I was having a bodywork session recently with
Helen, who is a structural integration
therapist. While she was working, she gave me
a brief yet fascinating explanation of what
she was doing. "What happens," she said, 'is
that we create confusion in your muscles.
Then, there's a short period of time during
which we can give your body some new choices,
before the old patterns have had time to
re-establish themselves."
"That's funny," I said. "My work is virtually
identical to yours. Except the confusion I
create is mostly in the mind."
I mention this, because confusion is one of
those states of mind that most of us try our
best to avoid. We tend to associate confusion
with uncertainty and the unknown, both of
which usually elicit a degree of fear. So in
order to avoid feeling confusion, and the
anxiety that comes with it, we have a deeply
ingrained habitual tendency to cling to the
familiar. Left to our own devices, we're
liable to stay with what we know, even if its
killing us.
And yet we have all had many experiences of
moving through confusion and coming out the
other side again. Its a necessary part of any
transition process, a bit like going through
one of those long tunnels that takes a route
straight through the foot of a mountain. From
the light of consciousness (the known), you
are plunged into the darkness of the
unconscious realm and, after a period of
time, you emerge into the light once again.
Only this time, you're on the other side of
the mountain. Its the same light as before,
but you're seeing it from a different
perspective.
What I've found is that when we go
voluntarily into confusion, we get
through to the other side much more quickly
than when we try and avoid it. Just being
willing to sit with confusion for a while, to
allow it, and even to welcome it, seems to
have the effect of dissolving any resistance
we might be feeling. We can make friends with
uncertainty too, and any of the so-called
negative emotions.
In a magazine interview, the actress Meryll
Streep revealed that she prefers not to
prepare too much for a new role, because she
has found that she needs that edge of anxiety
to bring out the best in her. This is someone
who has learned to see the value in
uncertainty, and to harness it to her advantage.
I, too, have found that I generally do my
best work when I am right on the edge of not
knowing what I'm doing. Plunging into the
unknown on a regular basis is the best way I
know of to develop greater trust in life. And
every time we say 'yes' to confusion, a
little bit more clarity becomes available to
us. Its a fabulous mystery!
