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  Volume 29                 Inspiration and Information for Highly Sensitive People
December 2010 
In This Issue
Quick Tips for a Stress-Free Holiday
Dealing with Life's Transitions
High Ability, High Sensitivity, High Anxiety
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"There are two days in the week about which and upon which I never worry... Yesterday and Tomorrow."

~ Robert Jones Burdette
Making Sense of Your High Sensitivity

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In my book, I reflect upon my life and provide a unique perspective on the lessons I have learned as a highly sensitive person.

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These beautiful recordings use psychoacoustic techniques to gently shift brain waves in support of well-being.


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"Resolve to be a master of change, rather than a victim of change."

~ Brian Tracy
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Dear ,

[img: ornaments]Happy Holidays! I hope you enjoy the season and get a chance to relax and reconnect with your loved ones.

Unfortunately though, this time of year can be particularly difficult and stressful for deep-thinking and deep-feeling highly sensitive people. Holiday preparations, social engagements, traffic, and crowds can leave us feeling frazzled. With that in mind, I offer some quick tips on reducing holiday stress.


The coming of the New Year also inspired me to write about life transitions, which pose another challenge for highly sensitive people. This month's guest article, by writer and researcher Douglas Eby, examines the relationship of high sensitivity to high ability and high anxiety. 


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I invite you to keep our products in mind as you do your shopping for the season. As a "thank you" to our subscribers, I am offering a 25% discount on all of our products until 1/31. To obtain the discount, simply type the code HSP2010 into the coupon code box upon checkout.

Our online store features products that have been hand selected for their specific benefits to highly sensitive people. It's your support that enables us to keep things running smoothly at The Highly Sensitive Person Publishing Company
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Quick Tips for a Stress-Free Holiday


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  • Do things that you really want to do. As highly sensitive people, we can sometimes give in too quickly and get roped into activities that don't appeal to us. Keep in mind that your needs are just as important as anyone else's. Be up front about your desires, and talk things over with those involved, such as a spouse or other family members. Although you may choose to make some compromises, it's important to realize that you can make your own choices without feeling guilty.
     
  • Don't fret about gift selection. Given our perfectionist tendencies, it's easy to go crazy trying to find "perfect" gifts. While it's nice to be thoughtful, there's no need to over-think every purchase or to spend beyond your budget. The holidays are not about gifts, but rather about spending time with your loved ones.
     
  • Set aside your judgments and conflicts. Avoid talking about sensitive subjects, since that can easily cause tempers to flare. When Uncle Fred or Aunt Mary gets on your nerves, make a conscious effort to see past your aggravation. Instead, look for the good in them and offer a sincere compliment. You may be surprised at how quickly things can turn around.
     
  • Take care of yourself. As highly sensitive people, we can easily feel overwhelmed or drained by all the activity and social gatherings. Respect your emotional and physical limits. Don't be afraid to say no to a situation that feels like too much or makes you uncomfortable. Make sure you plan down time for yourself and engage in activities that recharge your energy. 
Dealing with Life's Transitions

[img: 2011]With a New Year on the horizon, you may be reminiscing about events that happened in 2010 or anticipating what lies ahead in 2011. Like the start of a new year, our lives are marked by many different transitions.

There are career and job transitions that we may have to think about as a result of an unpredictable economy. Relationships may change or end, by our choice or not, and we may need to move on. A loss of a loved one is particularly stressful and may give us a negative outlook on life.

 

Transitions evoke strong emotions such as anxiety, rejection, curiosity, excitement, anticipation, fear, anger, and loss. The way we have experienced beginnings and endings earlier in our lives profoundly influences the way we experience them later on.

[img: frayed rope]It can be helpful to reflect back on our lives and understand why we act the way we do. The more we know about our habits, the better we can anticipate, evaluate, and handle the emotional fallout that often accompanies the changes in our lives.

 

As for me personally, I definitely have issues with transitions. Awareness and acceptance of this fact has helped me develop strategies to make this less of an issue. Below are some tips that I use to stay calm during times of transition.

