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The BMX National Gatekeepers  e-Newsletter

SEPTEMBER  16th, 2011
Black Men's Xchange-National

 
In This Week's Gatekeepers Issue
This Friday's BMX-NY Topic:
Internet HOOKUPS & Booty Calls: Is It Just Sex, or A Setup for Failure In Intimacy?
Friday Forum Recap (09|09|11): African-Centered Rites of Passage for Same Gender Loving Men [Part II]
Upcoming Topics: BMX- NY 2011 Fall Calendar
Community Corner Announcements
SGL Black Sheroes:
Jewelle Gomez
The Bawabisi SGL Symbol
About The BMX-NY Chapter...
About The BMX-Baltimore Chapter...
BMX Mission Statement
Black Men's Xchange National Gatekeepers e-Newsletter Archive Homepage

 

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When & Where Are Our Chapter Spaces?
 
BMX-New York Chapter:
730 Riverside Drive
(@150th Street)*
Suite 9E
Harlem, New York 10031
212-283-0219
Website: BMXNY.org 


*PLEASE NOTE:
THE DOOR ENTRANCE IS
LOCATED ON 150th STREET.
Ages 18 and up. 

Time:
8:00 PM - 11:00 PM
(Every Friday night, except for our hiatus month in August)
   
Directions: 
Take the #1 Train to 145th Street or the M4, M5, M101 or M100 to 149th Street & Broadway
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BMX-Baltimore Chapter:

1609 Saint Paul Street*

(Between East Lanvale and East Federal Streets)  

Baltimore, Maryland 21202

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*We are located across the street from the Amtrak train station. Our space is designated by the RED DOOR.Ages 18 and up. 



Time:

6:00 PM - 9:00 PM
(Every Sunday night)


Contact Us

Black Men's Xchange-NY

730 Riverside Drive
Suite 9E
Harlem, New York 10031


Email:
[email protected]
Phone: 212-283-0219

Official BMX-NY Website:
BMXNY.org




=====================


Black Men's Xchange-Baltimore 

1609 Saint Paul Street

Baltimore, Maryland 21202


Email:
[email protected]
Phone:
410-637-3016


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.Welcome To The Black Men's Xchange National Gatekeepers e-Newsletter. This e-newsletter is for the BMX-New York chapter gathering on Friday, September 16th, 2011.


 

Brothers, please if you would take the time and tell us about your experience at a BMX-NY meeting. This is a confidential Survey with no names required. We appreciate your time and comments as we continue to try and make your experience at BMX-NY one of true community.       

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BROTHERS! Although not required, BRINGING A POTLUCK DISH AND/OR BEVERAGE of your choosing would be a generous offering for the repast after the group discussion! Your offering defrays a cost to the organization.  Also, end of gathering DONATIONS are also greatly appreciated, too. THANK YOU!

ACHE!

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BMX- New York  Topic  For  This  Friday,  September 16th,  2011  

Internet HOOKUPS & Booty Calls:

Is It Just Sex, or A Setup for Failure In Intimacy?

 

Facilitated by L. Jett Wilson

 

Slow (poster)   

SLOW (2011)

A 13 Minute Short Film About

Internet Dating With An Unexpected Turn & Expectations 

(VIEW HERE...) 


Is dating important? If so, why?


What, if any, impact might our use of online sex sites have on our dating lives?


What does your online profile say about you?


Would you break up with someone if you found out they were engaging in online and other casual sexual hookups while they were seeing you?

Slow 2

 

Are you more or less likely to engage in risky sexual behavior with an online or anonymous hookup?


Nearly half of all SGL men are HIV+: Are internet hookups contributing to the new incidence of HIV among us?


Does your emotional state determine when, with whom and how you engage in online hookups? i.e., when I'm feeling depressed, lonely, or horny? Might I go to different lengths from one mood to the next? What's at stake?


Follow the $: How are free hookup sites funded? By whom? To what end?


How do you know when a reliance on internet sex sites for sexual gratification has become an addiction or otherwise unhealthy?


How do you feel after having had sex with strangers?


Are we seeking and finding the love we deserve as same gender loving men?

 

     

 

 

JUST A REMINDER THAT NEXT FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 23rd, 2011
WE WILL NOT BE MEETING AT OUR REGULAR SPACE.

 

OUR OUTING IS...

