| by Brian Dean
We are creatures of habit. How we react, what we do is based on what habits we have created. Changing this habit, or these habits seems to be a hard thing, convincing yourself not to do something that you really feel you need to do, and doing something else instead. Also, starting new habits seems to be difficult as well, especially when we want to improve ourselves. Part of that comes down to commitment, a big part.
All of us have things that we want to stop doing that are bad for us. Some of the most obvious things would be to quit smoking, not eat as much, watch less TV. But there are lots more that may not be as obvious such as sitting with poor posture (as poor posture can hurt the body), working in poor light, not paying attention to safety issues.
At the same time all of us have things who like to do to make ourselves better. These could include exercising, eating better foods, reading more. The key is that whatever we want to do we have to make it positive in nature. Instead of looking at stopping bad habits, we look at as creating good habits that replace bad habits. For example, if one wanted to eat less junk food, one goal would be to eat better food. In the long run, creating good habits creates a positive mental attitude and creates better health.
Experts (and the use the term loosely) agree that it takes 21 days to instill a habit. By doing the same thing over and over again for 21 days, makes a habit, and once something is a habit you will continue doing it. For instance if one of your goals was to exercise more, if you were to exercise every day for 21 days in a row, that would become part of your daily routine and you would miss it if you did not do it.
Here are a few steps to help you create new and better habits in your life.
1. Create a goal and write it down. Writing something down makes it physical, makes it something you can touch, something you can do. It makes magic.
2. List your reasons for your goal and write them down. Making a list of reasons puts form to your goal. It shows your arguments and gives credence to what you want to do.
3. Find substitute routines. If there are points when it is difficult to do this new habit, you need to find something else to do during that period. For example, if you are trying to improve your eating and there is a time of the day where it is difficult, you need to find something else to do to take your attention from what you don't want to do.
4. Talk to yourself (and I'm not talking about doing so by yourself in crowds). All too often we put ourselves down when we do not do what we are wanting to do, or were supposed to do. After all, we are our own worst critics. But instead of approaching it from the negative, we need to approach it from the positive. Tell yourself how well you are doing, and if you do not do as well as you want to, tell yourself that you will improve. Positive feedback helps and sometimes the only place we can rely on positive feedback is from ourselves.
5. Recruit helpers for support. Obviously, everything is more difficult if we do it by ourselves without outside support. Our first leg of support needs to be ourselves, but it helps a lot if there are other people prodding us on in supporting what we are doing. Their role may be the needed encouragement to get over a certain spot.
6. Be prepared for people that may sabotage what we are doing. All too often we get sabotaged by people that mean well and care, but in what they do, they are hurting our efforts. For instance, someone that is motivating to lose weight does not need a friend that is baking them cookies. Someone that is trying to create a habit of exercising does not need a friend telling them to skip a day and come have a beer. The key here is to be assertive and stand up for yourself. You know that your friends do not mean harm, but you need to make them understand that this is something you need to do for your health.
Now, when you start on your path of improvement, you will need help for sustaining that motivation and determination. Here are some suggestions.
1. Keep reviewing your list of reasons. This will keep these reasons fresh in your mind and help remind yourself why you're doing what you are doing.
2. Create mental images of yourself already having succeeded at what you are doing. Picturing yourself in this way creates energy and puts it out to the universe. This energy will eventually return back to you and help you achieve your goal.
3. Make affirmations. These are positive statements about your habit for change. For instance, "I will continue to lose weight until I am at the weight I wish to be." Make a list of these on paper and read them to yourself daily. Initially, you may not believe any of them, but eventually, you will believe all of them.
4. Reward yourself. At the end of every goal, there needs to be a reward. That reward can be a verbal pat on the back. It can also be a change in attitude through the accomplishment which is a positive change in health.
5. Take one day at a time. Just as with everything we want, we want it now. Now is not always possible especially when what you are dealing with something that has to develop over a period of time. If you slide back, don't think that you failed, just look ahead and continue on the path to getting where you need to be. Changes that take time, take time. We get through one day, then we start the next.
I hope this is a good starting point as you start yourself on your first 21 day cycle. Remember, be positive, move forward step by step, take each day as it comes, and you will get there. As my favorite little green person would say, try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try. Remember, you can do it.
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