THE LAMORINDAN Pat Flaharty Demotion Party

PAT FLAHARTY'S GRAND DEMOTION PARTY

This event has been hailed as that against which all future demotion parties will be compared. It is therefore deemed worthy of preservation for posterity in the archives of the deferential and reverential Lamorinda Sunrise Rotary. What follows is a collection of highlights from this soaring tribute to the inimitable Patrick Flaharty. (We assume Pat will read this, but will he GET IT?)

CAL LEE'S MUSINGS FROM THE JUNE 29 NEWSLETTER

Newbie David Waal started the morning meeting by giving a succinct Thought For The Day: "People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it." This was truly a prescient pronouncement for what was to follow, because his day didn't quite end there. Fast-forward to 12 hours later. David was in the spotlight again, but on his own turf. But "turf" doesn't exactly describe the magnificent venue for the demotional roasting of freshly Erstwhile-Prez Flaharty. It was matched only by the food provided by the other rookie David, as in David Isenberg. These two headed a coterie of Red Badgers who taught the oldsters how to put on a party. They produced a warm evening and elegant grounds for placement of the stations of culinary delights. The Waal house was, to say the least, too good for the musical group which sang about how Pat "feels pretty." We give the would-be crooners - and accompanist Cal Lee an A for effort. Just don't quite your day jobs, boys.

During the course of the evening, Pat was roasted by a vintage Fillinger narration with a slide show, speakers who unabashedly exposed every embarrassment they could find, some they had obviously made up and the presentation of a chef's hat (too small) and apron which everyone signed, some while he was wearing it. Pat may never again want to hear the phrase "I get it" or any variation thereof.

Pat was given a chance to present the customary plaque for Rotarian of the Year. And the choice was choice - CO-honorees: HAYS ENGLEHART, for dragging in all those new members through might and main, and MICHAEL EDWARDS, for giving Pat much wise counsel at the outset, arranging all those banners from other clubs worldwide, and constructing A La Cart.

Ever the opportunist Mike seized the moment to peddle a spontaneous big ticket auction item, unbeknownst to culinary partner Pat, to prepare, cook, serve, and wash up afterward, the meal to end all meals. This raised a cool $2,000 on the spot - $1,000 for each of two rapacious bidders who have not authorized the release of their identities. Based on a confidential piece of information from a member who has not been authorized to speak to the press, the winning bidders were Skip McCowan and Waal.

In the end, everyone did allow as how Pat had a pretty good year, with a record dozen new members to prove it. And no one can feel too sorry for him, what with a trip to Vienna and points east scheduled a few weeks from now. It will be interesting to see whether his Rotary pin (which he surely will wear 24/7) gets him into any adventures, or at least lunch.

The Waal/Isenberg combo may have established a tradition for some time to come

DAVE ISENBERG'S STORY

In my opinion the party was so successful because everyone got involved and it was a real team effort.

Here is some information on the food part. I had seven students from school helping me prep and cook. Three of the students met me after the meeting on Friday at David Waal's house at 9:15 AM and worked until 1:45 PM and off to school they went. The four other students arrived after their classes at 2 PM and worked until 9:15 PM. (we did pay them)

The idea was to use stations on the back deck and in the house to offer different types of food and move the crowd around. We had small plates at each station so people could go to a station try a little food and then move to another station. The California Culinary students manned each of the stations dishing up and preparing food in front of the guests.

Station # 1 The Carving Station with carved N.Y. steak rolls and condiments

Station #2 The Asian station offering: Tossed chicken salad; Sushi rolls made of Ahi (tuna), Crab, Unagi (BBQ Eel) and Vietnamese spring rolls with shrimp.

Station #3 The Pasta station tossed bow tie pasta with a rich tomato ,sausage and mushroom sauce

Station #4 Dessert station featuring: Sliced fruit platter, bowls of fresh strawberries and blueberries, assortment of cheeses baguettes and crackers and some individual fruit and lemon tarts and a personal favorite - walnut caramel short bread bar.

Chef David Isenberg | Chef Instructor
California Culinary Academy

MARK ROBERTS EXPLAINS THE RED BADGER STRATEGY

I suggested the theme "Get What?" as a foil to Pat's "I Get It!". A Mutts comic strip from early June was perfect. Buddy built on the idea and produced some great, large-scale graphics.

Knowing that Pat loves to cook and that he had received a toque (chef's hat) at the beginning of his term, I had the idea of combining his hobby with his theme by getting a second toque inscribed with "I Get It!" and an apron with "Come and Get It!" as a "going away present" from incumbent Red Badgers. He seemed to appreciate the thought and wore the apron the rest of the night. We wanted all guests at the party to sign it and many did.

All in all, I'm pretty sure a good time was had by all.

AS USUAL PAUL FILLINGER IS A BETTER TALKER THAN HE IS A WRITER OR SINGER

Ron, I'm not sure I gave you the names of the LSRC Choral because I wasn't sure how to spell choral--Skip, Dave Watson, Mark, Brad Davis and Paul F. Don't forget silent Cal, tickling the ivories, however he will never own up to it! One rehearsal and one run through before the event--and still we couldn't Get It right. But it didn't matter because, I'm told, no one could (or wanted to) hear us anyway. That's why you should print your lyrics in the special edition. Whom did I ask? Nearly everyone. I can tell you for sure, this is not a singing club--or few who would admit it.

