by Jay Block

Consider this scenario: You become angry with your spouse and say something hurtful that you wish you hadn't said. What are the long and short-term consequences of that behavior? What scars did you create and how deep are the wounds? Consider a father who consistently behaves in such a way that his own children are embarrassed by his actions. What are the consequences of that behavior? What permanent damage will be caused? What kind of legacy will this father leave behind?

And what are the consequences when facing a life crisis - like losing a job - of approaching that crisis from a fear-based perspective? We are what we think; and tomorrow's successes or lack of achievement is directly tied to the quality of thoughts you have today.

You see, all your thoughts and actions have consequences - some good and some not so good. When you become aware of the consequences of your negative and fear-based thoughts and emotions, you can dramatically alter them and get through any situation with courage and dignity. You become courageous in the wake of fear; you become a David when facing a Goliath. You'll realize that the consequences of holding on to negative thoughts and emotions are too severe; the price for consuming negative thoughts and emotions is too high a price to pay.

Consequential analysis involves asking two simple questions that lead to life changing and healing- oriented answers:

1) What are the consequences of my thoughts, words, emotions, and deeds?
2) Am I willing to accept that?

Examples

Question: What are the consequences of maintaining a fearful attitude in facing my health issues?
Answer: I'll never heal - or the process will take longer than necessary.

Am I willing to accept that?

Question: What are the consequences of holding on to fear and panic when seeking a new job?
Answer: I'll put my future in jeopardy as well as the welfare of my family.

Am I willing to accept that?

Question: What are the consequences of giving up and not giving life my best shot?
Answer: I'll continue to be an underachiever in my one and only chance at life.

Am I willing to accept that?

Question: What are the consequences of procrastination and NOT taking immediate action?
Answer: I'll fall farther and father behind on my dreams and sabotage my potential.

Am I willing to accept that?

Question: What are the consequences of maintaining a negative and destructive attitude?
Answer: I'll destroy any chances of happiness and fulfillment for myself and my family.

Am I willing to accept that?

Here's the best example I can give you about this powerful technique of consequential analysis. Do you remember the expression, "Don't do the crime if you're not willing to do the time?" That's a prime example of consequential analysis.

Thomas Paine said there're only two emotions that we actually experience in life - emotions that cause pleasure and those that cause pain. Interestingly enough, it seems that most humans tend to be more motivated by avoiding pain than they are in attaining pleasure. Consequential analysis is an exercise that induces self inflicted pain - by evaluating consequences. What I'm saying here is this: If you link more pain to NOT changing your current thoughts, moods, and actions - you'll change. The self-induced pain serves as a catalyst to change your emotional state - before you do something to cause even greater pain, or possibly irrevocable damage that you'll forever regret.

Joan keeps putting off visiting her terminally ill sister in the hospital because it's too painful to see her sister suffer. Joan feels guilty and ashamed - but the fear of seeing her sister is more painful than not seeing her. Then Joan asks herself the question. "What are the consequences I might face by not visiting my sister - and am I willing to accept that?" She answers, "If she dies, I'll always know I never mustered the courage to be by her side; to help her through her last days; and to be a loving sister. I'll always know I let her down. Am I willing to accept that?" After asking these questions, Joan determines that the consequences of NOT visiting her sister are now too severe - too painful. It is now MORE painful NOT to visit her sister. And as a result of consequential analysis, Joan visits her sister in the hospital - and helps them BOTH to heal.

Abraham Lincoln was arguably the greatest President the United States has ever known. Had it not been for him, the United States might have become 2 or possibly 3 separate nations. It would never have attained the prosperity, the growth, the power, or the prominence it currently enjoys. Lincoln is remembered for his vital role as the leader in preserving the Union during the Civil War and initiating the process that led to the end of slavery in the US.

Now, what would have been the consequences had Lincoln not led the nation as he did during those turbulent years? He had every reason to quit and not pursue his calling. He was defeated for State Legislature in 1832. He failed in business in 1833. The love of his life died in 1835. He suffered a nervous breakdown in 1836 and was defeated for Speaker of the House that same year. Though he was elected to Congress in 1846, he lost the re-nomination in 1848. He was defeated for United States Senate in 1854. He was defeated for the nomination for Vice President in 1856 and was again defeated for the Senate in 1858.

Overcoming seemingly impossible odds, he won the Presidency in 1860. One of his most famous quotes was:

"Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing. I can't give up on my dream - the price is too high. My dream is a place and a time where America will once again be seen as the last best hope on earth."

If I had the opportunity to sit down with this great man today and ask him how he kept going in the wake of failure after failure; disappointment after disappointment, I believe he would have said that the consequences of quitting - the consequences of NOT pursing his dreams - would have been more painful than the failures and disappointments he experienced along the way.

If you've been downsized, terminated or are stuck working in a toxic work environment and you link fear, humiliation or hopelessness to your situation; what are the consequences to you and your family if you are not prepared to take massive action to secure a new job? What are the consequences of letting fear, limiting beliefs and a negative attitude suck the life out of you and your family ?

Take a moment and close your eyes. Now picture, in your mind's eye, what your life will be like a month from now; a year from now if you allow fear, anger, and other destructive emotions to stand in the way of your goals and aspirations. Allow yourself to feel the pain, to experience the anguish. In the end, there are two things that motivate us - inspiration and desperation. Yes, inspiration is the first line of attack. But when that doesn't do the trick, we need to give ourselves a dose of desperation - pain. Because, as one client recently said to me, the pain of thinking about being homeless is greater than the pain of calling everyone I know - and asking for a job referral.

