One of the recurring themes that I see in my
consulting work is the inner battle that is
being waged against any hint of
self-weakness. We are so conditioned to
consider strength a virtue and weakness a sin
that we rarely stop to consider the price we
pay for this one-sidedness.
In our modern success-and-achievement driven
society, there is no room to be weak, or
helpless, dependent or inadequate. Confusion
is never given preference over clarity, and
vulnerability must be covered up with
pseudo-strength at all costs.
If I ask a chronically-busy person what
happens when they stop, there is usually a
moment of panic as the feeling-state which
the busy-ness has been covering up suddenly
pops to the surface. Hopelessness. Emptiness.
Loneliness. Helplessness. When the mask
slips, even just a little, we get a glimpse
of what we have been avoiding, and it is a
rare individual who likes what they see
rising up from their own depths.
And yet, those depths are the very ones we
must enter into if we are to find the peace
of mind, contentment and fulfilment that our
souls long for. The paradoxical nature of
self-healing demands that we cannot transcend
what we have not yet fully experienced and
embraced. It is only by surrendering to our
weakness that we are given access to our true
strength. In the heart of helplessness we
find all the support we could ever ask for.
This, I conclude, is the hidden treasure that
is frequently disguised as sickness, or
depression, or addiction, or breakdown, or
loss. For these are the very conditions that
break open our shell of 'strength', and force
us to experience the vulnerability that was
just behind it.
As healers, we can learn to respect the
workings of soul, and transform our role from
that of rescuer, whose primary function is to
make things 'better', to that of attendant,
in whose presence a real transformation
becomes possible. 'Getting back to normal' is
a poor substitute for moving closer to wholeness.
