NEXT RACE SIGNUPS:   

The South (CMP), 22-23 Sept (late apps only)

Texas (MSR Houston), 29-30 Sept (late apps only)

Chicago (Autobahn), 13-14 Oct (VERY FEW late apps only)

Northeast (Loudon NH),  27-28 Oct (apply by 18 Aug)  

LeMons Stymied by Lack of New Hampshire Jokes        

With few hackneyed stereotypes available, smartypants series struggles to meet mockery quota. 

Loudon NH--Organizers of LeMons' Northeast Halloween Hooptiefest (at NHMS on 27-28 Oct, signups due August 18th) concede that a lack of New Hampshire stereotypes could cause a serious shortfall of cheap shots and fun-poking around the event. "We've tried several angles," says LeMons CMO (Chief Mockery Officer) Brad 'Frankie' Carnitas, "including Yankee rednecks, maple syrup, live free or die, Buchanan for President, the Old Man Who Fell Off the Mountain...nobody cares."  

Most LeMons press releases utilize childish gags based on hackneyed racial or geographic cliches, such as fat Southern sheriffs or tofu-eating Californians. However, trial spams about stoic New Hampshire farmers who'd only eat pie with a knife tested poorly and were quickly abandoned. "The fact is," notes Carnitas, "the Northeast Corridor is always a challenge: Once you've poked fun at unintelligible Manhattan cab drivers and upstate-Maine lumberjacks who enjoy coitus with bears, you're kinda tapped out." 

Should local joke scarcities continue, LeMons' may offshore its shallow, race-pitching email production to India. Meanwhile, apps for LeMons' Northeast Halloween Hooptiefest (27-28 October @ New Hampshire Motor Speedway) are due August 18th: Just apply online here or see more details here.