In summary, when you face difficult life or health issues, you can overcome fear and make empowered, success-oriented decisions by asking two powerful questions:

1) What are the consequences of my thoughts and actions?
2) Am I willing to accept the consequences?

THE JOYS OF VOLUNTEERING

by Ellen Block

I tossed and turned the night before and really didn't get much sleep. Why did I say I would do this? Am I really committed to this or did I just get caught up in the moment? Sure, I had a couple of hours of training but do I really know what I'm doing? What if someone asks me something and I don't know the answer - but I'm supposed to! Is this really going to make a difference? And I have to be there at 6:30 in the morning!

By this time it was 5:00 am so I rolled over - turned off the alarm which was set for 5:30am and got up. Maybe if I had some coffee I'd feel better! And I did.

Since I had some time I reviewed my training materials one last time - got dressed, kissed my sleeping husband goodbye (and resisted the temptation to hop back in bed beside him) and headed out into the early morning darkness.

Just 20 minutes later I arrived at the North County Supervisor of Elections Office in Palm Beach County Florida to begin my shift as a Florida Voters Rights Protection Attorney during the early voting period - which meant assisting voters with any questions they may have about the voting process, including questions about required identification, voting precincts, and how to actually cast your vote using our new voting scanner machines.

Needless to say, if you were anywhere on this planet during the past TWO elections you know about Palm Beach County and our election follies. We have been the brunt of many jokes (and rightly so) and our collective goal became our mantra throughout the voting process - "Keep Florida out of the National News".

When I arrived at 6:30 am the line was already forming with voters eager to cast their ballots early - either to avoid the anticipated long lines on election day or just plain eager to cast their vote for the candidate of their choice. Whatever the reason, the energy in the group was contagious. And the diversity of the group was notable. These folks, for the most part, were on their way to work, and dressed in a variety of "work clothes" - from the uniforms of the delivery persons, to the "uniform" of business clothes. Despite the diversity, or perhaps because of it, the discussions were lively and passionate about the issues which brought them there at 6:30 am to cast their vote a full week before election day.

I reported to the clerk, Dottie. She was in the "inner sanctum" - the actual voting room. No matter how many times I have voted, I always feel a certain reverence walking into the room where you actually cast your vote. Dottie had been working 12+ hour days for over a week now as had most of the poll workers. But she had the most welcoming smile and was genuinely glad for the assistance we came to offer. At her direction and with the assistance of a very devoted and capable staff the voting process was flawless.

My shift that day was only for 3 hours - and the time flew by. I met so many wonderful people from poll workers, police and sheriff's deputies, secretaries, hairdressers, students, mothers and fathers, grandparents and some very notable individuals who wouldn't want me to put any kind of label on them! And, as always, I received so much more from this volunteer assignment than I could ever have given. I am so very grateful to have had the opportunity to participate in this recent election process (I worked several more shifts in early voting and then a 12 hour shift on Election Day) but not because we were successful in keeping Florida out the national news. I am grateful to all the people who touched my life in this past month in such a meaningful way. The lesson I learned from this: Get out and volunteer whenever you have a chance! If you get all of your information about what is going on in this country from the newspaper, the evening news or the Internet - you are likely ill-informed - like I was; and reluctant to take action on a cause you believe in - thinking it won't make difference - like I was. But when you get out with the people - you become energized - not since my student days of the "60's" have I been prouder to live in this country of incredible opportunity - and even more incredible people.

by Alvah Parker: Alvah Parker is a Practice Advisor (Attorneys' Coach) and a Career Changers' Coach as well as publisher of "Parker's Points"

Carol was a new client. She had been looking for a job for several weeks and wasn't having much success. As with most of my clients I asked her to envision herself working in the job she really wanted. As we talked she was really excited about the possibilities. I really caught her short though when I asked her what she saw happening if she couldn't find this job.

Like many of my clients Carol was reluctant to visit a place of pain. Many clients object to that question saying that they don't want to think negatively. There is so much written today about positive thinking that most of us go around like Pollyannas believing that wishing will make it so. There is however merit in acknowledging the possibility of pain.

A part of the population is very competitive. Winning is a strong value for them. On one of my trips to NY I played checkers with my grandson. When he saw he was losing he hit the board so all the pieces got mixed up. I guess he thought it would be better to have no one win then for him to lose. At least for now he is extremely competitive. Those who are very competitive hate to lose so that they do whatever it takes to "make it happen". (Sometimes at someone else's expense!)

What about the rest of us? I include myself here too because I am not someone who likes winning for its own sake. How can those of us who aren't so fiercely competitive really commit to a goal and make it happen? One way is to visit the negative outcome of not achieving the goal. The more painful the outcome the more motivated you'll be to work toward your goal and away from the pain.

Your vision is something you want to move toward and the negative outcome is something you want to move away from. Sometimes it is the "moving away from" piece that is more motivating than the "moving toward" one.

If you have ever had a manager with a bad temper who screamed at people who didn't do the job the way he/she wanted it done then you understand the motivating power of the "moving away from" outcome. (Think "You're fired" and Donald Trump) Chances are these bosses get the job done but what you really want to do is move away from them. If Carol had a boss like that then she would know that the negative impact of not finding the job she envisioned. She would have to continue working for that boss.

Solo professionals and sales people know that when they are hungry (making their quota literally puts food on the table) they work harder, smarter and faster to accomplish the work. Here you could be working toward the vision of plenty of food or away from an empty table.

So how about you? What are you doing to reach your goals? Do you feel yourself floundering as the year is progressing? Look at your business or career plan. Are you on tthe way toward reaching your goals? If you want to speed up the process consider finding the impact of a negative outcome.

email: ellen@jayblock.com

phone: 561 687-0888

web: http://www.jayblock.com