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eMatrimony Newsletter Supporting, Encouraging and Challenging the WWME Community |
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eMatrimony News | (March &) April 2011 |
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Greetings!
Sometimes we try to be Superman or Superwoman, believing we can leap over buildings and defy gravity. Inevitably we learn the hard way that we have our limitations. We fail, we hurt ourselves and others trying to be too many things to too many people. What really hurts the most is when we put our own relationship on the side in order to appear superhuman to others. Maybe dialogue time suffers, maybe our sexual relationship becomes an afterthought. This is not what God asks of us. He never called us to be everything to everyone. Each of us has our own unique gifts and talents, and we need to discern, through prayer, where to spend those talents. It requires saying "No" sometimes, otherwise we spread ourselves too thin.
This has happened to us, recently, and has resulted in us letting others and each other down in certain ways. Realizing this brings feelings of remorse and regret. It's like the brother in the gospel who says "Yes" to his father but doesn't fulfill his task. (Matt 21:28-32) We missed producing March's edition of eMatrimony. We humbly ask your forgiveness and offer you April's version instead.
Love, Joe & Linda Oppelt eMatrimony editors
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 World Council Report - February 2011
The Worldwide Marriage Encounter World Council Meeting is held annually. The following six Secretariat Ecclesial Teams make up the World Council: Pan Africa, Asia, Europe, Latin America, Pacific and North America. The International Ecclesial Team, a Secretary Couple, and an Interpreter Couple completed this year's World Council Team. The meeting is held in the various Secretariat locations and this year, Latin America hosted the meeting in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.
It was our (Jose and Marilyn Garcia and Fr. Mitch Walters) privilege as the North American Secretariat Ecclesial Team to represent North America (United States and Canada and their associated countries and territories).
Click here for full report and photos.
Jose ♥ Marilyn Garcia and Fr. Mitch Walters, North American Secretariat Ecclesial Team |
Love Letter from Fr. Claude Cote
(Editor's note: Father Claude Cote is from District 3 in Canada, and Lloyd and Georgette Litke are from District 6 in Canada.)
Dear friends,
At a Marriage Encounter meeting we attended we wrote a10/10 on the question: "The model of Leadership that Christ gave us is one of service and sacrifice. In what ways am I a Leader like Jesus. WAMFAT?" We were touched by the letter Father Claude wrote so we asked if he would allow us to share it with our ME. family. We believe his letter will inspire and touch the hearts of the couples who dedicate themselves to the wonderful works of WWME.
We thank God for Father Claude and all the beloved priests for their love and fidelity to this mission. You are truly precious and special to us! We are grateful to be able to share this letter.
Lots of love & hugs, Georgette & Lloyd Litke
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The model of Christ's leadership is one of service and sacrifice.
In what way am I a leader who models the example of Jesus? - WAMFAT?
For me, I see my priestly ministry as a position of service, not one of power. Jesus inspires me, for I see Him making Himself close to His people; healing them and consoling them, praying to God the Father for those who do not understand and forgiving those who are sorry for their failings.
And this is how I want to be a priest. I am aware that to be faithful to this calling, I need patience and mercy. There are many excuses and temptations when I try to justify myself at the apparent failure of my vocation.
Lord, make me more generous with my love towards others so that I too, can proclaim like the old prophet Simeon, "Thank you Lord, your servant's heart is at peace". Do we ask God to help us to be fruitful?
What keeps me connected to Marriage Encounter is the strong conviction that God is among us in this mission to renew the sacrament of Marriage and that of Holy Orders. I am convinced that we are fully in the midst of the faith formation and evangelization of the people in the most precious gift they have to offer; their need to be loved and to be valued. There is no greater "good news" than this. We need our Lord with us to give us courage and humility to proclaim this truth. We must accept this is a slow process and not to lose heart in the challenges and difficulties we may encounter along the way.
I feel like an athlete training for the Olympics; I must constantly keep my objective in sight and count on the help of my team with whom I share this goal.
I thank you Lord, for surrounding me with my "team". I feel privileged.
Le modèle du leadership du Christ est un modèle de service et de sacrifice. De quelle façon suis-je un leader à la façon de Jésus - CJMS
Pour moi, je vois vraiment mon sacerdoce comme un service et non comme un pouvoir. Jésus m'inspire, c'est lui que je regarde se faire proche du monde, guérir et consoler, prier le Père pour ceux qui ne comprennent pas et pardonner à ceux qui le regrettent.
