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Family Get Togethers:
A Learning Opportunity For Kids
The holiday season is here. Family get-togethers provide the perfect opportunity for kids to learn about their family's history, of their sense of belonging to important groups- none more important than family- and of their learning lifelong values from the adults they trust.
Family get-togethers provide times for bonding, for fun, for telling stories, for sharing, and for showing acceptance, generosity, kindness, and affection. Kids need to see this, to be a part of it, and to learn what being a family member entails.
Family get-togethers don't have to be big deals that cause stress. Instead, they can be joyful times when kids get to be with relatives they don't get to see often enough, when their regular routines, like bedtime, are stretched a little, and when they feel involved in family fun.
Here are some things kids can do for family get-togethers. They'll feel useful, involved, and a part of something important and lasting.
Interview relatives. A great way to learn family history. Work with kids ahead of time, and tell them who's going to be at the event. Clarify where these folks fit in the family. Suggest some topics kids will be interested in and relatives will be comfortable talking about. For older relatives, encourage kids to ask about family stories and history.
Build relationships. Kids love to learn about how they fit in the family, their cousins, their uncles and aunts. This is especially true of adopted kids, who are curious about the folks who welcomed them into their family. Show kids how to draw a simple family tree.
Help with the invitations. If it's one of those family gatherings where invitations are appropriate, have the kids participate. Relatives love to get child-drawn-and- written cards from beloved nieces, nephews, and grandchildren. Let the kids design, draw, color, and write the contents. Depending on their age and handwriting, let them address the envelopes, too. If you're inviting folks electronically, kids can play a hand here, too.
Help with the planning. Give kids simple tasks to keep them involved instead of just staying out of the way. Ask for their thoughts and suggestions. "A cook-out would be fun, don't you think?" Or, "What about horseshoes? Wouldn't that be unusual?" Yes, planning is important, but if kids see you stressing out, they'll feel it, too.
Help with decorating. Given the right direction, kids will feel great about creating hand-made table decorations, drawings of family that can hung around the house, and inventive signs that greet people hospitably. "Welcome to our home." Or, "Mom made the potato salad. It's my favorite!" Or, "Young cousins, games and toys downstairs."
Help with the menu. Kids have their favorites, so let them suggest dishes that they think their young cousins will enjoy. Also, stretch their thinking a little with some suggestions for the older folks. If you're really feeling adventuresome, take them to the grocery store to help you shop and look for good values.
Document in writing, photographs, video. Let the kids be the documentarians, taking pictures, videos, and notes of what's happening. Put these together in a real-life or on-line album for everyone to share afterwards. Someone can be camera person, another narrator, another interviewer. Trade jobs periodically.
Be ready with interesting conversation. sometimes it's hard for kids to feel comfortable with people they haven't seen for a long while. Help your kids- especially the shy ones- to be ready with things to talk about. School, hobbies, favorite games, interesting friends, favorite music, cool vacation memories, and fun teachers. Also, help them think up some conversation-encouraging questions to help them break the ice.
Look forward. Don't overdo it, but let kids know how much you're looking forward to seeing the family. Tell funny stories from your youth. Play up the positive aspects of everyone's personalities. Share stories of the things you've learned- your love of learning, your religious beliefs, your moral compass, your sense of fun- from family members.
Enjoy the holiday season! |
