Happy September! Last month my husband and I went out on a date night and treated ourselves to a movie. We saw "Horrible Bosses." If you have not seen it, here is a brief synopsis. Three disgruntled employees plot out to kill each others' bosses. Obviously, there are less extreme methods for dealing with difficult bosses and I would like to touch upon these this month.
First and foremost, assume that your boss does not know that he/she is horrible. Some managers are new to a managerial role and do not know any better. Assume they mean well and are simply naïve of the effects of their actions. For those that do not want to improve and could care less about how you feel - these bosses are beyond helping - get away from them if you can.
For the ones that fall into "don't know any better category," let them know what they can improve on. This can be scary because of fear of insubordination, but remember that managers are not mind readers and they need honest constructive criticism. Don't wait to have a conversation. Putting it off will only make matters worse. Write out the issues and suggestions you have and ask a friend or family member to listen to what you say and give you feedback on how they think it will be received.
When you decide to confront them, make sure it is the right time to talk. Don't do it right after they have received bad news, if they are stressed, if they are pressed for time, etc. And, make sure that you have a quiet and undisturbed place to talk it out in full without interruptions. Start out with specifics and try to use language that keeps the manager from feeling like they are being attacked and end with alternatives. For example, "When you point out a mistake in front of the entire team it makes me feel inadequate and not a valued member of the team. When I am feeling like I am not valued, my motivation is affected. I would prefer if you could point out errors in private so that I may be given a chance to correct them. I want the company to be successful and I want to continue to grow within the company but I need to feel like I am valued member of this team."
Once a conversation has taken place, set a date and time to follow up. When your manager gets it right, give them kudos. They are, after all, employees too and deserve recognition and praise. People always believe that praise runs top to bottom but that is not always the case. Good managers are truly grateful for feedback and will appreciate the opportunity to learn how to do a better job.
If you've tried to make it work and can't, it's time to get away. You can go for another job inside the company (with someone you know to be a great boss), or seek out another organization. I hope these tips are helpful. As always, if you have feedback on this topic please e-mail me at info@parttimepros.com or info@tulsamedpros.com
All our best,
