Come on. Be honest with yourself. You've seen this person before.

He (or she) is the one you go out of your way to avoid at a networking event. He runs up to everyone who doesn't run away first, stack of cards in hand, practically shoving one at everyone whose hand is free, and even those whose aren't. He talks all about himself and the wonderfulness of himself and his company. He doesn't ask a single question about you. Not even the most basic one, "What's your name?"

And what do you do with his card? Throw it away, of course! Why would you keep the card of someone who doesn't understand the first thing about building business relationships?

Don't be a networking horror! Networking is not about collecting the most business cards. Or the most connections on LinkedIn.

Networking is about building relationships. Strong relationships that last. It's not and can't be about keeping score or acquiring the most contacts. How likely is the networking horror to build a relationship with you or anyone else? Not likely. First impressions really do matter, and that first impression is not good.

So what should you do instead when you meet new contacts? How do you get them to take your card and want to meet with you again?

It's very simple. Who is the person we most want to talk about? Ourselves! So if you want to develop a reputation as a great convesationalist and generally cool person to be around, use your ears, not your mouth. Ask your new contact what he or she does. And pay attention to the answers. Listen for needs. Everyone is standing in the middle of a referral. The key is recognizing them. When you hear a need, think about whether you know someone who can answer it. Is your contact looking for a vendor? For home renovations? For a mentor? If you can provide an answer to the need, you are beginning a relationship that can last a business lifetime.

Not hearing a need? Not a problem. Here's a great question: "How can I recognize a good client for you?" You might need to probe for the answer. Since we don't get asked that question often, if ever, we don't always know how to answer it. But if you can take that information and use it to find a client, you have assured yourself a permanent place in their address book, and maybe even on speed dial.

Okay, so collecting good karma is all well and good, but what's in it for you? If the person gets it even a little bit, he will give you the opportunity to talk about yourself. And perhaps even give you the opening to educate on how to find a good client for you.

The time for horror was last month. This month it's time to begin building the relationships to make every day feel like Christmas.