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eMatrimony Newsletter
Supporting, Encouraging and Challenging the WWME Community |
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eMatrimony News | November/December 2010 |
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Greetings!
This month we enter into Advent. As we hustle and bustle our way through all the holiday preparations, baking, stringing the Christmas lights, shopping, shopping and more shopping, let's be sure not to put our marriage relationships on the back burner. Put each other first. Schedule time for dialogue and prayer. And be sure to be mindful that the spirit of this season is not about material things. Gather with family. Focus your gatherings on people, not property.
For those with children in the household, consider this interesting Advent tradition from Joe's childhood: The empty manger was set up on the first day of Advent. Throughout Advent if a child did something praiseworthy, s/he would get to place a piece of straw in the stable to add to the soft bed being prepared for the baby Jesus. Likewise, s/he would remove a piece of straw for a misdeed. The pride or shame of placing or removing a piece of straw meant the world to us. They were simple times, and I remember this fondly.
Love,
Joe & Linda Oppelt
eMatrimony editors
Next month's focus will be on successful inviting ideas. Let's share what works best! Please feel free to send us your ideas and input!
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Remembrance
 | | Patricia and Doriano Baisi |
On November 11 at 11:11 am, people all over the world stopped to remember the fallen heroes from all the armed conflicts in the world. In Canada, this date is a statutory holiday that they call Remembrance Day. People gather at the cenotaphs in each community to lay wreaths, hear speeches and, perhaps, have a conversation with one of the veterans there. We remember the fallen, before going on our way for the day. However, there is a big difference between the terms: remember and remembrance.
We remember things every day. Remember to pick up the groceries for dinner. Remember to take Samantha to her dance lesson and Spencer to his Cub Scouts. Remember where you put your car keys. Remember to mail a birthday card. Remember to say your prayers. Remember, remember, remember.
Remembrance, on the other hand, requires effort. Remembrance is a call to action. It requires us to do more than make a check mark beside our mental list of things to do. Remembrance is about stopping all else in our lives to focus on one person (or group of people); to consciously remember and pray for them. We need to reflect on their lives and/or deaths and how they have affected our lives. Have we changed because of them? Do we still need to make further changes? Have we forgiven past hurts?
How often have you said, "I'll remember you in my prayers."? We suggest that remembering is an inadequate response. Instead, there should be a "remembrance of you in my prayers". The stopping and reflecting on the importance of that person(s) in our lives should be the goal; the actual lifting up of that person to God and asking His blessing upon them. It is a call to look into ourselves to examine whether we have reflected God's love and compassion back onto the world.
Depending upon the situation, remembrance may be a few minutes or several hours. The important message is to: to stop, reflect, and lift up the joys and sorrows to God. In our busy world, we need more moments of remembrance.
Patricia and Doriano Baisi
Canadian eMatrimony Editors
10/10 Questions:
1. What are my thoughts on "Remembrance"? How do I feel sharing this with you?
2. Who have I failed to lift up in remembrance? How do I feel about that?
3. The last time I lifted someone up in remembrance was ________________? How do I feel about that?
4. Am I too busy in my life to stop and lift up my prayers in remembrance? How do I feel about that? |
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Longest Married Couple Project: Update
Dec. 1, 2010. The search for the longest married couple project sponsored by Worldwide Marriage Encounter enters the family holiday period with over 120 nominations from 36 states.
"It is our hope that we can honor, not only the national longest married couple, but one couple from each state. Based on what we are seeing many family members along with longtime friends are nominating couples for the award," explained Scott & Karen Seaborn and Fr, Tom Griffith, SVD, the United States Ecclesial Team for WWME.
Dick & Diane Baumbach and Fr. Dick Morse, who serve as the North American Weekend Pillar for the WWME movement and are overseeing the project, added, "We know that traditionally families get together during the holiday period and what a perfect time to nominate parents or grandparents who have been married for a long time." They also said that couples can nominate themselves for the recognition.