 

Seed (Poster) by Radha Blank 

 

 

NEXT WEEK'S E-NEWSLETTER

WILL HAVE FOLLOW-UP INFO

 

SEE THE

COMMUNITY CORNER ANNOUNCEMENTS 

SECTION OF THIS E-NEWSLETTER BELOW

FOR MORE ON THIS THEATER PRODUCTION 

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

Friday  Forum  Recap

(BMX- NY  Topic  Hi-lites  From  Friday,  September 9th,  2011) 

  

 African-Centered  Rites  of  Passage

For Same Gender Loving Men [Part II]    

      

Facilitated  by  JM  Green    

   

At Friday's BMXNY dialogue, in consideration of the fact that the 5 major African rites of passage involve birth, adulthood, marriage, eldership, and ancestorship, Brothers looked at where we are in relationship to those rites of passage, or their absence...   

  

 

 

African Tribal Painted Warriors 

 

  

 

What is a rite of passage?


"Life transitions..." "[They] allow us to share some of the pain we've experienced...traumas...[They] allow us to learn lessons from [those experiences]..."

{Facilitator says: "Rites of passage are culturally-based rituals designed to facilitate members of the community through the different phases of our lives in order to take our rightful places within, and deliver our respective gifts to the community..."}

"I had a rite of passage when I received my name at an LGBT Kwanzaa [gathering]...Until now, I didn't even realize I had a rite of passage...I was 18 and had just come out...I was a new-bee...They kind of took me under wing...even though my family had forsaken me...It was a rebirth...I am more secure [now]...They allowed me [to be who I am]..."

"There is a connection between entitlement and rites of passage..."

{Facilitator says, "Do you mean we are entitled, as members of the culture or community to be supported by the community through the transitions from one phase or stage [of life] to the next?..."}

"Yes..."

"We're conditioned not to feel entitled to be acknowledged and affirmed as the men we are..."

 

Afrikan Warriors 3 


In the absence of rites of passage specifically geared for men who love men, do we value our lives differently?

 

"In the absence of ceremonies or protocols to acknowledge our coming into our manhood, how do we value our selves?...46% of all Black men who have sex with men are HIV+...Sometimes, we drink the Koolaid [internalize and act out anti-homosexual attitudes]..."


"We definitely need rites of passage so that we can feel the confidence others display...We should also feel privileged..."

"I had some wonderful teachers...I had rites of passage...They all groomed me so I can be the person I am...When African Americans look at the White person [and compare] ourselves, we may devalue ourselves...We do face negative things...[But,] sometimes, when you focus on the negative, we can miss [our accomplishments]...I remember coming out [and] people telling me not to do this and not to do that...But, I did what I felt to do [and I turned out just fine]...We did have rites of passage..."

{Facilitator says, "If you had had a coming out party, that might have been construed as a rite of passage...Cotillions, debutante balls, a.k.a. coming out parties, for instance, are rites of passage to facilitate upper-class girls from childhood into womanhood..."}


"One of the benefits of rites of passage is that it gives you a voice...The prom is a rite of passage..."  

 

Rites of Passage - Boys Through The Passage to Manhood 

New Jersey's S.T.E.P. (Striving Together Equals Progress) Program 

Takes Boys Through The Passage To Manhood 

 

Link: 

To Kill a Lion, Become the Lion:  

The Need for Rites of Passage Programs

 

 

 

Can rites of passage specifically designed for SGL youth prime them for roles of responsibility in the community?


"When I first came here [to BMX-NY] at twenty-four, I met brothers who  helped me realize not to keep the healing process...the information [to myself,] but [to] pass it on to SGL young people whose minds are crying out for something...I passed the message without fear...I realize I've been groomed for that in these spaces...BMX and ADODI...which is why I keep doing the work...Hearing that brothers and sisters are taking their lives...it gives me chills..."


"We're not entitled to anything...We only get what we fight for...[when I was a boy] a White man showed me some pictures of nude men in the Bible and told me nothing was wrong with me and that let me know I was okay..."

"For this thing to be really practical, there needs to be some community effort on behalf of SGL young people like scholarships...something tangible..."

"I think [it's] empowerment as distinct from entitlement [that rites of passage give us]...Empowerment may lead to a sense of entitlement..."

"As a Black man, there are many rites of passage I have never experienced and probably never will...Like the prom...Who are you going [to go] with?...A girl?...you know that whole trauma..."

"[A rite of passage] acknowledges your acceptance into a community...And with that, there comes a set of roles and responsibilities [you will be expected to observe]..."


