THE LAMORINDAN February 13

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Today's bon mot came courtesy of Paul Fillinger. A long time ago, Paul gave a talk entitled "Why Can't We Get Along?" Nobody remembered the talk, but Paul pressed forward anyway, extolling us thusly: "What could you not accept if you but knew that everything that happens, all events, past, present and in the future, are gently planned by One whose only purpose is your good?"

GUESTS, VISITING ROTARIANS, AND SUCH

Roy Featherson - Lafayette
David Isenberg - At least his second visit

BIRTHDAYS & ANNIVERSARIES & MISCELLANEOUS GOOD NEWS

For one reason or another, a meriad of B's and A's have slipped past under the radar, so there was a bunch catching up today. But first, President Flaharty announced that there would be no more fines during his reign for birthdays, anniversaries, and the like. Contributions for such things will be voluntary (at least until July 1, when a more mercenary and less benevolent Grand High Potentate takes over), which means the only weapon available to Pat will be guilt. You know guilt; it's the gift that keeps on giving.

So on with the fun.

Bob Heinen had a birthday in January, and his wife has since had one, too. Bob did nothing fancy for his Special Day. He's pretty smart, though, because he knew that would not work for Spousal Unit Kandy, so he took her to Disneyland. Fortunately, she likes Disneyland, so it was all good. Bob figured that this all added up to a $100 contribution to the Club, so maybe Prez Pat is on to something with the "No More Fines for B&A" policy.

Nancy Polis admitted to a New Year's Day birthday and reported that her Dad was mildly annoyed that she couldn't get it together to make her appearance a few hours earlier so he could get the tax deduction for the old year, too. (He also told her that the Tournament of Roses Parade was in honor of her birthday, so I think you can guess how seriously to take the whole "tax deduction" thing.)

Don Reichert celebrated his 80th birthday (an age no one would ever guess) and his and Gwen's 58th anniversary by not only making a donation, but offering to match a $100 Paul Harris donation for the first Lamorinda Sunriser to raise his hand (who was Mike Edwards), and Ken Kosich was asked to make a $20 "donation" to the till in honor of the events. His Patship called this a "donation," but there was a distinctly fine-like tinge to the proceedings. Methinks additional investigative reporting is called for. Maybe Cal or Ron will do it . . . .

Rod Ford-Smith spent his birthday at Miramonte High watching Margaret's grandson's inaugural wrestling match. Rod stayed in the stands, where he belonged.

Venera Maysuryants had a birthday on February 1st, which means we were comparatively on time for her. She reported that she had a lovely dinner at the Rosa Pistola, followed by a surprise dessert gathering at her sister's place.

TIME TO LEARN THE FOUR-WAY TEST

Alex Arnold announced that next week is our annual Four-Way Test Speech Contest, in which high school students give seven minute talks focusing on their thoughts about the Four-Way Test and competing for cash prizes. (You remember the Four-Way Test, right? It's that thing that Has-Been Prez Fillinger tried to get us to memorize last year, with mixed success - our fault, not his.) The winner of our Contest will move on to the District 5160 Contest, where more cash prizes will be up for grabs. According to Alex, the purpose of the Four-Way Speech Contest (which Rotary International encourages all Clubs to host) is to "encourage youth, Rotarians and the community at large to more completely understand, encourage and foster the principles of Rotary and the object of Service Above Self."

Just when we all were shaking our heads in disbelief at how articulate and moving Alex could be, he let it slip that he cribbed that from the District 5160 web site. Regardless, it was a fine "I Get It" moment. So be sure to come our next meeting to hear these excellent young speakers.

A BANNER DAY FOR BANNERS

A couple of weeks ago, it was our stand of international flags that was returned, having been given the "Mike Edwards" treatment of straightening, cleaning, rearranging, and generally being made to look good instead of like something out of a flea market. Now, it appears that the "Mike Edwards" treatment has been turned on the myriad banners from other Clubs that have been acquired over the years by Lamorinda Sunrisers making up at other Clubs. Mike's research has not uncovered what percentage of said banners came as the result of Don Reichert's travels all over the world (I'm guessing it's over 65%), but the resurrected banners sure look gooooood. There are some more to go, but many thanks to Mike for taking this on and to Kathleen for her major part in this project.

CHEAP ROT-GUT? FUHGETTABOUTIT

Mike "Guido" Edwards brought in some of his award-winning wine today - okay, it hasn't won any awards, but it should, because Mike makes some mighty fine wine. Doing his best "Sopranos" imitation, Mike told us how the grapes were from Mendicino County near Hopland and were mostly dry-farmed. The wine is a mix of about two-thirds Cabernet Sauvignon and one-third Zinfandel. The wine spent a year in a mix of French and American oak barrels (the wine from both sets of barrels were then mixed).

So why bring a case of this ambrosia? Because Mike was auctioning it off and donating the proceeds to the Lamorinda Sunrise foundation as part of the effort to replace at least some of the funds lost from there being no Dinner & Auction this year. Guido, er, I mean Mike, sweetened the pot by adding a wine-tasting notebook and a universal label-making kit, both decidedly low-tech.

