As promised, this month I want to explore the
relationship between emotions and unconscious
beliefs. It's a crucial area that is often
overlooked in 'positive thinking' circles, and is
the most common stumbling block that we run into
when we embark on a journey of personal growth. It
also happens to be my chief area of interest at present.
By their very nature, almost all of our beliefs are
unconscious. That is, we don't know that we hold
certain beliefs until someone challenges them. This
is commonly known as 'having our buttons pushed'!
When someone pushes a button for us, we know about
it because it triggers an emotional response - we
feel angry or upset, for example. We might start
justifying our position or defending ourself.
Now its perfectly reasonable that if someone were to
accuse you of being horrible or stupid or some other
thing that is patently untrue, you might get upset
or angry
with them, and feel fully justified in doing so. But
consider this. What if
someone were to tell you that you are a wonderful
human being? That you are valuable and special? Or
lovable perhaps? Or that you deserve to be happy?
Or healthy? Or wealthy? How might you respond to
those kind of accusations? And how would you be
feeling inside?
This is where an understanding of the interface
between feeling states and beliefs can be extremely
helpful, because the body will consistently (and
relentlessly) reveal - through feelings - what you
believe to be true about yourself at any given
moment. When
your 'inner reality' gets contradicted, you will
automatically
feel uncomfortable. And none of us like to feel
uncomfortable. Regardless of whether the beliefs
you hold about yourself are life-affirming or
self-defeating, you'll most likely fight to defend
them all the same!
It seems somewhat ludicrous when you examine it, and
it is. Who in their right mind would choose a
version of reality that limits their freedom and
keeps them stuck, or unhappy? The answer, it seems,
is almost all of us. Except that we haven't really
chosen
those beliefs. To a large extent, they were chosen
for us, and we simply went along with them because we
didn't know any different. And the main reason we
are clinging to them now is that we don't want to
feel uncomfortable.
I've been interested in the field of personal
transformation for many years, and since I came to
recognize the role of feeling states in relation to
unconscious beliefs I feel that I've found a crucial
piece of the puzzle that was previously missing. You
can tell yourself something that you'd like to
believe as often as you like, but unless and until
your body comes into agreement with what you're
telling yourself, its not going to make any lasting
difference to your life.
Our task as adults, as Carl Jung was at pains to
point out, is to make the unconscious conscious. In
so doing, we can catch
a glimpse of what is driving us at an unconscious
level, and set ourselves free little by little. But
in order to free ourselves, it is also necessary to let
ourselves feel those old, uncomfortable feelings,
and to let them go. It's no big deal. And it makes
all the difference.