"Rites of passage refer to a life span...from birth to transition...In Africa [there are] rituals that have been practiced for thousands of years...thousands of years...that have been honed down...As Africans, we're people oriented...In an African-centered rite of passage it's about, 'I see you'...I just came from the Carolinas where everybody said, 'Hi...How you doin?'...The fact that you are is the entitlement...[In the city] a lot of times we don't acknowledge that we are...That's the remnants of slavery...Being a man and manhood have nothing to do with being heterosexual or bisexual or SGL ...Rites of passage are to build people's character...[and to remind us that] I am because we are...It took thousands [and thousands, and thousands] to make me..."

"[The idea of] a sense of entitlement was something that was hard for me to hear for a long time...I am not there any more...Rites of passage are in stages...One is taking off, and one is a landing...[One is about] I see you and I acknowledge you...Whatever it is you are, go ahead and do what you have come here to do...[such that] little girls who were bar mitzvahed will know that a man is supposed to bring them a diamond ring when they want to marry her...In Africa, there are circles of men in which they let you know what you can do...How far your muscles can flex...That is the nest...The landing is, 'you dare dream of yourself doing something we never envisioned you doing?...The landing is your responsibility [to yourself and to the community]...This trust that I have in myself [that I can observe my purpose]...This faith...The reason [why] it is very important for us to be here and do this work..."   

 

 

Are there rites of passage that could ease the transition of growing older in the SGL community?


"I'm in an anti-aging program...I [revel] in the things I don't know..."

"Often times, when SGL people come out, they're kicked out of their families...Are there [rites of passage we can create to support them?..."

{Facilitator says, "We have among us people who have studied rituals including indigenous rituals, with whom we are going to create rituals to honor ourselves and facilitate us through the phases of our lives..."}

"We do have rites of passage...Even if there is not one in the room, we learn to focus on White people...That's a rite of passage...If we don't contrast ourselves to them, we are seen as strange...That's a rite of passage...Another is [always] remembering we were slaves...Bullshitting ourselves is another rite of passage...[In fact,] slavery made our lives easier...When [all] you have to [do is] get up, go to the field and come back, life is easier..."

[Facilitator says, "Those social patters you refer to like contrasting ourselves to white people are dysfunctional adaptations many of us have learned as a function of our enslavement, but they are not rites of passage...For rites of passage, not only would we not feel so compelled to contrast ourselves with others, but we would have a clearer sense of what we're here for, and a stronger sense of community by which to support each other's doing what we're here to do..."}

"I was confronted in a circle and had to name my ancestors...[I] had to name seven to nine generations...I was stumped...I had bought into the idea that, because we were slaves there was no way we could know who our ancestors were...But, it was also because I felt shame about the little family tree I did know about...[But, you can] begin a rite of passage by finding out how many generations [you can identify]...A reason [we] don't want to talk about it is shame...[But,] you have to acknowledge [there are people] beyond yourself...I got initiated this year in Nigeria in Ifa...It was life changing..."

"African Americans are not ungrateful...We achieved what we did through blood, sweat and tears...By giving up our lives...Slavery is not necessarily over...The mental aspect...It's not over...If I am talking about slavery [it's] because it's indelible...it's not over...I am going to compare Black and White...They're different...Look at the life spans...They're different...They [take for granted] things we're denied...I am going to compare Black and White..."


"If you say that African Americans are ungrateful, you've been duped because you've been trained to see yourself as 'other'...Contrasting ourselves with White people [is a waste of energy] life is not fair...Whoever told you life was fair was lying to you... Slavery is not indelible...stamped on us...Entitlement is looking at the stamp and saying, 'No'...Entitlement is being clear about what is and moving forward..."

"There's a lot of misplaced anger..."

{Facilitator says, "Also, no doubt, the result of the absence of rites of passage...which again, is why, moving forward, we are going to conceive rites of passage by which we will acknowledge each other, each other's gifts and facilitate each other towards identifying and giving our gifts"...} 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Upcoming  Topics:  BMX- NY  2011  Fall  Calendar          

(PLEASE NOTE THAT TOPICS ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE;
WEEKLY E-NEWSLETTERS WILL REFLECT ANY NEW CHANGES)

             

 

Friday, September 23rd, 2011  

"SEED" by Radha Blank  

(play outing - venue and time to follow)

 

 Seed (Poster) by Radha Blank

 

 

Friday, September 30th, 2011

NO ROOM AT THE INN: The Marginalization of Same Gender Loving Youth (Facilitated by Kyle Doyle)

   

 

