Help for Hispanics
PFLAG starting bilingual group, Families of the RainbowBy Glenn Gullickson
The Phoenix Chapter of Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays is about to launch a bilingual group for the Hispanic population.
The group, called Families of the Rainbow (Familias del arco Iris), will have its first meeting at 7 p.m. March 3 at the First Congregational United Church of Christ, 1407 N. Second St., Phoenix.
The meetings will be held the first Wednesday of the month, according to Mary Rosales, who will act as facilitator of the group along with her husband, Sal.
Mike Crum, a past PFLAG chapter president, said the organization has been attempting to start the Hispanic group for five years, but couldn't find anyone to lead it until recently.
Crum and Rosales said the need for the Hispanic group was illustrated by a 1n10 conference they attended last year, where there were numerous Hispanic youths.
Crum said he was "shocked to learn that 40 percent of 1n10's youths are Hispanic. Those families have had no support."
He said that there's been a trend of forming Hispanic-focused PFLAG groups, with about a dozen organized around the country. "We have such a large (Hispanic) population here," Crum said. "It's long overdue."
Rosales noted that since other PFLAG group meetings are conducted in English, Spanish speakers could feel shut out.
Hispanic gays can have special problems with their families because of the machismo in Latin culture, Rosales said. But she said perhaps things are changing. "I'm so proud of Mexico City," where same-sex marriage was recently approved.
Rosales and her husband lost their son Richie to AIDS five years ago, an event that set her in search of grief counseling tailored to parents of gay children.
She said she still remembers the shock of Richie's coming out. She recalled thinking "his life is going to be so hard...It's such a shock for anyone when your child tells you they are gay."
But soon the family accepted Richie's gay friends, including those who didn't have support from their own families. "Every single one of them was a wonderful young person," she said. Rosales said she was happy that her husband made himself available to Richie's friends.
Richie, the youngest of the Rosales' three children, worked as a maitre d' at the Coronado Café before moving to Portland with his partner. He died shortly after the move at age 40.
"It was really difficult for me," Rosales said of Richie's death. "It just brought me to my knees. He was my soul mate. Richie and I could laugh and talk for hours."
Rosales, a former elementary school principal who lives in Chandler, said she attends PFLAG meetings in Tempe, where ASU students often share their stories of not being accepted by their families. "I sit there and feel their pain," she said.
She got involved in helping to organize the Hispanic group after attending last fall's OUTdayPHX at the Phoenix Zoo.
She said she expects that the new group will start small, with maybe a handful of people attending the first meetings. But "my dream is hundreds" will become involved, she said. "I have a feeling that they're out there."
PFLAG meetings usually last about 90 minutes, Rosales said. Meetings are open to anyone - parents as well as gay children. Anyone who wants to is permitted to speak.
Rosales said PFLAG is non-judgmental and does not offer professional advice, but can provide resources. "We're here to listen, to support you, to help you," she said.
"If I help just one parent, I will be 100 percent happy," Rosales said. "I really want to be someone who I hope can nurture a parent ... hold their hand, let them know they're not alone."
Besides Mike Crum and Sal and Mary Rosales, the board coordinating the Families of the Rainbow group includes Ernesto Ortiz, Arnaldo Maldonado, the Rev. Liana Rowe and the Rev. Jose Olagues.
For more information, call 602-843-1404 or visit
www.pflagphoenix.org/familias.
