Dear ,
Last night, in my kitchen, I made my husband laugh until he couldn't breathe. It was fabulous. Then I did it again and I was deservedly proud!
You see, I am NOT the funny one. I try. I laugh a lot at my own jokes, but poll the people in my life and they would tell you it's a stretch to say that funny is in my top 5 best qualities. But I do try. (I suddenly have the erge to retell a very funny, spontaneously witty moment Kristen and I shared not too long ago, but know -- from experience -- that it would be a mistake!)
Lately, however, I find that my sense of humor has grown exponentially -- mostly in relationship to myself. There are so many reasons why, but what seems relative is that life has been challenging and stunning in ways I have not known before. The contrast makes me spin, then makes me pause, then makes me smile. My control has been dissolved, my fear abashed and my frustration turned into Lucile Ball. There seems nothing else to do except my best and see what happens.
It's working out surprisingly well. (Smile). Lucile makes for good company and I feel grateful for every opportunity to do something different, maybe even better when I can. I think they call it growth, but I can't be sure.
So, as I work to reconcile the infinite beauty and endless struggle that life can be I am also working on reconciling December of 2008 so I can finish my taxes, taking quitar lessons so I can play like Willie Nelson and laughing at the fact that two months ago what I thought was my biggest failure is turning out better than I expected.
To quote one of my favorite songs:
"I feel better. I can laugh at it now, I feel better. Ohhh, better. And even a little is still better. Oh, have mercy on me."
Be well and smile.
Chantill
