Today I shall perform as if it were the only
day for which I will always be remembered.
From time to time, this column makes a case for neuroscience: the power that's embedded in our brain and our uncanny ability to "trick" our sub-conscious. Behaviorists know, for example, that through vividly and repeatedly associating unbearable and immediate pain with old, unwanted behavior, while associating immediate sensations of pleasure and success with new positive behavior, one can reverse a negative pattern. The brain, for all its logic and processing capacity, cannot tell the difference between what is real and that which is constantly replayed in our mind. Through this understanding we kick over the traces of the conventional belief that "People act in a certain way because of how they feel." It's quite the opposite: people feel a certain way because of how they act. Consider these mental stimulants:
*Decide what you really want and what's standing in the way of getting it. It sounds simple but it's not. The key phrase "really want" is the mainspring.
*Bring leverage to your thinking; associate significant disappointment with not changing now. Visualize massive pleasure with immediate change for the better.
*The only way most people enter a change-action is to create a vision of urgency that's so intense they're compelled to follow through. Many of us never get to that vision.
*For most of us change is not a question of capability. Instead, it's almost always a question of personal commitment to alter our lives. Real change isn't easy.
*The first step to making a significant change in one's life where it desperately needs changing lies in deciding what we most want. In order for a dream to come true,you must first have one.
The reason attempts to change negatives in our lives fall short of the goal is because our association with the level of pain for not changing lacks the intensity to match the need to do it. We continue to practice a negative or destructive behavior because we haven't brought enough stimuli to our sub-conscious so as to move us toward what we picture. For example, if we decide to stop smoking but fail to attach an immediate negative image to our current condition, we'll never change. Maybe you've experienced a personal or professional relationship in which you've told yourself, "Sure, I'm unhappy now, but what if I leave this relationship and still don't find something better? I'll just stick here until something changes."
The fear of failure is ten times greater than the anticipation of gain. This is the pathos that keeps us stuck in neutral over our life and career. Yet one of the strongest forces embedded in the human soul is the quest to improve self-esteem. Find the power you have, however suppressed by past frustrations. Change what you know must change...because you can.
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