News from The Highly Sensitive Person Publishing Company

Volume 27 Inspiration and Information for Highly Sensitive People

October 2010

In This Issue

"Catsparella" is my daughter's feline-themed, pop culture blog. It was inspired by her passion for finding and sharing all of the coolest cat related content online.

Beyond cat pictures and videos, "Catsparella" goes deeper into kitty culture, highlighting everything from cat art and fashion, to cupcakes and celebrity gossip.

Visit the
Catsparella Blog

"Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit."

~ Napoleon Hill

Making Sense of Your High Sensitivity

In my book, I reflect upon my life and provide a unique perspective on the lessons I have learned as a highly sensitive person.

Learn More

Wellness Expo

WHAT: Mind, Body, Spirit Expo

WHEN: Friday, 10/22 through Sunday,
10/24

WHERE: Valley Forge Convention Center, King of Prussia, PA

View Event Details

BARBARA SHER'S WORKSHOP

WHAT: Barbara Sher's Big Cheap Week-end Workshop in NYC

WHEN: Friday, 11/19 at 6 PM
to Sunday,
11/21 at 1:30 PM

WHERE: West 34th Street & 7th Avenue
New York City

COST: $325

View Event Details

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If you like my "tweets" on Twitter or my thought-provoking questions on Facebook, please encourage others to join us. There is strength in numbers, and together, we can make each other stronger.

Dear ,

Happy Halloween! I hope you get a chance to "treat" yourself and enjoy the spirit of the holiday.

October is also Breast Cancer Awareness Month, which is a good time to increase your knowledge of the disease and to make sure that you are following a proactive health regimen for early detection. October abounds with a multitude of opportunities to contribute to this very important cause.

It should also be noted that October has been declared as Bully Prevention Month. This campaign unites communities nationwide for the purpose of bully prevention and intervention. It includes activities, education, and awareness building. This cause is near and dear to my heart. Sadly, highly sensitive people are often targets of bullying and have an extraordinarily difficult time recovering from bullying situations.

As always, I am looking to tailor my content to your specific needs. Please email me if you have any of the following:

1. Comments, suggestions, topics of interest.
2. An HSP challenge, large or small, that you'd like to share.
3. A desire to share your background or experience. You can be a "Featured HSP" or write a guest article about your expertise or interests. (Submissions should 600 words or less.)
4. Questions about being a highly sensitive person.
5. HSP resources. Do you know of another newsletter or web site where I could submit HSP-related articles? My mission is to spread the good word about high sensitivity.
6. HSP product suggestions. I plan to add more products to my site. Please let me know of any products that have been particularly helpful to you.

Do you go with the natural flow of life?

I wish that I could adapt better to the ups and downs of life. I am often overwhelmed by the good and bad of everything around me. It's fine to be deep-feeling, but not when it adversely affects my emotional and physical well-being.

This is something that highly sensitive people have to face on a daily basis. How do we stay balanced and composed in the wake of the fluctuating circumstances of our lives? While I thought I was making progress in this regard, I learned recently that I still have a lot to learn.

Mario Caruso, my dear friend of over 30 years and hair stylist, passed away last month. He was 76 years old and had been in and out of the hospital for a year. I was very upset about his recurring illness, but I never thought that he would die.

His passing hit me very hard. The loss of a loved one stirs up a hornet's nest of emotion for me. I feel the loss deeply, and it forces me to face the scary thought of my own mortality.

I feel as though there is now a huge void in my life. I lost my father 23 years ago, and Mario was like a father-figure to me. I was comfortable sharing my thoughts and feelings with him. He was an easy person to talk to and was always ready to offer thoughtful advice. He was like a therapist with scissors. We had many good laughs together. Talking to him was a great relief from the stresses of the day.

To me, Mario was an example of what a good and decent man should be...a caring friend, a dedicated family man, and a civic minded person. He was generous and involved in many charitable causes. It was very gratifying to witness a huge turnout for his funeral. He really deserved it.

While I'm frustrated, sad, and angry that my health and attitude haven't been good this month, I've come to realize that my feelings are temporary. As the old saying goes, "This too shall pass". The wisest thing I can do is to stop fighting "what is" and to accept things as they unfold.

Below are some lessons I have learned in dealing with my recent loss:

Take time to grieve and feel sad. This means to acknowledge feeling badly and not try to rationalize it away. Crying is an excellent way to cleanse the grief.
Focus on the positive. Remember the good times and happy memories, rather than dwelling on the current loss.
Don't be too hard on yourself. Don't fret if you feel that you're not making progress. Grief is different for everyone, and there is no set timetable. It takes as long as it takes.
Seek support. If you feel overwhelmed, seek professional help, or share your feelings with a trusted friend or advisor.
Write down your feelings. Journaling can be very cathartic and a great way to find a healthier perspective.

