|Dear Friend, |
It's amazing how many times I hear my clients say, "I would never wear that." Sometimes they are disappointed because they "can't" wear something, while other times I know they are giving me the message that I have just crossed the line with a suggestion that might be a stretch for them.
Finding Out Why "I Would Never Wear That"
I always like to dig into the "why" behind this strong response. Often the "I would never" pieces of clothing are the opposite of the types of looks we've become attached to over the years. And surprise: our attachments aren't always logical. They're quite often emotional, and they may not be serving us well.
Dressing from the Past
After spending a lot of time in people's closets, I've found that we often dress from a time period in our lives that we felt we looked our best. For example, when I'm in a woman's closet it's not uncommon for me to hear stories about why she kept a certain dress. It's not necessarily a special event that the dress is attached to; it's most often the way she felt about herself at the time - in other words, an emotional attachment.
What Exactly Are We Hoping For?
I find it intriguing just how much hope is wrapped up in what we wear. We hope we'll drop that last 10 pounds, we hope we can fit into those jeans that remind us of a particularly good year, we hope we can rediscover the way we felt when we bought that suit. It's striking how much we hold onto the past, when what would really benefit us is a confident step into the present.
Let's Be Honest
My challenge to you this spring is to take a hard, honest look at your closet. I did that last week and as usual, I found I had several things I needed to part with that just didn't fit anymore. Why they don't fit doesn't really matter (though of course I went down that road in my mind before refocusing on the task at hand). What does matter is living in the present. If you know me, you've heard me say that you should dress for the person you are now - not the person you were five, ten, or even twenty years ago.
Be Open to the Present
The next time you start in with the "I would never wear that," stop and ask yourself why. What are you attached to in the past that's not letting you open up to the possibilities of the present? There are plenty of good reasons to not wear a ridiculous trend, but there is only one present moment to be open to a new idea. Just give it a try - who knows what new memory might be ready to present itself.