Focusing on the interior life of mind, body and heart left me receptive to the messages in David Brooks' recent book, The Social Animal . Leaders in particular will appreciate his perspective on the rich life and productive capacity of the unconscious in shaping our success in life.  

Brooks touches on a vast array of fascinating research but one quote has been echoing in my mind: "It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us...Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and right conduct." ( Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning)   

The Social Animal also supplied me with an unexpected insight into my own work.  Here's my Eureka: Thank-You David Brooks . 

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I was thrilled to see the crowd that turned out for a Letters to My Younger Self Seminar at Deutsche Bank in Manhattan, which included men on the panel. Their letters surprised me. ( You can read about them here. )

The remaining letter-writing participants--three DB female managing directors--chose to address struggles that will reverberate with many of you who are leaders. 

Mary, during her college years

Mary Chen-Eng, a child of immigrants, spoke to her younger herself in college, when she was torn between pursuing her own interests and the safe path suggested by her parents. "It feels impossible to go after a career you are passionate about," she wrote. "But you don't have to shut the door on passion forever. Do not let the safe choice today stop you from risk-taking and challenges tomorrow." (Read the full letter in the new Read Letters area of my site.) 

Janice Reznick wrote to herself as a young lawyer starting out at Simpson Thacher in New York about the importance of building a bigger network. Her advice: "Many of these people around you will be your peers, adversaries and collaborators for a long time. Get to know them. You'll have a better sense of who they are and where they are coming from if you understand their lives and their motivations."

The younger self Lori Callahan addressed her letter to was in her early thirties and had just given birth to her second child. Sleep-deprived, Lori returned to work in her first significant management job, mistakenly thinking that being leader meant she should be the foremost expert in her unit's function.

Lori today, with her daughter

 "Doing your job well is no longer a matter of being smart and good at a discipline....As a leader your job is not to know more than (your people) do...If you create a sense of deep connection with you, and with each other, the motivation you're seeking from the team will grow." (See Lori's full letter .) 

Lori's pick for the leadership book that most influenced her: Leading Minds, by Howard Gardner . "It validated for me that it takes more than book smarts to be a strong leader."

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