C'est ainsi que je veux être prêtre. Je suis conscient que pour être fidèle à cet appel j'ai besoin de patience, de miséricorde car il y a tant d'excuses et de tentations pour me justifier de ne pas être ajusté à cet appel.
Seigneur donne-moi encore plus de gratuité dans mon amour pour les autres afin de pouvoir dire comme le vieillard Siméon : « Merci Seigneur, ton serviteur a le cœur en paix. » Est-ce que nous demandons à Dieu de nous aider à être féconds.
Ce qui me tient engagé dans « Vivre et Aimer » c'est la conviction très profonde que Dieu est avec nous dans cette mission de renouveler les sacrements du mariage et de l'ordre. Je suis convaincu que nous sommes en plein dans l'éducation de la foi et dans l'évangélisation des gens, dans ce qu'ils ont de plus précieux à savoir leur besoin d'être aimé et d'être valable. Il n'y a pas de plus belle nouvelle à annoncer. Il faut qu'Il soit avec nous pour nous donner l'audace et l'humilité de dire et d'être devant tout le monde. Il faut accepter que ce soit lent et que notre enthousiasme ne tombe pas à cause de toutes les contrariétés.
Je me sens comme celui qui pratique une discipline olympique. Il faut sans cesse se remettre devant l'objectif à atteindre et compter sur l'équipe avec qui je partage cette mission.
Merci Seigneur d'être ainsi entouré. Je me sens privilégié.
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| Patricia & Doriano Baisi. |
Changing Seasons, Changing Attitudes
In the early days of our marriage, Doriano expected me to make the bed in the morning almost as soon as I'd gotten up. I hate making the bed and my procrastinations would annoy him. On the other hand, Patricia expected me to want to sit and watch television with her in the evening. I don't like watching television unless it is sports or the news. As you can imagine, these, along with a few other expectations, set us up for numerous conflicts.
The expectations we've shared above are relatively minor, but they are used to illustrate a point. Expectations are the trigger points for disillusionment in our relationships with others. Disillusionment doesn't happen overnight. It builds upon one disappointment after another.
We use our disappointments to judge that the other person doesn't love us enough or to tell ourselves that we are not worthy of their love. Guilt and annoyance begins to set in. These negative messages slowly erode the trust and goodwill we feel for the other person. We become judgemental of our spouse and family members. We become judgemental of our WWME community. In other words, we become disillusioned. Disillusionment takes the joyfulness out of life and replaces it with cynicism. Love shrivels up like grass under the weight of snow.
Our relationships grow cold like a frigid day in the middle of winter.
We need to remember that relationships cycle through seasons of light and dark. If we reflect back on our marriage, we can pinpoint moments that mirror the seasons: Spring feelings of happiness, anticipation, renewal; Summer feelings of contentment, relaxation, fulfillment; Autumn feelings of restlessness, ambition, sadness; and Winter feelings of discontentment, disconnection, loneliness. If we acknowledge that these cycles are a natural pattern of life, just as the weather seasons are, we are encouraged to work through the negative feelings and back into a loving relationship.
The important idea remains the concept of "working through the darkness" and back into the light. During periods of disillusionment, there is the temptation to just walk away and let someone else deal with "it". A change in attitude is required. It is essential to appreciate our differences instead of seeing them as a threat to our well-being as a couple or as a community. Our differences can complement each other and bring a further dimension to our relationship if we communicate our personal needs effectively. Remember, God takes great joy in His creation and He created each of us as a unique individual.
Spring is blossoming in the Northern Hemisphere! We will say a prayer for each of you that spring will blossom in your relationships with your spouse and within your WWME communities.
10/10 Questions:
1. What expectations do I have of you that cause us to frequently disagree? How do I feel about my answer?
2. What negative emotions have I been feeling this week? How do I feel about my answer?
3. Today, in our marriage, I judge it to be the ______________ season. How do I feel about my answer?
4. How do I think I can support our marriage commitment more fully? What are my feelings about my answer?
5. How can I complement your differences? How do I feel about my answer?
6. I feel disillusioned about ______________. Why? How do I feel about my answer?
7. Who in our WWME community have I disappointed recently and why? How do I feel about my answer?
8. What recent event has lead me to feel disillusioned about WWME and do I still feel that way? Why or why not? How do I feel about my answer?
