News from The Highly Sensitive Person Publishing Company

Volume 24 Inspiration and Information for Highly Sensitive People

July 2010

In This Issue

HSP Retreat

What "pests" do you have in your life?

Can exercise keep us mentally fit?

The Undervalued Self by Elaine Aron

Cliff's Blog Radio Interview

Cliff will be interviewed by Elizabeth Ann Blake on the BlogTalkRadio Podcast.

AIR DATE: Friday,
July 23, 2010
2:00 PM EST
1:00 PM CST

TOPIC:
HSP Friendships

Are friendships important to you? If so, what qualities do you seek in a person? Where can you find healthy and supportive people?

CALL-IN NUMBER:
(347) 857-4311

WHERE:You can listen to the interview live or
on demand at the blogtalkradio web site.

HSP Gathering Retreat

Celebrating the 20th HSP Gathering Retreat since 2001.

WHEN: September 2-6, 2010

WHERE: Walker Creek Ranch in Petaluma CA

Presenters and speakers include Elaine Aron, Dr. Ted Zeff, Jenna Avery, Kristine Carey, Barrie Jaeger, and Jacquelyn Strickland.

Non-workshop activities will include Creativity Night, Music & Dance Night, and Art Night, as well as plenty of time to socialize with fellow HSPs.

View Event Details

"When one door closes, another opens.

But we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."

~ Alexander Graham Bell

Making Sense of Your High Sensitivity

In my book, I reflect upon my life and provide a unique perspective on the lessons I have learned as a highly sensitive person.

Learn More

Become a fan of
The Highly Sensitive Person Publishing Company
on Facebook.

Dear ,

Happy 2nd Anniversary! It's hard to believe that this is our 24th newsletter. It's personally been a growing experience for me and hopefully for you too. It's important that we grow together and validate each other as highly sensitive people. Being an HSP is a good thing, especially when we understand this trait and know how to make the most of our gifts.

Please check my website for helpful resources. I have archived all of my previous newsletters, teleconferences, and Blog Talk Radio interviews. The content is readily available with just a few quick clicks. I also encourage you to visit our store, which contains products that I have hand selected for their specific benefits to highly sensitive people.

If my newsletter, my book, Making Sense of Your High Sensitivity, my e-book, Real World Advice Specifically For Highly Sensitive People, the teleconferences, or my products have been useful to you, please tell as many people as possible. There is definite strength in numbers!

Cliff's Wellness Update

I'm continuing to keep up with my three times per week exercise routine. I'm happy to say that I just received a positive medical report. Although I'm still not feeling up to par, I'm relieved to be making progress and that my health is on the upswing.

Unfortunately, I've had to curtail some of my activities as part of my self-care regime. I recently made the difficult choice to discontinue my Meetup Group, The Highly Sensitive Person Friendship Circle. I had been the organizer of this group for over two years. We had 267 members from the United States and many other countries, including a few that I never heard of! It was the second largest HSP Meetup Group in the world.

The purpose of Meetup.com is to bring together people who share common interests through in-person meetings. Sadly, I wasn't feeling up to the task, even though I strongly support their mission. While I feel bad about my decision, I also know that sometimes you have to take a step back to move forward in your life. Endings do not always signify "the end" but can be new beginnings.

One thing I want to make clear, however, is that I certainly don't plan on disappearing. You can still find out about my future activities through this newsletter, on Twitter, and on Facebook. I will also be hosting teleconferences and teleseminars on HSP related topics. Feel free to email me if you have any questions or thoughts about topics of interest to you. It is my hope that these venues will continue to help HSPs connect and communicate with each other.

What "Pests" Do You Have in Your Life?

The word "pest" has many meanings. Words like annoying, troublesome, nuisance, destructive, and injurious come to mind.

What kinds of pests do you have in your life? I'm not talking about the normal insect and rodent pests. I'm talking about the people, situations, and negative thinking that can make your life miserable.

