by Marilyn Atkinson, PhD

 

 

 

 

Have you ever been in a challenging conversation that is spinning around and around wishing you could take an expanded perspective? Learning to take an
expanded perspective in the moment is especially meaningful as we enter into the holiday season with friends and family that have the potential of triggering old and undesirable patterns of communication, don't ya think?

In this article I will impart one of the most important fundamentals of a transformational conversation. In fact, what is shared with you here is so significant, that it is impossible to ever have a truly deep, meaningful and transformational conversation without it.

Consider this: have you ever been in a situation where you just felt
completely in the moment now, all senses alive, and keenly aware of a larger global perspective? Perhaps you experienced this while you were in
meditation, on a mountaintop watching the world, in your favourite park, or
perhaps you were just watching your favourite sports team from the skybox. Either way, you had a beautiful expanded perspective on whatever was happening.  Perhaps you even felt a joyful detachment.  Allow yourself to be immersed in this experience again. Notice what was going on for you inside and outside. What were your feelings? Your thoughts? What was happening in the outside world? Who were you being when you allowed this experience?

Even if you haven't experienced this before, maybe you could pretend just
for a moment that you are experiencing it right now. Imagine yourself on
the mountaintop watching the world. Allow the noticing to take place, allow
it from a witnessing place within yourself. Are you feeling it?

In coaching lingo, this is what we call Coach Position.  One may also refer
to it as a Zen Detached Witness Posture. Regardless of what we call it, it
is the essence of what it is that is important. This is the first and most
fundamental way of being that all coaches are taught.

When coaching someone, it is critical to be in this expanded Coach Position
so that you can see all parts and perspectives of the person's life. Coach
Position might be described as being the pivotal gear in an amazingly
beautiful, complex, and precise instrument made up of many moving parts.
This Coach Position "gear" is central to observing the mechanism in action.
From the inside, it organizes the capacity for all parts and perspectives of
the system to be beneficial and to work in harmony. From the outside, it
offers a broadened perspective and the awareness of interconnectedness.

From Coach Position, a good coach sees life unfolding for the client as much more than the sum of its parts. When a person being coached is awakened to the fact that that there is no single absolute perspective in any situation, they are free to expand their awareness from many perspectives, thus allowing true transformation to happen in their lives.

Consider where in your life this awareness of Coach Position will serve you
and your relationships. Allow yourself to play out in your mind how you
will react differently to the circumstances in life now that you have this
tool. How will being the Witness with an expanded perspective change the way you approach the next conversation you have?  How will taking a Coach Position on your own life, thoughts and feelings, make a difference? Try it this holiday season. Gifting yourself and your client's with an expanded Coach Position is the gift of true transformation.

To learn more about Coach Position, and other transformational tools, visit
www.erickson.edu and purchase The Art & Science of Coaching book series.

Rae T. Chois, 

ICF Master Certified Coach

Los Angeles:
Module I: April 8 - 11

International dates: see the website calendar

 

Watch an interview with Rae T. Chois, Master Certified Coach and Erickson's Senior Trainer: "Education through Erickson College"
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