Such is Halloween. Something that we as kids never did much about apart from dunking a few ropey windfall apples, carving out a turnip lantern and putting on a sheet to go and terrorise the neighbours playing knock and nash (definitely didn't get any sweeties for that!).

But Halloween is everywhere now, and how! And it is not just for the kids. Like others I know,  I do enjoy my best excuse to get into fancy dress and act all scary. The kids love it - although they say my cackle needs some work. And my warts too.

Getting all Halloweeny in another country can be tricky. You'll get strange looks from your neighbours. People will look at you oddly as you drive by in your witches outfit. Your children can't just knock on any old door and say "Trick or treat". We've probably mostly forgotton the long tradition behind the party, so might find it hard to explain exactly why we do as we do. Especially in another language. Although, I've noticed more and more pumpkin decorations in the local shops, so perhaps Halloween is going global!

As we transport our traditions around the world, let's not forget to find out the significance of these few days in our host country. Around the world there are a myriad of fascinating ways of marking the 1st or 2nd November. Here in France, Toussaint (All Saints Day) merits a public holiday, and there is a Catholic tradition of gathering the family to honour departed family members. It doesn't sound quite as much fun, and there's no fancy dress involved - but it's another good way of strengthening family roots and connection.

I hope you enjoy this seasonal issue of Roots and Wings - some of the themed links may be a little tenuous, but it is a little difficult to think straight with this wart on the end of my nose!!!

Kirstin

PS:

 

What spooks you out? For some it might be riding a roller coaster, for others, making a speech in public. For others it could be getting a haircut, and for others, a giant hairy spider. We're all different in this respect.

Most of the time we can happily avoid the things we fear. And some of the time, this doesn't really have a great impact on our everyday lives. So that's fine! End of story.

Except when it is not fine. Sometimes, we are scared of something that is very much in our everyday life. These are the things that cause us constant worry and workarounds. These everyday things are all around us, and most of us take them for granted. Think about driving in a city, talking on the phone, going to the doctors, tackling a problem.

Then you can have a nightmare scenario. Coming up against one of your fears on a daily basis can deplete your energy and resources and, more importantly, your ability to get things into proportion and to find a way forward.

Your children too have their own personal fears, and they can be equally clever at hiding them from us at times with their elaborate workarounds.

What can we do to tackle our fears? Well, from the work I've done with individuals and groups, here are some ideas which have worked:

1. Face up to it - recognise what the situation is that you are afraid of. Acknowledge it, dissect it into its parts, and admit it. "I'm afraid of . . ". 

2. Get underneath it - what part of this situation scares you? What are you really afraid of?

3. Imagine life without this fear. What could everyday life be like? What could you do differently? How much easier would things be?

4. Make a plan to reduce the fear. Make it practical, in small, only slightly stretching steps.Think about who and what could help each step. Use your imagination about how different things could be to motivate you to come up with a creative plan.

5. Take a small step forward. If it means a move out of your comfort zone, get ready for it. You don't have to conquer your fear all at once, but you can inch your way towards it. Sometimes, just taking that first step can help us overcome long-term inertia. But the most important thing is to take that step. That small action can make all the difference.

You'll be doing all this, pretty much automatically, I'm sure, to help your own children overcome their fears. We would never encourage our children to avoid things they are afraid of all their lives - so why should we?

If you need help with overcoming scary stuff - give me a call, and let's explore how Coaching can help.

0033 389 07 37 02 / 0033 770 820 875

 

 
I'd like to thank everyone who has helped get the word out about my Open House, it is so supportive of you, and means a great deal to me. It isn't always easy to keep going in a business on your own - being a working mum means I can't and don't want to put all my time into it, and being on my own means I don't always have people to bounce ideas off, like you do in an office. But it is always interesting (and sometimes fun too!!), and I do appreciate all the support I get.

I've been working as a Coach for nearly 5 years now, and have learnt so much in that time, mainly from my clients and workshop groups - I'm so looking forward to sharing my different ideas and programmes with you!

I know that the timing of my Open House means that working Mums probably can't come, and I'm sorry about that. I would love to find new ways of connecting with working Mums outside of my e-programmes, and telephone coaching. I'd love to come into the workplace and do short, focused and fun sessions in groups - do please let me know if you think this could work where you work? Also considering how to deliver some of the material so it is easily accessible. Please let me know if you have ideas on this!

The cauldron beckons, and I must fly,

All the best - have a fun night!

Kirstin