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Prime Time India Newsletter: Relationship Drift
The following is an excerpt from the excellent newsletter from WWME India: Prime Time. The cover graphic, seen here, illustrates the topic of "Relationship Drift". Please click on the link below to read the rest of the article (go to page 8), as well as many more great topics in this newsletter. The sidebar above also includes the link to the PDF - note a small error occurs when opening it - just click "OK".
Fight the Relationship Drift - by Bo Sanchez
Warning: There's a cruel epidemic afflicting our families, our marriages, and our friendships. It's called The Relationship Drift. It's a very devious disease. It's like some cancers. You really don't know you have it until it's fatal. And then it's too late. And then Relationship Drift becomes Relationship Dead.
The only solution is to diagnose it early. But the symptoms of Relationship Drift are almost invisible to the naked eye. Because you're not really fighting each other. There are no screaming matches. In fact, your home is quiet. And there are no pots and pans flying in the air. But little by little, your hearts move apart. Intimacy is gone. Joy is missing. In marriage, sex only happens every time Haley's comet passes planet earth. You take each other for granted. One day, you know the disease had run its full course because you wake up one morning not caring for the other person anymore.
Let me give you examples of the Relationship Drift: The father who doesn't have heart-to-heart conversations with his kids anymore. Or the wife who doesn't enjoy her husband's company anymore. Or a couple who talk to each other functionally, not deeply. Here's why: We live in a busy world; where bills need to be paid; cars need to be repaired and kids need to be fed and nurtured. My point? It's natural that you drift apart. You don't have to be a bad person. You don't have to be obnoxious, selfish, or evil to cause the disease called Relationship Drift. Let me give you an analogy. - Two people in a relationship are like two little boats floating on the sea. The problem is there's a current that will slowly pull the two boats apart. Before they know it, the two boats are miles away from each other.
Click here to read the rest of the article |
Flash Mob: Melbourne Florida
The Central Florida area had a booth at an outdoor festival and we had many couples stop by for information. There were also two couples who signed up for a June weekend. When the flash mob took place what was really great is that couples who just attended a WWME weekend last weekend showed up for the flash mob activity. There was even a round of applause from the crowd as we held up signs proclaiming the number of years we all have been happily married.
YouTube Link to Florida's Flash mob
Submitted by
Dick & Diane Baumbach and Fr. Dick Morse
WWME North American Weekend Pillar |
Easter Reflections from Fr Mario Barbero,
WWME Italy
My dear,
Once again Palm Sunday introduces us into the Holy Week of the Passion and Resurrection of Jesus Our Savior. For me and for many priests this week is also a special time of closeness to many brothers and sisters who come to us for the sacrament of reconciliation: every day of this week I'll be hearing confessions in various neighboring parishes and this is always a beautiful gift for me too.
As I continue with my various activities of mission awareness in the Diocese of Brescia, I wish to share with you two extraordinary events of these past weeks.
First, the invitation, at the end of March, to present a Marriage Encounter Weekend in Ireland. This has been for me not only the occasion to present a weekend in English, after 2 years I present weekends in Italian, but also to meet the Irish ME community and express them my deep gratitude because it is from Irish couples and priests that I received the gift of ME in 1978 when they came from Ireland to Nairobi, Kenya, to start ME. That event in 1978 has marked my missionary life since.
Second, at the beginning of April, the pilgrimage to Holy Land with a group of 44 people, as part of the Biblical course that for the last 2 years I have been giving in some parishes of the Diocese. As a group we have, somehow, celebrated the Holy Week two weeks in advance.Reading the Gospel texts concerning the Holy Family and the life of Jesus in the very places where these events took place has been a touching experience and a challenge to follow Jesus more closely. To celebrate the stations of the cross along the "Via dolorosa" in Jerusalem; celebrating Mass in Nazareth, Bethlehem, Mount of the beatitudes, Cenacle and Holy Sepulcher are unforgettable moments. Many of my fellow-pilgrims were saying that now, as they'll listen to these Gospel texts, it will be like "being there".
On Easter Day I'll baptize Martina the last-born of my grand nieces, a gift of God to my niece Daniela and her husband Francesco. She in n. 37 among my nephews and nieces and grands.
I wish each one of you Happy Easter, asking the Lord to give you a renewed hope in His grace and love for you.
Fr. Mario Barbero
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Contact Information | eMatrimony Editors
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