Recently I witnessed something unusual.  A few high school students were sitting in a circle with their teacher.  The teacher pointed to a student and asked everybody to say something nice about him.  Everybody was quiet. The going was slow initially.  People had a hard time articulating what they wanted to say and the person was getting embarrassed. But soon the atmosphere began to change.  There were raised hands, laughter as people recounted funny memories, and friendly leg pulling.  The atmosphere had started to lighten up and camaraderie was starting to build.

During our daily interactions, we witness positive as well as negative attributes of others. While we do not hesitate to provide negative feedback, we seldom make time to say something nice.

Imagine what would happen if every once in a while people got together with those who matter to them and said something nice to them.

There is a potential that the positive characteristics and attributes of a child would get reinforced and her self esteem would increase.  Perhaps, the dad would learn that the time spent on the floor roughhousing with the kids is what the kids appreciate most, and perhaps the mom would come to realize that not everything she does is unappreciated after all.  A boss may find out that her encouraging words did not go unnoticed and a subordinate may actually realize the impact of his hard work on the company.  A teacher may realize that the hours spent grading and providing feedback are actually beneficial to the student, and the student may come to know that it is his tenacity and determination that are more important to the teacher than his grades.

Next time you catch yourself saying or thinking something negative about somebody, make sure to finish the conversation on a positive note, highlighting a particular characteristic that you appreciate about him.

The positive effect that it will have on both of you will be amazing.

Yours,