District 2 residents living in incorporated cities are satisfied with their police and fire service and are willing to support it financially. 

Next, wood burning is getting to be less and less popular.  This is a good thing on several levels.  One, less wood burning means significantly less air pollution and significantly less air pollution-related health issues.  Two, without tougher regulations of wood burning, the area loses tons of federal transportation dollars.

Third, 72% of District 2 voters say they are against lowering the requirement for passing new taxes from the current two-thirds majority.  There have been proposals to lower the required vote to 55% or even an simple majority.  This won't play in District 2, according to survey results. (No indication of how it might play in Peoria.)

Should there be some sort of state-run health coverage for all Californians?  "No," say we denizens of District 2, "we don't trust it." 

And how about a 25 cents per gallon additional gas tax to fund clean air programs?  Not if District 2 has its way. 

So there you have it - the latest word on how your fellow District 2 residents feel about some of the key issues they -- and you -- will be asked to vote on in the near future. 

Supervisor Uilkema was asked for ideas for worthy causes that Lamorinda Sunrise Rotary might support.  She named three.  She started with the Fall Prevention Program, noting that for men over 65, a fall results in death 88% of the time.  A fall results in a broken hip and loss of mobility for 67% of the women over 65.  Next was the County Food Bank, which is seeing a huge increase in business because of the combination of the economic downturn and the decrease in county funding.  Finally, she reminded us about adopting a foster child.  No, not taking in a foster youngster, although that's a great thing to do.  Rather, she was referring to helping out with the program to help "emancipated" foster kids, the ones who have turned 18 and thus are no longer part of the foster care system.  Imagine you are 18, have been a ward of the court for much, and perhaps most, of your life.  You get a backpack, a pat on the back, and not much more.  Imagine how frightening, how lonely, how overwhelming it must be to have to take care of yourself and have none of the resources or support systems that we had or that our kids and grandkids have.  In Contra Costa County, more than 800 children are wards of the court at any given time, and about 400 become emancipated every year. There is plenty of room for helping out here.

(As a quick editorial aside, Lamorinda Sunrise is already on track in two of these three areas.  Part of the HOME Team process is for team members to do a visual assessment of the homes we visit and fill in a simple but comprehensive check-list for needed follow-up, and one of the areas listed concerns tripping and fall hazards.  Lamorinda Sunrise has also been a consistent contributor to the Food Bank, and we have sent a number of work parties over to load boxes.  As for helping emancipated foster kids, well, here's betting the we can find a way to help here as well.)

Thank you for coming to update us, Supervisor Uilkema.  Even when the news isn't altogether upbeat, we need to hear it.