As to the slide show, you had to be there. The pictures were so powerful, they carried the message and the words, not written down anywhere--they just sprang from the cockles of my heart--didn't really mean anything--mostly because people were laughing at the pictures. And then, wouldn't you know, the Waal's dog, Fido, went and ate the pictures (DVD) when the party was over. That's how hungry the dog was and how poor my memory is! (Waal, don't you feed your dog?)

TOM BLACK STRAIGHTENS EVERYTHING OUT

Kind of him to compliment the slides (pix by yours truly), but he is far too modest. His narration -- entirely extemporaneous -- was vintage Fillinger -- smart-ass, on the mark and hilarious. Too bad it wasn't taped for posterity. He also should be acknowledged in the newsletter for having put together the entire program and the slide show, as only Paul can do. He possesses more socko-boffo creativity than most people can only wish for.

ALEX ARNOLD WITH A FEW Of PAT TRUE CONFESSIONS

As for the "roast," my part was to give everyone a "history of Pat stories." I don't have my notes with me, so I'm going from memory. Pat and I have been neighbors for over 30 years, and have experienced together the raising of children, the borrowing of all manner of stuff, the watching of our homes and the like. I highlighted a couple stories. One related how Pat noticed that my family went back to NY for Christmas each year, so he politely asked about our Christmas Tree and if he could "borrow it" for the holidays while we were gone. Sure Pat, no problem. So each Christmas time for 15 years, Pat and I would wrap our tree in a sheet and carry it to the Flahartys before we left for NY. The Flahartys would be responsible for taking the tree down, repacking the decorations and returning them to our garage. I had a couple of stories about how we tried to manage each others kids over the years. E.g. my boys having a party while Mary Jane and I were gone by convincing Pat it was a good idea. Margaret Flaharty had a different idea wouldn't you guess?

WORDS TO THE SONG THAT PAUL CLAIMS NOBODY HEARD

We don't get it
Rarely get it
And it's causing a whole lot of stress
We can't get it
And our lives are a horrible mess

(WHY) Should we get it?
(WHO CARES) If we get?
Pat has taken it to the extreme
(PLEASE GOD) Let it be over
If we hear it again we will scream

Bridge:
Now comes the worst part of all
Fazel is under Pat's spell
John could have spared us this misery
But he's sticking with I Get It Hell!

One more year
Of I Get It
We are already out of our minds!
This much we surely do know
We got it, I get it, must go
(YES) WE GOT IT!...IGET IT!...MUST GO!!!
Music "I'm So Pretty" by Leonard Bernstein, Lyrics by Ron (Sondheim) Brown

BRAD DAVIS WRAPS IT UP WITH A TRADEMARK POEM

Past presidents of the club have a vested interest in Pat conducting himself in a manner that upholds the honor, the stature, of those fine men and women who preceded him.

But the "I GET IT" thing. He has bludgeoned us with this sophomoric jingle for the past 16 months, 4 months before he took over the gavel.

OK, so he GETS his epiphany. This great awakening, and GETS it. But how did he think and act before this happened?

Let me give you a few examples of themes related to his mantra.

He once said "I got it and it really itches and burns." A past president rescued him by forging a penicillin prescription. It worked.

"I thought I sent it but they must have misplaced it." That was his answer when asked why he hadn't submitted the club status report that, once again, would have earned the club recognition as the best club in all of Rotary's 32,000 clubs.

"I sold it for what I paid for it." His answer to the IRS investigator when asked how much profit he made on the 4,000 acres of Moraga land he bought in 1945 and sold in 2000, at the peak of the market.

One afternoon while shopping for a matching outfit, what a surprise, Pat was approached by a young man who appeared to be a priest. Patrick, my boy, I hear you made a pretty penny or two on the land deal. Well, said Pat...padre...sir...dude, "technically I didn't sell it. I gave it to charity (wink wink).

Within the past month, while having a particularly difficult time controlling the Friday meeting, he said "I want all of you to get, or I'm holding my breath until I turn blue and pass out."

I've polled the past presidents and as you can imagine, we have some reservations about welcoming him to our midst.

Perhaps I can express our sentiments this way:

Roses are red
Opals are black
We may want the club
To take Pat back

Oh he's friendly and courteous
And blow dries his hair
But we're hesitant to welcome him
Into our lair.

But we're eclectic and forgiving
We embrace deviant thought
  Perhaps Pat's the perfect fit
  For the GQ guy slot

  We'll nurture and mold him
  To be like us, more homogenized
  But we fear he'll get the group
  Totally organized

   So welcome Mr. Flaharty
   To the peanut gallery we hold dear
   As we salute and applaud you
   For an outstanding year!

Thanks, Pat

Editors note: I find it curious that almost none of these clever folks kept notes or copies of their contributions. Possibly thinking about future deniability?