Thoughts for the Thoughful Newsletter Header
  Volume 2                 Inspiration and Information for Highly Sensitive People
September 2008 
In This Issue
Are you living your purpose?
Kick the WORRY habit!
Choose your battles
Featured HSP
[Cliff's Pic]

Cliff Harwin owns and operates the Highly Sensitive Person Publishing Company.

He is an author, lecturer, and of course, a fellow HSP!

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Dear ,

I'm excited about the positive response that I received about Volume 1 of this newsletter. Thank you very much! As always, I welcome any feedback you have about this publication.
Are you living your purpose?
[Hands IMG] This question is especially important to highly sensitive people. We need a "purpose", regardless of what stage of life that we're in. Our deep thinking capabilities compel us to ask ourselves this question and come up with answers. It's essential that our lives have meaning.

Our purpose can take many forms. It could mean being a good parent, friend, spouse, son, daughter, etc. Having a meaningful way of earning a living is a common goal for us all. Volunteer work can make our lives more meaningful. Hobbies and pet ownership can make our lives joyful. Learning a new skill can be fulfilling and give us increased self-esteem. Perhaps it's a combination of all of these.

What do you do to have your most meaningful life? It has taken me a long time to figure this out. I've learned that my most meaningful life is having a balanced life with the elements that I mentioned. I'm also doing "work" that utilizes my talents and interests. My interest is to encourage HSPs to feel good about themselves and make the most out of their inherited character traits. Thus, I am diligently working to produce HSP-related content, such as my book, my web site, this newsletter, tele-classes, in-person seminars, and The Highly Sensitive Person Friendship Circle. In essence, I'm helping others.

Live your purpose! You owe it to yourself and others to do so. Can you imagine what a better place the world would be if more of us pursued our passions? What do you think your life would look like if you were living "on purpose"?  What type of energy shift would take place, within you and those around you? Aren't these enough reasons to start living your purpose?

(If you're interested in the topic of finding your calling and are local to NJ, we will be having a workshop on 10/15 in Plainsboro NJ.)

Other Resources: How to Open to Your Life's Purpose (from Oprah's O Magazine)
(Guest Article by Amy McNeil)
Kick the worry habit!
[Stressed Woman IMG] Although highly sensitive people (HSP) are blessed with many wonderful gifts, they also have their share of challenges. According to Dr. Elaine Aron, HSPs tend to become easily overwhelmed by life, due to a biological difference in their nervous systems. This high sensitivity can lead to worry, stress, and anxiety.

Since worry triggers and fuels many negative emotions, understanding and managing it provides an excellent starting point for "getting out of your own way". Wikipedia defines worry as the "negative self-talk that often distracts the mind from focusing on the problem at hand".  Put another way, worry can be thought of as a barrier that blocks you from your best self. In other words, when you are in a state of intense worry, you have extremely limited "access" to things like intuition, knowledge, and talent. Instead, you have increased access to emotions that are more "compatible" with worry, such as anxiety, fear, depression, etc.

As an example, many HSPs have a tendency to under-perform while being watched. Why do you think this is? It is because fear and anxiety creep in as soon as you start to worry about what others are thinking. In essence, this fear blocks you from your knowledge and talent. However, in the absence of an observer, you are not worried and then once again have free access to your abilities. As another example, how often have you struggled to find the right words in the middle of a stressful argument, only to have those perfect words come easily to you after the argument has ended?

If you take a close look at worry, it's simple to see that it serves no useful purpose. You will not change the outcome of anything by "worrying" about it. The only thing that worry will accomplish is to increase your suffering and to choke you off from your true self. Author and teacher, Leo Buscaglia, put it best when he said, "Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy."

If you would like to learn more about worry as well as strategies for managing it, join our free teleconference, "Kick the Worry Habit", which takes place on 9/30, from 9-10 pm. Email Amy to make a reservation, and she will send you the call details a few days prior to the event.
Choose your battles

[Lambs Fighting Image] Do you hate confrontation? I do. I don't have the time and inclination to fight with people. It just takes too much time and energy out of me. As a HSP, it's especially important to choose your battles carefully.

 However, there are some occasions when you do need to take a stand. Below are some resources to lighten your load, time and energy wise. These sources will also help you be more effective in your quest for justice.

PlanetFeedback
Better Business Bureau
Call For Action!
Fight Back
Complaints.com

Reminder: If you're interested in the topic of managing conflict (and are local to NJ), we're having a conflict workshop on 9/17 in Plainsboro NJ.  See event flyer for details.
Featured HSP

[Marcy Nelson] This month's featured HSP is Marcy Nelson. Marcy was on The Highly Sensitive Person Friendship Circle's teleconference, Are You Living Your Purpose? Her inspirational story emphasizes the power of purpose.

Marcy was in the legal field for twenty years. She was excited about her job, and felt that this would be her lifetime career. After her tenth year however, she started to feel professionally unfulfilled, but didn't know what she wanted.

Due to the horrific events of September 11th, she was laid off from her job. She decided to take some time off to figure out what she wanted. Her first thought was to go back to school. She decided that instead of going to school without a purpose, she would do volunteer work for Calvary Hospice, after hearing a radio advertisement.

This experience was a turning point in her life. She had a variety of responsibilities with hospice patients. This gave her a strong sense of fulfillment.

She was motivated to do other volunteer work, including working in an Intensive Care Unit in a hospital, and in a nursing home as a recreation assistant.  
 
After doing this for a few years, she knew that she found her life's calling. She went back to school to pursue a Masters Degree in Healthcare Administration and is three classes away from graduation. Her ultimate dream is to own a nursing home or assisted living facility where she would be responsible for the care of those who are too fragile (physically or emotionally) to take care of themselves.

Marcy's story illustrates how you might find your purpose. She volunteered for a variety of activities that "warmed her heart" and her many experiences have lead to her purpose.

Please email me to share your story with other HSPs in future issues of this newsletter.
I'm very interested in any comments and suggestions, including other topics of interest and guest article ideas. My objective is to give you the most meaningful information that I can. Feel free to email me anytime.  I would love to hear from you.

 

Warmest Regards,
Cliff Harwin
The Highly Sensitive Person Publishing Company