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Greetings!
Is it just me, but whenever anybody dares to ask "are you happy?" I feel a sudden flush of anxiety and defensiveness? It is a question few answer without rolling their eyes to their foreheads, chewing their lips and then searching the inquisitor's eyes as though it were a trick question.
Am I happy?
If I want to scare myself I simply ask myself that question - "Am I happy?" and then I turn my psychic searchlight inwards to look at the shadowy, doubtful corners and see what they might be saying.
If I'm not, then why not?? Is everyone happier than me?!!
In the current climate of credit downturn, where we are told we are teetering on the edge of an economic abyss; and dire warnings about our beloved planet and what we greedy, careless humans are doing to it, it's hard to plan for long term peace of mind and joy.
What must it have been like to have been my parents in the 1960s? They smoked, drunk with abandon, sunbathed on holiday from dawn to dusk, ate what they liked and traveled abroad to leave footprints in the sand and not carbon ones on the ozone layer.
Perhaps ignorance is bliss but what carefree days they must have been.
Maybe we know too much now and if it's not cholesterol and cellulite we're battling it's our conscience over buying a cheap battery chicken to feed our families or purchasing landfill clothing made by desperate "battery" children in far off lands. Our shame overshadowed by our needs.
Frankly I think we've had enough and have enough. My personal belief is that human beings weren't put here to be miserable and anxious. We are at our best when we are happy and positive, creative and in abundance. This is something to aspire to.
I recently visited a top media marketing company who revealed they are barred from selling stories to the press which have "credit crunch" or "Green" issues associated with them as people are literally switching off; radios, televisions and consciousness. Everybody is worried and all this fretting and chiding does nothing but add to our feelings of guilt, anxiety and futility.
Is he happy yet? | |
Your Investment Fun(d)
As a coach I am well aware that happiness comes in many forms and means something different to each of us. One person's stroll up Ben Nevis is another's kagoul fashion crime; one man's meat is another's poussin. You get the picture.
So as your coach may I request you ask yourself "Am I having fun yet?" and if you're not see me later!
From the sublime pleasure of smelling your own child's hair or having a Melting Mocha Moment in a sun-dappled café to discovering you've fast-tracked yourself into the boardroom; what lights your fire may take some unusual kindling.
I know because it occurred to me recently, during a session with my own coach, that I am a person who doesn't have fun easily. Unlike my husband who body dives onto the sofa and can a-tune to a near bliss state by just watching Match of the Day, I find fun about as easy to access as quantum physics in an afternoon.
I can't tell you how liberating it is then to finally "get" that I am a person who finds it difficult to have fun. So often I felt an outsider for not "getting" what other people thought of as a good time. My secret bliss was not the stuff of an adman's drawing board nor is it a costly foray into status and one-upmanship; that's not fun that's insecurity. | |
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Mode To Joy
We are fed the archetypes of good times and thrills via media images: bungee jumping into gaping ravines, dancing wild eyed on tables during MardiGras, speeding across the Francisco Bridge in a soft top, with the wind in your hair and Lenny Kravtiz on the sound system. Somebody else's dreams and desires. Not mine, are they yours?
Someone somewhere defined the catalogue of fun and the rest of us are supposed to buy into them.
But what if none of them speak to you? What if you don't know what makes you happy or how to access your own feel good factor? Book a 30 minute session (on me) and let me help you unlock your wellspring of well being. Don't wait. Email me caroleann@realcoachingco.com | |
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For those who have a deficit in their Investment Fun(d) here are some instant lifts that don't increase the waistline, cause cellulite or cost a penny.
- Think about a time when you were truly happy, fulfilled or excited. Fill your mind with the image and all that went with it. Keep that image with you throughout the day.
- Walk with your head up - look at the clouds, birds and tops of buildings. See how your mood and countenance changes.
- If you are feeling gloomy, remember even this will pass.
- Do as many acts of random kindness for family, friends and strangers as you can.
- Decide to make everyone you meet today laugh at something and observe how you make them feel.
- Get on the phone or email and tell your family and friends how much you appreciate them.
- Stop blaming others or yourself.
- Drop the guilt.
- Try the "What if ..?" exercise. Ie. "What if I decided not to worry for a month" or "What if I gave up complaining/being right/coffee/sulking/procrastinating for a week." You can always revert back when your deadline is up.
- Book that 30 minute session with me. I said it wouldn't cost anything!
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