 

  • Maintain an optimistic attitude. Your thoughts have a major impact on your life. Thinking positive thoughts rejuvenates your mind and body. A positive outlook helps you focus on solutions, whereas a negative outlook just draws attention to problems. An optimistic attitude increases your creativity and strengthens your immune system.
  • Practice gratitude. Write down the things you are grateful for, no matter how big or small. This can be extremely uplifting and will help you shift your energy.
  • Establish a strong support network of friends and family. This is the most important element in dealing with the stress of change. It's extremely helpful to share your feelings and get supportive feedback.
  • Expect and accept change as a regular part of life. Adopt an attitude that accepts and welcomes change and uncertainty. Understand that change is needed to help you grow, both personally and professionally.
  • Establish a clear vision of what you want. When you move towards something that's satisfying and meaningful to you, you'll be much more motivated to handle the roadblocks that come your way.
  • Live in the present moment. If you want to move forward, it's important to let go of the negative past. You can choose to be a victim and feel sorry for yourself, or you can choose to be focused and present in your life. Once you are "present," you are much better equipped to attract positive things and to handle life's transitions.


[img: change sign]I hope you find these tips helpful. Keep in mind that different things work for different people, and that your strategies may change over time. Learning to deal with change is a lifetime process that takes patience. Little by little, I'm learning that change doesn't have to be scary. It's an opportunity to grow and expand my horizons.


High Ability, High Sensitivity, High Anxiety
Guest Article by Douglas Eby

"All forms of self-expression that tap into curiosities, talents or deeply held interests, when pursued to excellence, are deeply nourishing." ~ Dr. Kenneth Christian, Your Own Worst Enemy

[img: drawing boy]There are many deeply rewarding aspects to being gifted, talented, creative, or highly sensitive. But there can also be emotional and mental health challenges, including anxiety.

Many gifted individuals have the following characteristics:
  • Divergent values compared to mainstream culture.
  • Extraordinarily high standards; low tolerance for mediocrity and frustration.
  • Acute awareness of complexities and consequence.
  • Strong entelechy (Greek for "having a goal"): the need for self-determination and self-actualization.
Having "acute awareness" and entelechy can lead to distress over social conditions, to existential dread or depression, especially if we are not embracing our talents enough. And "extraordinarily high standards" can show up as perfectionism.

In her article "Perfectionism: The Crucible of Giftedness", Linda Kreger Silverman explains that "perfectionism indiscriminately mingles idealism, introversion, preoccupation with one's flaws, fear of not being able to live up to others' expectations, and making unfair demands of others. This strange amalgam has been implicated in stress-related ailments, anxiety, depression..."

There is also evidence that high creativity can be linked to anxiety. In his article, "Creative intellect as a marker for genetic predisposition to high anxiety conditions",  Charles Linden states, "Our data shows us that anxiety sufferers all share a superior level of creative intellect."

In my podcast interview with psychiatrist Judith Orloff, I asked her about anxiety relief. She noted, "Creative people are extremely sensitive. Neurologically, they are very finely tuned and open to all kinds of energies from the outside, so it's important they protect themselves and not be overwhelmed."

[img: hands clenched]Having a more "finely tuned" nervous system, with greater sensory processing sensitivity, can make highly sensitive people more susceptible to anxiety. For example, a research study found that people who have an exaggerated "startle" reflex may find it harder to regulate emotional arousal. A report said, "Their sensitivity may, in combination with other hereditary and environmental factors, make them more prone to anxiety disorders.

Part of the problem with anxiety is labeling our arousal as "bad" anxiety, when it may just be overstimulation. Psychiatrist Kazimierz Dabrowski termed these intense emotional, intellectual, and physical reactions as "overexcitability". In other words, what seems to be anxiety may be just a higher level of arousal and emotional intensity. This can be okay, even more or less 'normal', for high ability or highly sensitive people.

Excerpted and adapted from "High Ability, High Sensitivity, High Anxiety" by Douglas Eby.

About the Author
Douglas EbyDouglas Eby writes about the psychological and social aspects of creative expression and personal development. His website has a wide range of articles, interviews, book excerpts, quotes and other material. It is divided into several sections, including High Ability; Highly Sensitive; The Inner Entrepreneur; The Inner Actor; Women and Talent; Anxiety Relief, and more. You can view his main site at Talent Development Resources.

As always, I am looking to tailor my content to your needs. Please email me if you have any of the following:  
  • Comments, suggestions, topics of interest.
  • An HSP challenge that you'd like to share.
  •  A desire to share your background or experience. Be a "Featured HSP" or write a guest article (< 600 words).
  • Questions about being a highly sensitive person.
  • HSP resources
  • Product suggestions. I plan to add more HSP Products to my site. Please let me know of any products that have been particularly helpful to you.
If you have found any of the materials or products on my website useful, please spread the word.


Warmest Regards,
Cliff Harwin
The Highly Sensitive Person Publishing Company