As you travel through your grief journey you will find that in addition to other feelings and emotions, fear and anxiety may be a constant part of your grieving experience. Even the simple things in life can be frightening. Your belief system can be challenged. Simply eating and sleeping can be different and you can feel vulnerable, and wonder how everything can change in a brief period of time.

It is not uncommon to experience a fear of the future. You may have one or more of these thoughts:  

• "Am I going to be OK, will I survive?"
• "Will our family be able to cope?"
• "Will my life ever be normal again?"
• "Am I grieving too little or too much?"
• "What if other family members die?"
• "Will I have this anger and anxiety for the rest of my life?"

As in any of the other emotion you are experiencing, fear may play a small role in your grief journey or it may become a large part of it. Face fear, recognize it, and identify what you are fearful of -- then express it by talking about it to your support person. This should be someone you can trust, who is a good listener and is not judgmental. Journaling may be helpful. List the things that are bothering you and why. Try to take action on the fears you can control and identify the fears out of your control. To cope with fears you can't control, consider turning to your faith; doing breathing exercises; or consulting the resources that have helped you in the past. Don't be embarrassed or avoid these emotions.

If you have a fear of being alone, keep a routine and try to reduce your stress. Keeping as organized as possible can be helpful. This includes establishing a flexible schedule with a consistent bed and wakeup time. Something as simple as showering or bathing the same time of day and planning what you will wear, can create much-needed structure when life seems out of control. Other important stress-reducing habits include:   

• Keeping your car, home, and office keys in the same place so you don't stress out if you can't find them
• Making a separate set of keys for emergencies
• Ladies, keep your purse in the same place at home or at work
• Gentlemen, keep your wallet, money clip, etc. in the same place
• Have the police or sheriff's office give your home a security check; then fix whatever they have recommended.
• Lock your doors and secure your home the same way each day. This may include turning on the lights that you want to leave on, and pulling the shades down. Make sure you start at the same place every night so that you don't doubt yourself, and wonder --  "did I lock the back door?" Otherwise, you may find yourself getting out of bed again and again just to check yourself.
• Do the same thing when you leave the house -- put whatever you have to take with you (mail, list, dry cleaning, etc.) near the door so you can pick it up and take it with you when you lock the door.

If you have financial fear, don't make any big decisions for at least a year. This includes making financial changes such as selling your home, moving or down sizing your home, or changing your job unless it is monetarily necessary. You may also want to consider:

• Creating a file and calendar for "bills to be paid". Keeping your checkbook in the same place (desk, drawer, file or purse) and file your financial papers, deeds, insurance, will, and other important papers as soon as possible; this will enable you to be more organized.
• Making a list of what needs to be done with paperwork, such as filing for VA benefits, Social Security, pensions, and insurance.
• As soon as you feel up to it, contact an attorney to organize those important personal papers: a new will (if necessary), durable POA, Living Will, Health Care Surrogate, and check the named beneficiary on insurance policies including life, auto, and home policies to make sure the person you want as beneficiary is on those papers.

You may also find it helpful to:

• Start making a list of all the things you need or want to accomplish such as thank you notes; paper work for benefits; taking care of personal affects and any other responsibilities. Let the first list be a master list, then make smaller daily lists that you need to do that week or that day.
• Don't try to do everything at once. It can be too overwhelming and you might find yourself going in circles and feeling hopeless.
• Go slow. Be patient and honest with yourself. Do not let all of these responsibilities and emotions control your life. You need to reclaim your sense of security.

All of these suggestions empower you to cope with the feelings and emotions that are a part of your grief journey while reducing a great deal of stress and physical danger. There is only one person who can take care of you better than anyone and that's you.

Good news for senior adults- have you read the Senior Voice America newspaper.  It's full of information to live an active mature lifestyle. You may find answers to your questions regarding financial planning, elder care, health care and much more to enhance your lives. You can visit the website, www.seniorvoiceamerica.com.

Pick up a free copy at your local businesses that you frequent or tune in to AM 1250 WHNZ Monday thru Friday from 1 to 2p.m.