Why does Curious George always land in trouble? Did curiosity really kill the cat? Did opening Pandora's box actually unleash a flood of woes into the world? And then, of course, there's Eve and that infamous incident with the apple. 
 
Despite all of these cautionary tales, there is at least one person in the world who believes that curiosity holds the key to happiness. In fact, he doesn't believe that happiness in and of itself can be pursued since it is ephemeral and elusive. I think of it as a bar of soap in a bubble bath - as soon as it seems to be within grasp, whoops! It's gone again. Todd Kashdan, Ph. D., wrote a whole book about this phenomenon:  Curious? Discover the Missing Ingredient to a Fulfilling Life.
 
I was immediately intrigued by the idea that it is the pursuit of novelty, adventure, learning and exploration that leads to satisfaction not only in our own hearts, but in our relationships. The nemesis of happiness, he purports, is not sadness but anxiety. A central premise of Kashdan's book is that anxiety is not something we can easily manipulate which is why we can so easily end up feeling stuck, unhappy or unfulfilled.
 
Think of the last time you were anxious. How well did telling yourself not to worry work for you? Especially at 4 am? If you managed your anxiety by engaging in an interesting activity, however, you may have found that your worry slipped away from you for a time. This is a simplistic example of the kinds of things he writes about, but it illustrates a central theme of his which is that the more we engage in learning and exploring, the less anxiety we will experience and the greater our perception of happiness will be.
 
You may know someone who you think of as being interested in everything.  Chances are, that person is engaging to be around and is someone you admire.  People who are constantly learning and seeking seem to radiate energy in an attractive way; we want to be near and around them, hoping some of it may rub off on us. And, it can! Surrounding ourselves with people who are both interesting and interested in the world does have a way of sparking our own desire to try new things and think from new perspectives.
 
I regularly take teens and adults out into the natural world for experiences ranging from a simple walk on a trail to rock climbing. There are always many people who know about the opportunity and a handful who actually take it. I tend to hear the same thing from teens that I hear from adults:  "I don't camp."  "I can't see myself doing that." "I don't think I could do that." "I've never done that before - uh uh!" This is a very normal response since we have strong tendencies toward what is comfortable and familiar, and to engage in activities that we have mastered in order to feel competent. 
 
However, we also have the urge to explore and peek behind closed doors. If we didn't, there would be no advances in the world of any kind, and we'd all still live with our parents in our childhood homes. The degree to which we heed the voice that tells us to try something new is what varies in each of us.  
 
For me, inertia is sometimes a problem. Just like when a tire is caught in a rut, it takes energy to push up and out of it onto a new path. Sometimes I feel most ambivalent just before a party or a trip, for example, even when I've been looking forward to it, oddly enough. But, I know from experience that I never regret going. I just have to get myself to open the door and walk through into whatever awaits.
 
When was the last time you followed Curious George's lead and looked somewhere you weren't supposed to, or bit into something forbidden, or opened a box to see what was in there? Regardless of the outcome, I'm guessing that you felt more alive, not less.
 
Go ahead - try something new, risk looking like you don't know what you're doing, take a chance that something that seems "not for me" is indeed, just right for you. As a group I'm a part of says, "Dare to be dorky!" Life is short, as we all know in our souls. Mark Twain captures the essence of curiosity better than anyone I know in the quote below:   
 
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." 
 
And if you want to read more, do check out Curious? Discover the Missing Ingredient to a Fulfilling Life by Todd Kashdan, Ph.D.
 
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Coaching Questions and Ideas:
 
1)  What new skill, hobby or experience have you been curious about lately, or used to be a long time ago?  Are you willing to set aside excuses and do it, even if you are afraid?
 
2)  Here is a challenge:  Look at your partner, spouse, best friend or a family member with new eyes.  Notice at least three novel things about their ideas, emotions, qualities or talents that you have not noticed before because that person is so familiar to you.
 
3)  Think of something that is currently causing anxiety in your life.  Shift your mind from trying to avoid worrying about it to actually entering into it more deeply through wonder and curiosity.  What is there to learn?  What questions can you explore?  What are others' experiences with the same issue?  Who in your life can offer a different perspective?  Where might you be stubbornly clinging to an outdated idea that isn't working for you?