The Wit and Wisdom Newsletter
The newsletter that puts the glide back in your slide
The  Real Coaching Co.
 
Regain your Power
No 68

Bless you for opening this email from me.
Welcome to new and old subscribers to my Wit and Wisdom newsletter - the martini for the mind, the smoothie for the soul and the cup of tea of life that you just like to dip your chocolate digestive of curiosity into now and again. 
It takes just 2 minutes of your time to read but its long-lasting effects may have lifetime results.

Greetings!
Have you ever had that strange realization that you have developed the super power to render people utterly unable to hear what you are saying?

You must have noticed that by some strange and spooky coincidence that some folk seem to go completely deaf around you.  Hello, is anybody there, you think, am I talking to myself?

You know the sort of thing, you ask them quite reasonably to do something for you or to NOT do something around you and it's like you don't exist.  What IS that?? 
 
Or maybe you have been gifted (or cursed?) by some passing super hero high on kryptonite who has made you and your needs completely invisible to others.  Ka-pow!- other people start railroading your views, lose the ability to ask your permission or take your needs on board.

You are the Invisible Woman/Man but without the added bonus of being able to rob banks or pull faces at the boss undetected.

Perhaps you feel like you're the only one who buys a drink at the bar, remembers birthdays or seems to be on hand as an unlicensed and unpaid taxi service.  Feeling powerless, ignored and downright fed up you've often wondered how "mug" or "dog's body" became your middle name.
dogsbody
Re-Gain Your Power
 
It doesn't have to be that way, you know?  You don't have to be over-looked, hurt, feel used and abused or taken for a ride again. 

You can raise your self esteem and confidence and even win the respect and support of others without losing friends or alienating people too.

Sound too good to be true?

Welcome to the world of Boundaries.  This is the imaginary line you draw around yourself which lets others know what they CANNOT do around you.   Imagine that - people respecting you more, honouring your needs and taking you and your feelings into consideration.

Buffing Up Your Boundary
 
First of all you need to think about when it is that you feel hurt, ridiculed, ignored or taken for granted, for example, and think when and with whom this occurs.  Is it with one person or a group of people?  Now you must define what it is you don't like about the situation.

Here's an example - the friend who always rings you for a 2 hour download on her latest loser lover when you are about to watch your favourite programme.  Or perhaps it's the relative who seems to relish your discomfort at family gatherings by making you the butt of jokes.

You know who there are.

Now you have to take action.  Take the person to one side and make a request of them.  It might go something like this:

"Thanks for phoning but now is not convenient but I will ring you tomorrow for a 20 minute chat"

Or

"I feel uncomfortable when you get everyone laughing at me.  Please stop. I don't want to be the butt of your jokes anymore"
 
Some things to bear in mind about Boundaries:
  • This isn't about aggressive confrontation but a real and reasonable request
  • You won't be the "bad guy" for stating your needs
  • People will still like you - in fact, ironically, they will like you more
  • You are respecting yourself and looking after yourself by having strong boundaries
  • You suffer when boundaries are weak. It "costs" you.
  • It helps other people grow when they know where they stand with you
  • You must mean it, believe in it and stick with it
  • You have nothing to lose but everything to gain in expressing your Boundaries
  • Imagine what life would be like if people honoured your Boundaries and showed you respect, kindness and consideration
  • You serve no one by playing small or the victim

playing small

Buff up your Boundaries and you will grow as a person and, unknowingly, other people will grow too as there know where they stand with you.  Their respect (sometime begrudging at the beginning) will grow as they realise they are around someone who has high standards and knows themselves.

Congratulations - now develop a fan club!

Why not book a 30 minute free telephone consultation with me now to make that big change in your life today? Email me caroleann@realcoachingco.com
Dates for Your Diary
Love doing business but hate networking?  Join us for a new way of connecting with key business people in style and with effortless ease. 

The Business Breakfast event held on 30th June 2010 at 8am-10am still has a few places left.
It's currently the talk of the town.

Click here for further details http://businessbreakfastjune.eventbrite.com/
 
My free monthly teleclasses are proving a real winner with my readers and clients.
The last one of summer will be on Monday 19th July 2010 at 7.30pm and the theme will be
The Powerful Art of Saying No - how to create healthy boundaries in your life

To book your place email me now at caroleann@realcoachingco.com

Other news
I am delighted to be on the board of experts at the Bring Back The British Lunch Hour campaign. For recipes, health and well being tips visit www.bbblh.co.uk
 
Ever wondered if testimonials are real?  Yes I'm a cynic too.  But check out my new client stories film on the home page (scroll down) of my website and you might be surprised www.realcoachingco.com. I was!

A huge thank you to the highly talented Louisa Walsh for the superb photos in today's newsletter.  See more of her unique and exciting work at www.artbylaw.co.uk

Walsh example
Quote of the Week
"The Universe if full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper"
Eden Phillpotts

Have fun
Your coach 

Carole Ann
 
 Follow me on Twitter
Contents
Re-Gain your power
Buffing up Boundaries
Dates for your Diary
Other news
Quote of the Month
Quick Links

Carole Ann

sitting on the fence in life can be painful

Carole Ann is an award winning journalist, media consultant and high profile coach, with over 6 years' coaching experience with private clients and major organisations such as the London School of Economics and Play England. 
 

Find Your Dream Job

Find Your Dream Job

 Buy Now from Amazon

Follow me on Twitter

 

Were you forwarded this newsletter?
To ensure you always get a copy....
 
 Join Our Mailing List