How is Networking Like Dating?
Think about the last time you were in a new relationship. You met someone new, perhaps at a party. You spoke for a few minutes, learning enough about each other to decide if it was worth getting together again. You decided it was, so you planned a meeting, perhaps over lunch or coffee.
Before the meeting, you wondered. Would it work out? Do you have anything in common? Will you want to get together again?
The meeting happened. Conversation flowed. You find that you have a lot in common. It was a lot of fun. Let's do it again, you both say. And, oh, by the way, here are some referrals I can work on for you.
Referrals? Did you think I was describing a first date? Well, in a way, I was. A first meeting to build a business relationship can look very much like a first date. Neither of you know quite what to expect. Will you have enough in common to deepen and develop the relationship?
And that's where dating tends to get it right and networking gets it wrong. Deepening the relationship.
A lot of people get out there to meet people, perhaps schedule a single follow-up meeting and then expect that referrals will just happen. Perhaps by magic. But when we date, do we meet just the one time? No. If there is good chemistry, we meet again and again, learning more each time.
Business relationships also need that kind of nurturing. If you aren't first in your network's mind, you won't be the person to get the referrals.
How do you deepen and maintain the relationship? There are lots of ways. Here are just a few:
Pass referrals
Meet for coffee
Create a newsletter (like this one!)
Remember birthdays
Pass along interesting information useful to their business
Invite them to accompany you to networking events
As you can see, there are lots of ways to keep in touch and deepen a relationship. If you wouldn't see Mr. or Mrs. Right just once, then don't do it to your strongest referral partners!
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