The bidding action was hot and heavy, and at the end, both Krysten Laine and Paul Bettelheim were the proud owners of a case at the bargain price of $200/case. Paul was so overwhelmed that he decided to just make the donation and not take the wine, at which point George Chaffey stepped to make the purchase. So Krysten and George got some great wine, they and Paul got a lighter checkbook, and the Club got some more $$$ for doing good in the upcoming reign of Prez-Elect John Fazel.

Many thanks, Mike. Not only did you raise some needed funds, but we all had a great time in the process.

COMING SOON TO POST OFFICE BULLETIN BOARDS EVERYWHERE

He got rained out last week, but this week the weather abated long enough for Tom Black to get a group photo of the 2009 version of Lamorinda Sunrise. Lest you think this was just for giggles, it will likely be part of a write-up about our Merrie Band in the Fourth Estate in the near future. Keep you eyes peeled. And no, Tom, this is not how Richard Avedon got his start.

MYSTERY ROTARIAN

This week's Mystery Rotary will have to remain a mystery for another week.

PROGRAM

Everyone thinks they know about grand juries, and they do - to a point. Criminal grand juries indict people accused of crimes, who then get to stand trial. Pretty much all of us know about these grand juries.

But there is another species of grand jury that used to be fairly wide spread but now exists only in California and Nevada. That would be the civil grand jury, and this week's speaker, Past President of the Contra Costa County Grand Jury, Jerry Holcombe, was here to tell us about what this important but under-publicized unit does.

So what does a civil grand jury do? In a nutshell, it is the "watchdog for tax payers," said Mr. Holcombe, with a commission to check into any agency that receives and spends tax dollars. In California, each county has a civil grand jury, and each one is reconstituted every year.

To be eligible to apply, you must be at least 18 years old, have been a Contra Costa County resident for at least one year, and you have to have a goodly amount of free time (Mr. Holcombe estimated the time commitment to be 20 to 30 hours per week). The gender mix is roughly 50/50, with perhaps a few more men than women, and most folks are retirees because the time commitment makes it hard for others to take on the responsibility.

This is not an official requirement, but Mr. Holcombe stressed that it is important that applicants not come in with an agenda. If you are unhappy with the decision by the Planning Commission concerning your rumpus room addition, this is not the place to come looking to get even. Such folks get weeded out during the application and interview process.

The civil grand jury selects its own topics, and the inspiration to conduct an investigation often comes from newspaper stories. But the communication is strictly one-way. For reasons both legal and practical, the civil grand jury's proceedings are strictly secret. The only time the public at large will know that the civil grand jury has been investigating some agency or office is if a report is issued. If a reporter calls asking if an investigation in under way, or even if one is under consideration, the answer from the President is, by law, always the same: "I can neither confirm nor deny."

Nor does a single member have the ability to initiate an investigation. All but two counties have 19 civil grand jurors (Los Angeles County has 23 and Alpine County has 11), and it takes 12 of those to authorize an investigation. It also takes 12 jurors to authorize issuing a report. It is thus possible - and it does happen - that the grand jury can authorize an investigation and all the work can be done, but the report is never issued because the requisite 12 members do not agree on the contents. In that instance, the report and the file are destroyed.

Mr. Holcombe estimated that there are about 25 investigations authorized and 8-9 reports issued each year. There is virtually no staff - all the substantive work, including typing up the proposed report, is done by the grand jurors themselves. This is necessary to maintain the confidentiality required.

The grand jury's potential reach is quite broad: if tax dollars are involved and it's in Contra Costa County, the CoCo Civil Grand Jury can investigate it, with one exception: by law, the grand jury cannot look into public school curriculum.

So what impact does the civil grand jury have? It is hard, if not impossible, to quantify, especially since the civil grand jury has no enforcement authority, but it is very real nonetheless. Mr. Holcombe noted that, sometimes, just the fact that the grand jury starts looking into an agency or office leads to changes being made. Sometimes, a grand jury investigation can lead to more support or resources going to an agency or office that has been trying hard to do its job with inadequate resources. A recent example is a civil grand jury report nudging the County Health Department to pay more attention to school lunch kitchens.
Another example: it used to be that fire fighters could sign on for virtually limitless overtime, which cost the County $9 million. The prevailing logic was that fire fighters would know when they are too tired to be effective and thus police their own OT. (One fire fighter apparently had a very high tolerance for fatigue, as he/she earned about $240,000 in one year.) The grand jury was concerned that this was a safety issue, and recommended that limits be established. Now, there are limits on fire fighter overtime in place.

Lest one think that Contra Costa County is teeming with corruption and malfeasance, Mr. Holcombe reported that, on the whole, taxpayers ' dollars are spent as intended in agencies and offices staffed by people committed to doing the job right and as efficiently as possible. That doesn't mean that there isn't room for improvement, but Mr. Holcombe's assessment of how tax-supported agencies and offices do their work was reassuringly positive.

Mr. Holcombe concluded by encouraging us to look out for the announcements seeking applicants and further encouraged us to consider applying to serve. Thank you, Mr. Holcombe, for informing us about this important but too little understood way that anyone can serve the community.