My daughter was upset.  Her teacher assigned the "survival game" as a class activity.  Students were divided into groups of eight and given new identities.  One teen was now a mother, another teen was assigned to be her four-year-old son, another was a policeman, and so on.  Then they were told their cruise ship had sunk.  Each group had to survive on a lifeboat built for seven.  The group had 15 minutes to decide which one would have to leave and subsequently die.  In my daughter's group, most felt the mother should die because her four-year-old son would not remember her anyway.  My daughter had angrily explained, "I did not see my birth mother after I was a month old, but I still think of her every day.  The mother should not be kicked off the boat.  No one should be kicked off the boat."  Some of the classmates were surprised at my daughter's outburst because for them it was just a class activity.  For my daughter, it was a part of her life. 

 

One of the hardest parts of parenting a child who has joined your family by adoption is the least often discussed.  The roughest aspect of being a parent by adoption is walking beside your child during their times of loss and grief.

 

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