In Jungian psychology, it is recognized that
a major cause of suffering during the second
half of life is the accumulation of 'unlived
life' that is taking its toll on the person.
It is assumed that every individual has a
unique life potential to be fulfilled, and
this is not something we can ignore without
detriment to our well-being. In modern times,
we have come to value achievement over
fulfillment, putting undue emphasis on the
outer, visible signs of success and
neglecting the hidden but equally necessary
growth requirements of our soul-life.
We can liken the human growth process to that
of a houseplant. The leaves and flowers are
the outer expression of an inner growth
process, most of which is happening 'beneath
the surface' in the unseen world. Buried in
the soil is a complex root system, forever
growing and developing in relationship with
its surroundings. Similarly, each human life
has an outer and an inner aspect, and the two
are inextricably linked in ways which we are
mostly unaware of.
Once a plant grows beyond a certain stage,
the leaves begin to lose their shine and even
start shriveling up and dying. The plant
doesn't respond to more watering or a change
of position - these external changes are not
what is needed. The problem is simple - the
container that has been supporting the inner
growth beneath the soil is no longer big
enough. Re-potting the plant in a bigger
container is all that is required to bring it
back to life and allow it to continue to grow
and develop.
We humans also need to be re-potted
periodically, whenever we outgrow our
existing containers. These containers can
take various forms, and it is necessary to
identify which area or areas of life have
been outgrown. It could be a job or career
path that no longer serves your growth. It
might be a living situation, relationship or
circle of friends that was growth-promoting
at one stage in your life, but has now become
limiting in some way. Sometimes it is the
self-image you have identified with that has
lost its usefulness and is ready to be
replaced with a more expansive version.
How do we know when the time is ripe for
re-potting? The symptoms are many and varied,
but there are some common themes to look out
for. One would be a dwindling of energy and
enthusiasm for something that used to be
inspiring and energizing - a kind of
stagnation or depression is setting in.
Another might be a growing sense of some
unfulfilled potential, a missed opportunity,
a goal or dream that has yet to be realized
or a feeling that life is passing you by in
some way. Or you might notice it as a feeling
of restriction or loss of freedom - you begin
to feel boxed in by life and the urge to
spread your wings and break free becomes ever
stronger.
I don't know how it is for houseplants, but
re-potting for humans is often a difficult
process due to our tendency to cling to the
familiar and to fear the consequences of
change. That fear can be paralyzing if we
don't work through it, but it's good to
recognize it as one of the signals of
imminent change, rather than use it as an
excuse to avoid the inevitable. It seems to
me that when we do follow our instincts and
take the leap from an existing container to a
new one that is a better fit, we experience a
flourishing and a renewal of our life-force
in some area where it was beginning to dry
up, just as the plant does.
The wonderful thing about a human life is
that we experience not just one growth
process - the biological one that we share
with every living thing - but several. Just
as our biological growth is slowing down, our
psychological, emotional and spiritual growth
is only just getting started, and will
continue relentlessly throughout our entire
life. The challenge is to pay attention to
your own root-system, to notice when your
leaves are losing their shine, and to be
willing to re-pot yourself into a suitable
container before the branches of your life
begin to wilt and break off.
