Dear Friends,

This month, BJPA is highlighting our holdings on the topic of marriage and divorce.

Ritual and Marriage

Sh'ma has dedicated numerous issues to marriage, including in April 1971, October of the same year, and in June 2010. Zalman S. Schacter argued in 1971 that "Modern Covenants Need a Modern Ketubah." In 2010, Vanessa Ochs wondered why so many modern couples are willing to perpetuate a Jewish wedding ceremony that treats the bride as "The Object of His Acquisition." Not among such couples were Amitai Adler and Julie Pelc-Adler, who called their ceremony "Brit Ahuvim Not Kiddushin." Writing for Ma'yan in spring 2001, Heather Altman offered a number of such alternative marriage rituals.

Of course, issues of ritual and observance don't end after the wedding ceremony; in a Master's Thesis for HUC-JIR, Rebecca Goldberg explores the phenomenon of Jewish married couples who practice different levels of observance. 

Trends in Marriage

Dan Dorfman argued in 1982 that "We're Having too Much Fun, Oy, to Marry." In 1989, Calvin and Frances Goldscheider offered a systematic analysis of the relationship between educational attainment, marriage, intermarriage, and fertility. Sergio DellaPergola provided thorough examinations in 1989 and 1992 of "Recent Trends in Jewish Marriage."

In "Family Values and the Jews"(1994), Jack Wertheimer provided evidence of rising rates of divorce and/or deferred marriage among Jews; of massive geographical dislocation which affects family cohesion; and of other familial problems, mainly stemming (he argues) from the sexual revolution.

Writing for the ASSJ in 2002, Linda J. Waite reviewed the processes that create the Jewish family: marriage, divorce and childbearing. Last year, Sylvia Barack Fishman discussed trends in American Jewish nuclear family composition, including delayed marriage and non-marriage.

Marriage in Israel

In 1990, Naomi Bar-Yam argued that Israeli Jews tend to marry younger and put more of a stigma on being single than their counterparts in the United States. Last year, Naamah Kelman and Haviva Ner-David each lamented the nonexistence of civil marriage in Israel, which is a point of contention in the modern State.

Divorce

Any discussion of modern marriage would be remiss not to discuss divorce. Writing in the Journal of Jewish Communal Service in 1979, Gladys Rosen cited divorce as one reason behind the prognosis: "The Jewish Family: An Endangered Species?" In "Personal Realities in New Family Modes" (1991), Judy Freundlich Tiell and Judith Cumbler identified common obstacles faced by newly divorced families and their children.

Sally Weber contended in a 1993 issue of Sh'ma focused on divorce that the growing divorce rate necessitates a new definition of family. Jill Borg Spitzer and Joan B. Kristall each called for more communal support for divorcing couples - including emotional support. Sherry Rosen observed that "the New Acceptance" for the decision to divorce is a welcome change from the usual social stigma, noting that a community should nonetheless share its judgment and advice in certain ways. Susan Berrin wrote in 2003 about her experience of divorce and the alienation she experienced within the Jewish community.

In a 1994 issue of the Journal of Jewish Communal Service focused on divorce, Irving Breitowitz provided "A Primer on Jewish Divorce: A Guide for the Jewish Communal Professional." Steven Bayme argued that contemporary culture has removed the stigma from divorce, but has failed to replace it with a bias in favor of marriage. Judith S. Wallerstein wrote that the combined psychological and economic impact of divorce on children and adolescents is often severe and long-lasting. Joan Kristall and Geoffrey L. Grief described how the needs of noncustodial mothers and fathers have long gone unrecognized. Sherry H. Blumberg found that divorce affects the lives of all students in Jewish education either directly or indirectly. Stacy Miller noted that children of divorce often define themselves as such even into adulthood. Phyllis Hulewat and Marcia W. Levine describe the development of the Center for Divorcing Families. 

Agunot

The problem of husbands refusing to give a get (divorce document) remains a critical issue. In 1983, Haskel Lookstein advocated the idea of a prenuptial agreement to force husbands to give their wives a get (divorce document) should the marriage fail. The following decade, Susan Metzger Weiss of the Center for Women's Justice warned that such prenuptial agreements do not adequately realign the imbalance of powers, and may even prejudice women's interests in marital property, alimony or child support.

A 2005 conference convened by the Hadassah-Brandeis Institute discussed the moral quandary that the suffering of agunot ("chained" women whose separated husbands refuse to grant a get) creates for Orthodoxy's communities. In 2009, Diana Villa examined how Jewish family law is applied in Israel, discussing agunot and tensions between Jewish and Israeli secular law.

Recently, Barbara Zakheim published a new study of agunot, concluding that there have been more cases of women being refused a religious divorce by their husbands while the rate of case resolution has fallen.

Ritual and Divorce

In 1993, Leona Gordon Conford opined that the standard model for receiving a get is void of spiritual meaning for the woman, who remains passive in the interaction. In 2000, Leah Richman argued in The Reconstructionist that the Reconstructionist Egalitarian get needs revision.

Judith Rosenbaum and Or N. Rose discussed "Renewing the Ritual of Get" in 2005. Last year, Melanie-Malka Landau called for a creative reimagining of divorce ceremonies. Writing for Synagogue 3000,Kathleen E. Jenkins undertook a study analyzing how people turn to religious practice and community as they end life partnerships.

As you become aware of new research on Jewish communal topics, do keep us informed. Write to us at bjpa.wagner@nyu.edu, or submit materials for inclusion here (free registration is required).

With best wishes,

Steven

Prof. Steven M. Cohen

Director, Berman Jewish Policy Archive @ NYU Wagner