Juli Monroe
1 to 1 Discovery
571-220-1891
juli_monroe@yahoo.com
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Greetings!
A few months ago I responded to a
question on Linked In about the "perfect follow up strategy."
And then the next day a client asked me "Do I have to send out
Christmas cards? I got a bunch yesterday, and I sort of feel like I
should."
Maybe it's the coach in me. Most of the
good coaches I know have an informal quest to eliminate the word
"should" from their native language. But I do shudder
when someone asks me if they "should" do something.
There are some basic principles to
networking: meeting new people, building relationships, effective
follow up, having a clear message. But there are no "right"
or "wrong" ways to apply these principles. There are only
ways that are more or less effective for each networker.
Want to be effective and not feel like you "should?" Read on.
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"Should" Ought to be a Four Letter Word
Take the two examples above, the
"perfect follow up strategy" and sending Christmas cards.
There were a lot of responses to the
"perfect" strategy that involved handwritten cards. Now,
handwritten cards are very effective. They are certainly a good way
to follow up. But they are only one piece of an overall follow up
strategy. And they aren't appropriate for everyone. What if you have
horrible handwriting, so bad that no one can read what you have
written? Or you are blind? Does your lack of ability to write cards
make you automatically ineffective as a networker? No, of course,
not. You just develop and implement different strategies, which will
be all the more effective for you because you can actually do them
without suffering.
Same with Christmas cards. Some people
love them, spend months planning their cards, assembling their lists
and writing personal messages in each card. That love comes, and those
cards are saved, cherished and shared. The client I mentioned above
does not celebrate Christmas. If she sends out cards, she will be doing
it perfunctorily, and that will come across. Who saves or remembers
cards with a standard message and a computer-generated signature?
More importantly, the time she spends sending cards will take away
from other activities she enjoys. I would rather see people spend
their time in a potentially less effective activity they love than the
"most effective" activity that they hate. Let's be honest.
We know when someone is doing something out of love or out of duty.
And which do we remember? Right. The labors of love.
Which leads to another point. Don't do
anything you really don't like! That can be a dangerous piece of
advice, so let me clarify. When you begin to make changes in your
networking strategy, you are going to have to move out of your
comfort zone. After all, if everything you are comfortable with is
working well, there would be no need to change. Moving out of your
comfort zone can be scary. It may mean doing things you don't like.
But as you get more comfortable with the new activities, you may find
that the thing you hated at first ends up being a lot of fun.
For example, I used to hate evening
networking mixers. The venues are often
loud and crowded, and I usually had a hard time finding the people I want to meet with. But I need to work them, if for no better reason
than I need to be able to advise my clients how to work them
effectively. Hard to do if you've never done it yourself. So I forced
myself out of my comfort zone and went to them. I did all the things
I had advised my clients: set goals, talked to new people, etc. And
guess what? They aren't so bad. They still aren't my most favorite
or effective way to network, but I can do them. And I have made some
very good connections. I would have missed those great
connections if I hadn't talked myself into moving out of my comfort
zone.
That said, I do them as little as
possible. There are other ways of networking that I enjoy far more.
And I pick the events that are likely to be most productive for me. I don't just do
them because I "should."
It's okay for you to do the same.
Just because someone tells you "Hey, this is great. You should
do it too" doesn't mean you have to. Give it a fair try. If it
works, continue it. If it doesn't, stop. The minute networking
becomes a "chore" is the minute you will give it up.
And that would be too bad. Networking
is the best source of job security I have ever found. So stop
worrying about the right or wrong way to do it. Do what works for
you. Try something new every so often, but mostly just do it.
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 Challenge Check In
How are you doing with the challenge I sent last month? Do you remember my challenge? Quick recap. For the next month, when you hear yourself say "I can't" stop and reflect for a
moment. Think of two ways that you "can do" what you just said you can't. See
what kind of difference it makes in yourself.
Remember, anyone who accepts my challenge and sends me the results will be entered into a drawing for a $25 Starbucks gift card.
Drinking good coffee (or tea) is a networking "should" almost anyone can go along with.
Please forward this newsletter to anyone who might need the information, or my services.
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