Our journey through life becomes easier when we learn to "swim with" the natural currents of our lives. Acceptance of both the good and bad, along with a willingness to grow, makes the ride much smoother. Rather than suppressing difficult feelings, it is better to allow them to run their course so that we don't get stuck. Appreciate the blessings in life, but stay grounded, and try not to over-identify with things that can change at any time.

Although I'm still feeling the terrible sting of losing my dear friend, I will do everything I can to work through my feelings and accept this loss. While my pain may never go away completely, I know that it will change, and there will be better times ahead.

Increase your Resiliency

Your ability to bounce back from painful experiences makes you a stronger person. While you can't stop bad things from happening, you can control your reactions to them. Below are some tips for increasing your resiliency:

Take a break. If possible, remove yourself from the difficult situation. A much needed breather will clear your mind and give you a fresh perspective.
Optimize your health. Eat a balanced diet, drink plenty of water, exercise, and get the sleep that you need. Meditation and yoga are great ways to calm your mind. When you are feeling your best, it is much easier to cope with stress.
Get support. Talk to family, friends, and other people that you trust. You might consider joining a support group that offers information, mutual support, and practical suggestions.
Give yourself something to look forward to. Actively plan an activity that you enjoy.
Get the "lesson". Ask yourself, What can I learn from this situation? It is much easier to accept a difficult circumstance when you are able to find something positive that came out of it.
Maintain a healthy balance. Don't let intense good and bad feelings pull you too high or too low. It is best to strive for balance in all aspects of your life.
Give yourself credit. Pat yourself on the back for bouncing back from a difficult situation. This will make you stronger and ready to handle anything that comes your way.

My Writing Life
Guest Article by Catherine Chisnall

"We'd like to publish your book." These are the words every author wants to hear, but in my case, it was an email from Night Publishing. Although I hadn't won the monthly competition on their website, my book had been "cherry picked" as one they wanted to publish.

My short novel, Descending, is a cautionary tale about unwise choices and the consequences of those choices. A lonely teaching assistant and a neglected student have an affair. The story explores the ambiguity of relationships between staff and students, and reflects upon who is actually in control. Since so many people wanted to know what happens next, I decided to write a sequel, which I hope will be published later this year.

I have been writing ever since I can remember. I began with stories about families and romances, though my first published novel is neither. My publisher, Tim Roux, says Descending is an understated story, whispered rather than shouted. This fits in with the Highly Sensitive trait. I don't want to write horror, action, thriller, or any other stories described with broad strokes. I like subtle stories. I also don't like definitive endings, whether happy or sad: 'they lived happily ever after', or 'they all died' are not for me. I prefer to leave it to the reader to decide.

Obviously, writing a best seller would be financially rewarding, but I don't think I could write something that would appeal to the masses. It's just not who I am.

I feel a strong compulsion to write. It is something that I HAVE to do. People can write purely to earn money, but they must have some basic urge to do so, or there would be no heart in what they write. I have no choice but to write. When I'm not writing my "serious novels", I write fan fiction or parodies with my friends on the internet. It's funny and relaxing and keeps me in practice.

I've had some factual articles published too, on the subjects of food allergies, local history, depression, and the HSP trait. Some were paid, most were not, as they were for charities. All of my articles go into my portfolio, which gives me something to show potential employers.

I enjoy writing articles, and I think that it will be easier to earn money that way. I intend to take a course in freelance and feature writing. My goal is to get some good advice on what to concentrate on, which magazines to pitch to, and how much to charge.

I have written a couple of articles giving tips on how to get magazine articles and books published. They are at Wikinut, a site where people can publish articles and earn money from them. My articles summarize the advice I give to aspiring writers. I hope people find them useful. You can also find more content on my blog, which is dedicated to my passion for writing and books.

About the Author
Born in England, Catherine Chisnall now lives with her husband and daughter in the South. She has had a varied career working in banks, libraries and charities, and, for the last 10 years, secondary and further education. Her short novel, Descending, has received considerable acclaim for the social realism and the sparse elegance of her writing. She has published several articles and has a blog dedicated to her passion for writing and books.

Please check my website for helpful resources. I have archived my previous newsletters and audio programs. Our online store features products that have been hand selected for their specific benefits to highly sensitive people.

If you have enjoyed this newsletter, my book, Making Sense of Your High Sensitivity, my ebook, Real World Advice Specifically For Highly Sensitive People, the teleconferences, or my products, please spread the word.

Warmest Regards,

Cliff Harwin
The Highly Sensitive Person Publishing Company