Friday, October 7th, 2011

Growing Older and Thriving in the SGL Community

(Facilitated by L. Jett Wilson and Eugene)

 


Friday, October 14th, 2011

Film Screening: "CLASSIFIED X" (1998) The Depiction of Blacks in Film

[Written & Produced by Melvin Van Peebles; Directed by Mark Daniels]    (Facilitated by JM Green)

 

 Classified X (poster)


 

SEE EXTENDED CALENDAR...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Community  Corner  Announcements


The Classical Theatre of Harlem

&

Hip-Hop Theater Festival   

 

Presents

 

The World Premiere of  

 

SEED

 

A New Play By Radha Blank

 

Directed by Niegel Smith

 

 

Seed (Poster) by Radha Blank

 

 

"The streets grow you son"

- Chee-Chee

 

 

Burnt-out social worker Anne Colleen Simpson decides to write a book detailing the child welfare case that brought her acclaim. But when Chee-Chee, a gifted ten-year-old from the last "projects" in Anne's gentrified neighborhood collides into her life, she is forced to confront the shadows of her past. As an unconventional friendship brews between Anne and Chee-Chee, his young mother Latonya becomes threatened, leading to an explosive encounter.

 

 

This compelling new drama presented by Classical Theater of Harlem, insightfully examines the class an cultural fault lines that exist in one of New York's most prominent Black communities.

 

 

Featuring:

 

Bridgit Antoinette Evans 

 

Nikiya Mathis 

 

Tremayne Rollins 

 

Warner Miller

 

Pernell Walker

 

 

September 6th - October 9th, 2011 

 

Wednesday - Sunday @ 8:00PM

 

Saturday @ 2:00PM & 8:00PM 

 

Sunday @ 3:00PM & 8:00PM  

 

 

Dr Barbara Ann Teer's

National Black Theatre

 

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2033 5th Avenue (between 125th & 126th Streets)
 Harlem, New York City

 

Directions: Take the 2, 3, 4, 5, or 6 trains to 125th Street

 

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FOR TICKETS & INFO  

Go to www.seedtheplay.com 

 

or call 866-811-4111

 

Tickets $20 - $48

 

Group Tickets Avaialble:

Call 718-492-4282 or Email: GROUPS[at]HHTF.ORG

 

SEED





SGL  Black  Sheroes 


Jewelle Gomez  (1948  -  ) 

 

 

Jewelle Gomez 2Jewelle Gomez, born 1948 in Boston, Massachusetts, is a writer and activist and the author of the double Lambda Award-winning novel, THE GILDA STORIES from Firebrand Books. Her adaptation of the book for the stage "Bones & Ash: a Gilda Story," was performed by the Urban Bush Women company in 13 U.S. cities.  The script was published as a Triangle Classic by the Paperback Book Club.

   

She is the recipient of a literature fellowship from the National Endowment for the Arts; two California Arts Council fellowships and an Individual Artist Commission from the San Francisco Arts Commission.

 

Jewelle Gomez 1Her fiction, essays, criticism and poetry have appeared in numerous periodicals. Among them: The San Francisco Chronicle, The New York Times, The Village Voice; Ms Magazine, ESSENCE Magazine, The Advocate, Callaloo and Black Scholar. Her work has appeared in such anthologies as HOME GIRLS, READING BLACK READING FEMINIST, DARK MATTER and the OXFORD WORLD TREASURY OF LOVE STORIES.

   

She has served on literature panels for the National Endowment for the Arts, the Illinois Arts Council and the California Arts Council.

   

She was on the original staffs of "Say Brother," one of the first weekly, Black television shows in the U.S. (WGBH-TV, Boston) and "The Electric Company" (Children's Television Workshop, NYC) as well as and on the founding board of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD).  She was an original member of the boards of the Astraea Foundation and the Open Meadows Foundation.

   

Jewelle Gomez - The Gilda Stories Cover Her first novel, THE GILDA STORIES, celebrates its 20th year in print in 2011 with readings at the Museum of the African Diaspora and at the Queer Arts Festival.  Her other publications include three collections of poetry: THE LIPSTICK PAPERS (1980) and FLAMINGOES AND BEARS (1986), both self published and ORAL TRADITION from Firebrand Books (1995). She edited (with Eric Garber) a fantasy fiction anthology entitled SWORDS OF THE RAINBOW (Alyson Publications (1996) and selected the fiction for THE BEST LESBIAN EROTICA OF 1997 (Cleis).

