From AlfieKohn.org: "Most advice for parents begins with the question 'How can we get kids to do what they're told?' - and then proceeds to offer various techniques for controlling them. In his landmark book Unconditional Parenting - and in this talk based on that book - Alfie Kohn begins instead by asking 'What are our long-term goals for our children?' ...Kohn argues that punishments (including time-outs) and rewards (including positive reinforcement) may sometimes produce temporary compliance, but they do nothing to help kids grow into responsible, caring, ethical, happy people."