The first year should be wonderful and happily ever after; however, the first year isn't always bliss and our storybook expectations soon disappear. In my first year of marriage, I was expecting my husband to be and do the things that I imagined my dream man would do. When I thought about a happy marriage, I had such idealistic visions and dreams of someone who would adore me, say pleasing things to make me feel good, and shower me with gifts and love. However, the more I learned about my husband that first year; I discovered that his flaws and shortcomings overshadowed my dreams. That first year would become a realistic eye-opener. As I critiqued and judged him, I wondered "is this really the man I prayed for," but I chose to stick it out.

 

You may also have similar feelings as year one moved to year two, three, four, five, or more¾ your memories and experiences begin to build and add pressure to the existence of the marriage. In the beginning, you combine your finances and take on new responsibilities. Also your families merge which can be more difficult for some couples than others. And you find out things about your significant other that may be quite surprising. For some, the love-making may be good, but the self discovery and 'him' discovery can be very painful. And for others, the intimacy, conversations, and relationship of that first year are all a blur.

 

Very early, you discover the reality that you are married to a real, imperfect human being who smells, snores, does not always talk or say exactly what you want to hear coupled with some other annoying habits. You may also discover that your spouse is sometimes selfish, rude, doesn't really understand you, and he may even expect you to complete most of the responsible affairs by yourself. Although he may be tall and handsome, "the real guy" needs some work. God forbid, his bad habits may still include drinking and hanging out with the guys, watching naked women on the internet, never cleaning-up after himself, spending too much money on frivolous items, not helping you with the important decisions, and a host of other habits that may irritate and cause conflict in your union. During this realistic wake-up moment, some women decide they want a divorce because it's going to take too much work. Or some end the marriage prematurely, because they assume they married the wrong person or it's built upon a lie.  

 

Read more of this breathless article online.  

  

The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

Why You Act The Way You Do by Tim LaHaye

Boundaries by Dr. Henry Townsend

I Kissed Dating Goodbye, A New Attitude Toward Romance and Relationships by Joshua Harris

Love Dare by Alex Kendrick and Stephen Kendrick

Friendship For Grown-ups: What I Missed Along the Way by Lisa Whelchel

Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas

How to Be A Best Friend Forever by John Townsend

The First Born Advantage by Dr. Kevin Lehman

The Christian Girls Guide to Friendship! by Kathy Widenhouse

Dr. Nataline:  Have you been feeling sad, angry, or down?
Have you experienced any major losses recently? Are you menopausal? 
Oftentimes, feelings of depression can be a sign of something  physical. People may suffer from chemical imbalances, thyroid 
challeneges, or other physical problems and experience  similar  symptoms of tiredness and hopelessness. If you have answered yes to  one or more of the questions, I would suggest making an appointment  with your primary physican to bring up your concerns. If your symptoms  are not caused by internal factors, you can look at the external 
factors. Your symptoms can be signs of depression.

One definition of depression is a mental disorder representing with  loss of pleasure or interest, feelings of low selfesteem or guilty,  depressed mood, disturbed appetite or sleep, lack of concentration or  low energy. Whether what you are experiencing is physical, emotional,  or mental, you should seek help immediately. If your medical doctors  has ruled out physical contributors, I suggest that you consult or make an appointment with a mental health expert.

To reach out to Dr. Nataline, email her at natawood@yahoo.com or find her on Facebook.
 

Don't be Cruel...

tameka c. horton

 

It has been a few weeks since the death of one of music's greatest jewels, Whitney Houston, rocked the world. As people were stunned over her unpredicted death, the facts of her drug addiction seemed to loom over her musical legacy.

 

As numerous articles and tributes flooded the news and social media outlets, and many of us tried to grasp this reality, it wasn't until the funeral on Saturday that I had a moment that connected my life to hers. The moment that tugged at my heart strings were the clips about Bobby Brown, his children and his "incident" at the funeral.

 

Although the songs were beautiful and the words spoken were touching, I could not stop thinking about how being a part of a blended family can create such drama during these types of events. Perhaps the most troubling question for me is whether there is certain etiquette for blended family at a funeral?

 

Being a part of a blended family brings along its own set of challenges and experiences, but what is the appropriate way to handle life events like funerals, weddings, graduations, and family reunions? Was Bobby wrong for leaving the funeral without causing a scene because he and his children (who are still family to Houston and Brown's daughter) could not sit with Bobbi Kristina? Was the family wrong for denying him the opportunity to console his daughter during this time?

 

Read more of Winded online.