In addition to continuing to accept nominations for couples living in all states, they are particularly being sought from the following states: Alaska, Connecticut, Georgia, Hawaii, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Nevada, New Hampshire, South Carolina, South Dakota, Utah, Vermont, Virginia and West Virginia.
Plans call for the Seaborns and Fr. Griffith to personally present the longest married couple in the United States with a special gift on Feb. 14, 2011. The individual state winners will receive a special certificate of achievement from the Worldwide Marriage Encounter movement. The state winners will be presented their certificates by Worldwide Marriage Encounter couples.
Nominations, which are open to all husband and wife couples regardless of faith expression, may be submitted by email, regular mail or by calling a special phone number.
The contact information for sending in a nomination, which simply requires the name of the couple, their wedding date and where they currently reside plus a phone or email address, is as follows:
email: Dick & Diane Baumbach;
US mail:
Dick & Diane Baumbach
1430 Scorpious Ct.
Merritt Island, FL 32953
Phone: 321-453-2475
Nominations must be received by January 10th, 2011. |
 | | Janel and Robert Lange |
Book Review: "The Treasure of Staying Connected, for Military Couples"
We had the opportunity to read "The Treasure of Staying Connected, for Military Couples" by Janel Lange. Janel and Robert Lange, along with with Fr. Joe Brando, are the leadership team for WWME military support, and their extensive life experiences with Marriage Encounter and being a military family blend for a perfect perspective on the subject.
The focus of book is to help the military couple prepare their relationship for the rigors and trials of separation that is a part of almost any military career. An underlying theme is that separation in a shaky relationship is difficult to navigate. Conversely, deliberate preparation before separation helps spouses stay strong when they must be apart. Note that the preparation discussed here is not about legal, financial or material preparation. It is about the strengthening of the heart-to-heart and soul-to-soul bonds between husband and wife. Developing a routine and a hunger for daily connection on spiritual and emotional levels while they are together allows the couple to maintain their connection from a distance.
Janel gives wonderful examples of daily exercises a couple can do while they are together. She also gives ideas for reaching across the distances once the couple is apart. The examples are presented through the experiences of several different people, offered both from the perspective of the deployed spouse and the one who remains at home. Anyone familiar with the principles of Marriage Encounter will recognize the concept of Dialogue among these examples, but the exercises are not limited to Dialogue, and the whole book is presented in a way that a couple who hasn't experienced a Marriage Encounter weekend will easily pick up the concepts.
One caution: The main focus of the book is relationship preparation, and it assumes a strong relationship before separation occurs. It really doesn't intend to help repair a shaky relationship that is compounded by separation. Perhaps that would be the subject matter for a sequel in the same spirit as a Retrouvaille weekend. No doubt even a struggling couple could find gems in "Staying Connected," but a military couple would better serve their relationship by starting with this book before they are separated by a military assignment. (And the sooner they start the better!)
If you are looking for a valuable Christmas gift for someone in the military, perhaps this is the item you want! It is a quick read and easy to follow. The cost is $10.95 plus shipping. You can order it at http://www.serviampublishing.com and the site also lists some bookstores that carry it so that you can avoid shipping. The book is also available on Amazon, and the Langes have also offered to provide the book for a below-retail price to Marriage Encounter couples! (Just drop them an email at publisher@serviampublishing.com and identify yourself as a Marriage Encounter couple. You can also get additional discounts for multiple copies by dropping an email there.)
One final note: The Langes have put together a one day pre-deployment workshop based on the principles of the book, and are always happy for opportunities to present it. In addition to helping couples prepare their relationships for deployment, they hope the workshop will whet couples' appetites for the ME Weekend when time allows them to attend. If a community would like to host a workshop, the Langes would love to hear from them. (Contact them at publisher@serviampublishing.com.) |
 | | Patricia and Doriano Baisi |
Christmas Presence
Every year we hear the same refrain..."I hate the Commercialization of Christmas!" "I hate the shopping!" "I hate all the hustle and bustle; there's never a spare moment to really enjoy the season." Perhaps this negativity is because of our attitude. We forget what the gift giving and entertaining is about. It is about putting others above ourselves in the celebration of Jesus' birth.
