I have two children in college now. My house is ½ as loud.
I am the only female.
I am surrounded by football, buffalo wings, boys wrestling in the kitchen, piles of smelly laundry and never seem to have enough food in the fridge.
I miss my daughter.
And, of course my oldest son, but he's junior. I'm somewhat (sadly) used to his absence.
The day my daughter left for college, I applauded myself on the fact that I did not:
- Throw myself on the hood of her car and beg her to say.
- Duck tape her door shut
- Follow her down the road weeping.
Boy, did I want to hold on. But she has to make her own way, live her own life, find her own path, and she can't do that with me holding onto her coat tails. Therefore, I've had to be creative with my clinging. E.g. I stalk her on facebook. I text her messages, leaving off the last part so she'll have to text me back to get the rest of the message. Sometimes I call her up and offer her free coffee, shoes, dinner if she'll hang with me. And through it all, continually, I'm praying for her, thinking of her, rooting for her.
I was driving the other day, listening to Christian radio, and Casting Crowns came on. I love their song, East to West, and these lyrics caught my heart:
I can't live by what I feel
About the truth Your word reveals
And I'm not holding onto You
But You're holding onto me, You're holding onto me
The song is about the fact that sin can overwhelm us, make us feel unworthy, keep us away from God. And how God casts our sins as far as the east is from the west. But the part that caught me was that through it all - our shame, our mistakes, even our joys and triumphs...He is holding ME. See, so much we hear admonition about reaching out to God. Striving after God. Holding onto Jesus' hem.
But the truth is...He is holding me. He doesn't want to lose me. Like I am trying to stay connected to my daughter, God longs to stay connected with me. Like reminding me that He is loves me in a kind word, or encouragement from readers. Or reminding me of his protection in my life as I am driving long hours to speaking events. Over and over, if I look for Him in my day, or even focus inward, into my spiritual journey, I see him right there. Holding me.
Just like I'm holding my daughter, even through her busyness.
God is holding onto you. Steadying you, believing in you, rooting for you. Loving you. I pray you see Him holding onto you today, and, as the song says, may you find rest in His arms of mercy.
I have a number of books hitting the stands, or e-reader right now! It's a busy time - I just returned from the ACFW conference, am in the middle of writing a book, and gearing up for the My Book Therapy Storycrafter's Retreat October 21-23. (- if you're a writer and would like help crafting a novel, check it out!) I have a blog tour and a contest going on - free stuff! Check it out.
Meanwhile, I'm cheering on my football players (we're 3-0 in the conference!) and rooting for my college kids as they dive into their studies and extra-curricular activities (my son David landed the role of Capulet in his college production of Romeo and Juliet, and Sarah made the women's choir at her college!) I'm holding on to the ones I love.
Thank you for reading my books.