by Karen Schatz, Virtually With You

Communication ... thirty years ago, when you wanted to talk with someone in your office, you simply walked down the hall and an interchange of information took place.  It hardly occurred to anyone to pick up the phone just to talk to your coworker next door and it certainly didn't occur to anyone to type out a message and mail it off to them.
 
Now, with the efficiency of information technology, communicating through email has not only become the easiest way to communicate, but it has become the preferred way.  We would much rather type out a message than pick up the phone to talk to someone or, heaven forbid, walk down the hall to talk face-to-face.  But what do you do if your coworker or colleague is not next door or down the hall, but instead lives in the next state or across the globe?  The two best ways to effectively communicate virtually are by email and by phone.
 
And as long as a topic of conversation is easy and agreeable, communicating through either of these mediums can be very good plus be effective.  But how do you handle a conversation with someone when the topic is uncomfortable, unpleasant or disagreeable?
 
In a virtual world, it can be disastrous if you are not careful about how you approach a disagreeable conversation.  Your natural tendency would be to take the easy way out and email the other person so as to keep the emotion out of the conversation.  It allows you to state the facts and stay on task with your points.  Another reason to communicate by email is that it keeps a written record of the conversation.  It safeguards against both parties miscommunicating ... or so you think it does.  
 
The other risk of communicating by email is that it also removes the ability to understand the other person's intention.  Communicating is about so much more than the facts or the instructions that we share in a bi-directional manner.  It is also about conveying feelings and intentions.  It is a dialogue that takes place in a back and forth manner.  And when a conversation is difficult or disagreeable, the best and only way to effectively communicate with another person is to talk face-to-face or, at the very least, over the phone.  Nothing takes the place of good old-fashioned dialogue that allows two people to hash out differences and share perspectives than when done voice-to-voice.
 
This has happened to me in the past and, while I also defaulted to typing out my grievances in an email, there's only so much that can be effectively communicated through an email before I am forced to do what is right and talk through my differences in person. It will feel risky, but you'll like the results.