The real gifts of Christmas are the thought and energy that goes into the selection of the gift -- whether it be homemade or purchased. Before we can give a gift, we must consider the needs and wants of the recipient. Once we have identified those, we must then search out a gift that is within our ability to give. Finally the gift is prepared for presentation, often wrapped in an attractive manner. All of this takes time and energy. It focuses our thoughts on that person. What a perfect time to offer up prayers to our Father in thanksgiving for this person in our lives. Pray for their health and happiness.
We often lose sight of the joy our gifts bring. To the recipient, the gift symbolizes remembrance, caring, and kindness...and perhaps, love. It lifts their self-esteem. It reminds them that they are important to someone. Even the small gesture of sending a Christmas card or letter lifts the spirits of the person receiving this small gift and offers us a moment to say a prayer for their well being as we write. For the giver, knowing the joy and pleasure the gift brought also lifts self-esteem and offers the giver a sense of contentment and fulfillment. For this reason, in our family on Christmas Day, we open one gift at a time; taking time to appreciate the wrapping, the gift itself, and the thoughtfulness of the giver. It's like giving another gift. Twenty years from now, you may forget the gift, but you will remember the giver and the feelings they inspired.
When welcoming others into our homes for the Christmas season, we are welcoming Jesus, too. How many times does the bible talk about Jesus sitting down to eat with his disciples and friends and the people who followed him? It wasn't always convenient for Him, but He never turned anyone away. Shouldn't we also gladly invite and welcome our friends, family, and community to our humble homes in celebration of Jesus' birth? Perhaps this season could be the season for building new relationships or repairing old ones. Keep your celebrations simple and humble. Rejoice in being together and simplify any elaborate traditions that spoil your enjoyment of Christmas.
Shift your thinking and share Christmas this year. Bring Jesus into your shopping, wrapping, and entertaining. Invite Him to the party. After all, He is "the reason for the season." Merry Christmas and God bless each of you!
You will be in our prayers.
Patricia and Doriano Baisi
Canadian eMatrimony Editors
10/10 Questions:
1. Who do I feel uncomfortable giving a gift to? Why? How do I feel sharing this with you?
2. What was the most memorable gift I have ever received? Why? How do I feel about my answer?
3. How can I make choosing gifts a meaningful and more relaxed activity this year? How do I feel about my answer?
4. Should we invite someone to share Christmas with us this year? Whom? How do I feel about my answer?
5. Have I ever "shared" Christmas with anyone? Whom? How do I feel about my answer?
6. Have I forgotten the reason for Christmas: Jesus? How do I feel about my answer?
7. Have our holiday traditions/rituals become so burdensome that it spoils our family togetherness? How do I feel about my answer?
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 Stellar Priest
Father Doug Reed
Father Doug Reed has been encountered for over 35 years and has been actively presenting weekends throughout all of those years. He has touched countless couples with his warm and genuine presentations on those weekends. Fr. Doug's gentle manner and contagious laugh make him highly approachable and couples easily recognize the person of Jesus Christ in him. Currently Fr. Doug is part of the Section 4 Ecclesial team with John and Ann Geer, but he provides guidance to and trialogues with the current NC Leadership couple weekly. Fr. Doug gererously gives his time to Section meetings, Secretariat meetings and Area meetings as well as pastoring a parish and providing pastoral services to a mission parish in the Edenton area. He also makes time for trialogues with past NC leadership couples, current section leadership and community couples to whom he has grown close, demonstrating his ongoing commitment to dialogue. Fr. Doug has also developed strong friendships with clergy members of other faiths in  Edenton in an effort to build understanding. Whatever his activity it does not take long for Fr. Doug to bring up WWME and it's positive impact.
He also likes to paint as we can see in his self-portrait.
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10/10 Dialogue 
How do I feel when we put up Christmas decorations together?
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| Contact Information | | eMatrimony Editors
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