During her eighth grade year, some "friends," of a young lady in a local high school decided she needed a boy in her life. So, they created a social networking page and an imaginary, "cyber boy" that expressed interest in her. For over three years they led her to believe she was chatting and interacting with a boy her age that appeared to be interested in her. While this person did not really exist, her "friends" produced a social networking website, an e-mail account, and other convincing evidence leading this young lady to believe she was actually communicating with an individual who was developing feelings, and caring about her. Recently a new female student moved into the school and through this young lady, she became aware of the "game." Now a sophomore, she is in counseling having a very hard time getting through the school year; she was devastated.
This is just one from a list of many recent stories I have heard, where people were bullied, manipulated, harassed, misled, or demeaned through the Internet. It happens at home, in schools, organizations and the workplace. No one is immune. In one instance a teacher was publicly ridiculed by a small number of her students on a website that allows anyone to rate their parents, teachers, or classmates. Mean, insulting, and outright lies circulate the Internet for the sole purpose of damaging the reputations, and lives of those they impact on a daily basis.
With all of the recent news regarding bullying, I anticipate numerous one hour, and half day, one shot training programs to be developed to raise awareness and teach potential responses to bullying and other social issues. While most one shot programs are great for raising awareness, my concern is that many schools, businesses, and organizations will engage in this approach thinking it adequately addresses the problem. It is an easier, cheaper (in the short run) approach than adequately addressing the causes, and remediating the underlying problems. However, bullying, substance abuse, violence, and many other issues cannot adequately be addressed by simply implementing a one shot training program. Awareness is necessary, but it is most often not enough. We, often provide these services, but encourage those we work with to go beyond training, involving a more comprehensive approach.
Overly simplistic solutions, cannot address complex problems. Often they are applied because:
1. There is an individual at hand that someone knows that provides this
service;
2. It is quick and easy; and,
3. It provides a sense or relief for the organization because "they have
done something".
Let me offer you an alternative. Simple answers are great for simple problems, but complex issues need adequately comprehensive solutions. If a rock is blocking the stream; move the rock, don't divert the stream. However, if it is a huge boulder causing intermittent flooding, debris to clog the stream, and inhibiting of water traffic, we need to develop a more in-depth plan. In organizations, responses don't necessarily have to be complex; but they do need to be applied long enough (duration) to make sure changes stick, and enough energy (intensity to overcome inertia) to make significant change. A shift in behaviors temporarily allows us to revert back to where we started. A change, is a shift in behavior supported over enough time to make it stick, and with enough energy that the shift becomes permanent. That is change! It is also why 30-day diets don't work.
Addressing the current climate, culture, and behavior, of any environment requires a significant and sustaining effort to make a lasting difference. Without it, you tend to continue recycling previous efforts without a real resolution. Like the old '70 saying, "those who don't remember and learn from the past, are destine to repeat it." Maybe we can't make a difference for that young lady in the counselor's office, but we can make it less likely to happen again. As the old Fram Oil Filter commercial use to say, "pay me now, or pay me later." Maybe we have short memories! The future we will live in, is made in the choices we make today!
Be well,
John
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