   

She is also the author a book of personal and political essays entitled FORTY-THREE SEPTEMBERS (Firebrand Books 1993) and a collection of short fiction, DON'T EXPLAIN (Firebrand Books 1997).

 

Jewelle Gomez - The Gilda Stories (Bones & Ash Cover)

She has presented lectures and taught at numerous institutions of higher learning including San Francisco State University, Hunter College, Rutgers University, New College of California, Grinnell College, San Diego City College, The Ohio State University and the University of Washington (Seattle).

   

Formerly the executive director of the Poetry Center and the American Poetry Archives at San Francisco State University she has also worked in philanthropy for many years.  She is the former director of the Literature program at the New York State Council on the Arts and the director of Cultural Equity Grants for the San Francisco Arts Commission.  She is currently the director of Grants and Community Initiatives for Horizon and the President of the San Francisco Library Commission.

    

Jewelle Gomez 3 (and Grandma)

 

Her new projects include a comic novel about black activists of the 1960s as they face middle age entitled Televised.  Her new play, written in collaboration with Harry Waters Jr. is called Waiting for Giovanni. A dream play exploring the inner life of author James Baldwin, it has its world premiere at the New Conservatory Theatre Center in the Fall of 2011.

 

 

Jewelle Gomez's Official Website:

  

Jewelle Gomez Banner  

jewellegomez.com 

 

 

 

 

 

    
The Bawabisi SGL Symbol

Bawabisi SGL Symbol (Partial Transparency)

The SGL symbol, the Bawabisi, is inspired by Nigerian Nsibidi script and West African Adrinkra symbols. The two facing semi-circles represent unity and love. The figure has been split symmetrically in half to suggest parts of a whole that mirror each other. Dots are often used in Adinkra symbols to represent commitment and pluralism. The split and dots, with the addition of color, suggest the concept of gender. The circle encompassing the figure reinforces the idea of connectedness despite duality, suggesting the idea of two-spirited.





About  The  BMX- NY  Chapter...
 
  



THE BLACK MEN'S XCHANGE - NEW YORK (BMX-NY) was founded in Harlem in 2002 and is a gathering for same gender loving (SGL) and bisexual Black men to powerfully and respectfully address issues that impact their lives, and to connect with one another in a positive, affirming, nurturing and transformational environment. Ages 18 and up.

BMXNY.org 

 



About  The  BMX- Baltimore  Chapter...
 
  
Young BMX-Baltimore Bruthaz 1


THE BLACK MEN'S XCHANGE - BALTIMORE was founded in 2008 to provoke critical thinking; to teach Black men how to unlearn internalized oppression, and to give Black men the tools to deal with these issues. Ages 18 and up.

  

 



BMX  Mission  Statement

BMX Logo (Black)
THE BLACK MEN'S XCHANGE (BMX) was founded in 1989 by activist, writer and behavioral health expert Cleo Manago, as an instrument of healing and empowerment for same gender loving (SGL) and bisexual African descended men. The mission of the Black Men's Xchange (BMX) is to affirm, heal, educate, unify and promote well-being and critical thinking among Black people - 18 and up - diverse in sexuality, class, culture and philosophy.  Black Men's Xchange (BMX) conducts activities that promote healthy self-concept, sexual health, constructive decision making, and cultural affirmation among same-gender-loving (SGL), bisexual and heterosexual Black populations. BMX affirms and educates Black men (and the community at-large) while providing tools for self-determination, community responsibility, self-actualization and the prevention of health threats (e.g. HIV, isolation, substance and other addictions, and mental instability). BMX creates an environment that advances Black culture and involves identifying and unlearning ingrained anti-homosexual and anti-black male and female conditioning.

 

BMX is built on a philosophy that embraces same gender loving experience as intrinsic to everyday Black life.  Integral to BMX's approach is the understanding that, in order to decrease internal and external anti-homosexual thinking, and demystify differences around diverse ways of living and loving Black people must engage in supportive dialogue with each other and the community.

 

At BMX we believe that self-determination is crucial in achieving success toward healing and empowerment.  We understand that our cultural and experiential uniqueness requires a uniquely focused and precise approach.  Affirming strategies born out of our own experience is powerful; hence, the adoption of the terms, Black, African American and Same Gender Loving (SGL).

 

The Term Same Gender Loving (SGL)... 

 

READ MORE...  

 

   

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The Black Men's Xchange-New York And Our Allies At The Millions More Movement (MMM) In Washington, DC
(October 15th, 2005) 
 
 

 

 





 
 

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