We both come from a very strong and active evangelical background. We both attended evangelical colleges to train for full time Christian ministry. Steve went on and completed seminary. Jos� completed grad work in applied psychology. Jos� had a short ministry in Cleveland, Ohio. Steve served two pastorates, one in western New York, the second in New Jersey. Our paths crossed in Manhattan at an "ex-gay" support group in February, 1997. Steve was 44 and married with four children. Jos� was 30 and in a steady dating relationship of four years. We were both aggressively and devotedly seeking whatever help might be found in "overcoming" our same-sex attractions, believing what our evangelical faith had taught us about the sin of "sodomy" on the one hand, and about "victorious Christian living in Jesus" on the other. Jos� was attending self-help groups of every kind almost nightly in NYC. Steve was in weekly counseling sessions by phone with Joseph Nicolosi, renowned among evangelicals as a reparative therapist able to effectively "change" homosexuals. The "change" and "victory" we found were of a very un-evangelical* kind: self-acceptance as gay Christian men, and pure, heavenly joy in the arms and delights of one another. In Oct. of 1997, we entered into a loving, co-habitating union which continues to this day. Together we continue to celebrate the spirit, mind and body of one another in true matrimonial union. We are a family of two: a happily "married" couple.
We believe that evangelical gay Christians have a real message to the church at large: whatever Paul is talking about in Romans 1, it isn't us. John Wesley of the 18th century taught that the Christian's authority is based on (1) the scriptures, (2) tradition, (3) reason and (4) experience, and that whenever accepted reason and general experience show one's interpretation of a passage of scripture to be very unlikely, that one's interpretation is to be called into question rather than the collective experience of the human race. Unfortunately, evangelicalism of the 20th century has put such a premium on scripture it has perhaps failed to see the significance of reason and experience.
We purpose to lovingly and patiently ask the church to recover Wesley's principles of reason and experience, and in doing so, to give us audience enough to hear our sacred journey and process by which we dared to question centuries-old accepted norms through reasoning and experience.