It's very easy to go through life and continue to cope with troublesome situations in the same old way. This is because we don't take the time to think about what's truly bothering us. How can we remedy a situation that we don't understand?

In order to move forward in our lives, we need to rid ourselves of or keep our distance from the emotional and physical roadblocks that get in our way. Our highly sensitive deep-thinking and reflective capabilities can help us chart a positive course of action.

It's ironic that I've been in the pest management industry for over 30 years, and I've never thought of using the principles of integrated pest management (IPM) in my daily life.

IPM is a coordinated approach to pest control. The idea is to prevent unacceptable levels of pests by the most effective means yet using the least possible hazard to the environment. Physical controls, such as fixing openings where pests can enter a building, provide permanent control. Pesticides are only used as a last resort when other controls are inadequate. Sometimes the most obvious way of taking care of a problem is not necessarily the best way.

You can apply IPM principles to your life by:

Monitoring and identifying the pest. Who or what is bothering you? Is there a person, situation, or personal negative attitude causing unusual distress? What do you want to accomplish? Not all pests require control. Many problems aren't serious and don't need to be controlled. We can learn life lessons from difficult people and situations. Many pest problems require acceptance, and maybe that's all that's needed.
Prevention. What preventive steps can you take to prevent problems? Perhaps you need to establish boundaries or stay away from negative influences. Maybe a vacation or more time alone is needed to clear your mind.
Control. Once you've established what your pest problems are and have taken preventive measures, the most important question is: How do you control them? You can better control a situation when you have a long-term strategy. There's no need to feel powerless. You can control your circumstances more than you think.

When you take the initiative to get to the root of your unhappiness, you'll take the steps needed to make your situation better. You don't have to do this alone. I offer private consultations. I also plan to have teleconference groups that deal with those pesky situations that "bug" you. You can email me to be put on a reservation list and get more details about these events.

Can Exercise Keep Us Mentally Fit?

Researchers studying both animals and humans say the answer is yes! People such as John J. Ratey, a Harvard University psychiatrist and author of Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and The Brain, emphasizes enthusiastically that there is overwhelming evidence that exercise produces large cognitive gains and helps fight dementia.

"The studies are very clear", Dr. Ratey says. "Even if you're in middle age, and you begin to exercise three to four times per week, at fairly moderate rates...adding some weights here and there...you're going to push back cognitive decline by anywhere from 10 to 15 years."

In his book, Ratey notes research indicating that MRI scans of the brains of sedentary people who improve their fitness show increased volume in the hippocampus and frontal and temporal lobes, regions of the brain associated with cognitive functioning. The hippocampus in particular is associated with memory and learning.

"The major implication is that exercise not only keeps the brain from deteriorating, but it also reverses the cell deterioration associated with aging," Ratey wrote.

(Source: Lenny Bernstein, Washington Post)

The Undervalued Self by Elaine Aron

Every single day, each of us battles moments of seriously undervaluing ourselves. For some it is a chronic problem. The Undervalued Self teaches us to modify the two innate behavior systems that we use every day.

These two instincts are to rank each other in a search for power and to link with each other in our search for love. They play a role in all of our relationships and contribute to the ways we undervalue ourselves.

At home, in our romantic relationships, family relationships, with our children, and in our business lives, we constantly deal with this interplay of love and power, linking and ranking. When the two go wrong, we undervalue ourselves - to our own detriment and that of everyone around us.

Using a series of true/false questionnaires, case studies and analytical observation, Aron identifies the masks and self-defense strategies we use unconsciously to deal with traumatic events, and how those strategies affect self-worth. Topics under consideration include dreams, the specter of the Inner Critic, and self-sabotaging behavior like the Protector-Persecutor paradigm.

Thanks to all of you who have been sending comments about the newsletter. As always, we welcome your feedback, and please tell others about us!

Warmest Regards,

Cliff Harwin
The Highly Sensitive Person Publishing Company