| "I'll Get To That Later" |
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Procrastination is a common self-sabotage behavior. Procrastination refers to the deferment of actions or tasks to a later time. Psychologists often cite such behavior as a mechanism for coping with the anxiety associated with starting and/or completing any task or decision. As Life Coaches, we see it as a significant behavioral roadblock to the setting and reaching of goals.
Answers.com documents this about procrastination: "traditionally, procrastination has been associated with perfectionism, a tendency to negatively evaluate outcomes and one's own performance, intense fear and avoidance of evaluation of one's abilities by others, heightened social self-consciousness and anxiety, recurrent low mood, and workaholism."
According to It's About Time by Dr. Linda Sapadin, there are six types of procrastination with which a person can struggle. The styles are The Perfectionist, The Crisis-Maker, The Dreamer, The Defier, The Worrier and The Overdoer.
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| Strategic Living
10% Vision, 90% Alignment |
Greetings!
WE ARE OUR OWN JAILOR!
Tom Paterson made that statement and it really stuck with me. Years later, these words still pack a powerful punch as we coach others in overcoming "roadblocks". Roadblocks are those things that slow us down or prevent us from moving forward in freedom. Sounds familiar, right? But, did you know that a large percentage of any one person's roadblocks originate from that person's own behaviors or responses?
One of the main roadblocks we come across is that of "self-sabotage". Self-sabotage is when we deliberately subvert forward progress; we act in such a way that we hamper or hurt ourselves. But why would anyone do that?
Oftentimes, we self-sabotage out of fear. When moving forward requires changing, growing, making different conscious choices...it's frightening! And, that fear often causes us to short circuit the process involved in forward movement.
 Self-sabotage is not a one-time event. It is a cycle that repeats itself over and over as the diagram above illustrates.
In this issue, we will take a look at a few common self-sabotage behaviors.
I developed this newsletter because I'm passionate about helping organizations and individuals a.) Understand their strengths b.) Have a vision and plan that maximizes their potential and c.) Align their resources in such a way they actually walk in their vision.
I hope you find this to be a helpful resource for your journey! |
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"I'll Just Stay In My Own World"
 Avoidance: more specifically, conflict avoidance. Conflict avoidance is hiding, retreating, or escaping from conflict rather than addressing it. Avoiding thoughts, feelings, conversations; avoiding places, people; loss of interest; negativism.
From a Life Coach perspective, you will not be able to achieve your dreams unless you have a healthy strategy for dealing with conflict.
Let me create a context for recognizing the different ways we each handle conflict. According to Turner and Weed (1983), responses to conflict can be classified as follows:
Addressers are the people who are willing to take initiatives and risk to resolve conflicts by getting their opponents to agree with them on some issues.
Concealers take no risk and say nothing. They conceal their views and feelings.
Attackers cannot keep their feelings to themselves. They are angry for one or another reason, even though it may not be anyone's fault. They express their feelings by attacking whatever they can, even though that may not be the cause of their distress.
Avoidance is one method of the "concealer" response type to conflict.
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"I Can Stop This Whenever I Want"
 One major self-sabotage method is that of "self-medication". Addiction. Hey, this is not a counseling or psychology newsletter and we're not trying to judge, analyze, or solve world peace. But, from a Life Coaching perspective, all forms of self-medication are forms of self-sabotage. Why do we say that?
As Life Coaches, we're really focused on helping people set and reach goals. Ideally, those goals are stretch goals; meaning, beyond what is easy, comfortable or secure. To be able to vision, plan and implement goals that are bigger than you, a degree of risk, freedom and courage are needed. If someone struggles with an addiction, just the idea of stretching out of his or her comfort zone is often the trigger to cause them to self-medicate rather than act. The end result: no action and more self-medication.
Self-medication is a great inhibitor. Ironically, those stuck in self-medication cycles deny its power or impact on their lives. They will do everything and anything to maintain that cycle. They have a secret best friend. In reality though, they have sold out to their enemy!
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I'd love to hear from you on the topics presented in this newsletter as well as other thoughts you have regarding aligning our lives to help us realize our visions.
Consider forwarding this newsletter to your friends and colleagues by clicking on the "Forward email" link below. You never know who might benefit from this message.
Have a great day!
Sincerely,
Ron Swingle
Co-Founder, The Retreat at Hidden Treasure |
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