| Help! I feel Homesick!
Homesickness is not just the domain of students leaving home for the first time, or younger children on summer camp, it is commonly experienced by adults too. As we move to different countries, even cities, we can experience this strong set of emotions associated with a loss of a familiar, supportive, safe environment and the things/people/places we are attached and connected to.
We can also feel homesick much later on in our move, for example, when we feel we are missing out on something "back home", or when we lose a close friend to a relocation or worse, or when something significant happens. Or something really "small" might seem to set it off, that hits us just at the wrong time.
We may sometimes be shocked by the strength and power of these emotions, and the impact they have on our behaviour. For example, we can lose energy and focus, we can retreat inside a much smaller comfort zone, we can lose confidence, we can feel frustrated when others around us seem to be having fun, and we can feel anxious and depressed.
Even though we know intellectually and from our own experience that these feelings tend to pass over time as we get more familiar and connected with our new environment, the impacts can sometimes prevent us from doing the things we can do to help feel more at home more quickly. So we need to be patient and understanding with ourselves first and foremost, and take baby steps, perhaps using some of the ideas below to move forward into a situation where we feel more at home and comfortable.
1. Acknowledge your feelings to yourself, then, ideally someone else too
Accepting that this is the way we feel right now is a good start, and sometimes speaking this out loud to someone else can make a real difference to the way we feel in any case. When we use our energy in fighting or denying our feelings, we miss out on the opportunity to explore them and find a way forward.
We don't even have to talk to share our feelings. Writing them down, emailing, joining in on a web-forum, all these can help us start to express what we are going through.
2. Explore what is missing for you
As we make a new life for ourselves in a different place, we know we cannot recreate the same environment and situation as we had elsewhere, nor our "home" environment, whatever that is for us. However, we have certain needs to be met, such as feeling understood, feeling welcome, feeling "at home", feeling supported, having fun, expressing ourselves, and so on. We may have certain routines that nourish us, or foods, or sights/sounds/smells, and much more.
Getting more specific about what we are missing most in our current environment may be able to help us find a way through our homesickness. Ask yourself, what would make your new environment more like home for you. This might include your house, how you spend your time and who with, how you connect with those around you, what you look forward to. And so on. Tackle a little at a time.
We may want to plan trips to see special people and special places - and to give us something to look forward to. Or we may want to plan trips in our new environment, to explore and find new favorite places.
3. Strengthen connections
Not all your connections and support need to come from one place. Maintain your close connections with people who support, encourage and understand you, wherever they are. However, put some energy into finding and giving support locally. This might mean expanding your normal social network, and getting involved in new activities or groups to put in place the social support that you need. It won't necessarily happen all at once - and I often talk to people who don't enjoy the "small talk" which is usually involved! However, it is worth persevering - lifelong friends can, and do emerge from underneath the early "isn't it lovely weather for this time of year" discussions.
4. Build nourishing and nurturing routines
As mums, we often work hard to build and maintain routines for our children, but sometimes neglect our own nuturing routines. What are the things that keep you feeling sane, relaxed and awake? Can you build these into regular routines that make them easier to do and to fit into your life?
5. Look for opportunities to do the things you enjoy to do - interests, hobbies, etc. A little at a time if energy levels low.
Whether you do these on your own, or, better, with other people, it can feel good to do something you enjoy and which puts a smile on your face. It might be a temporary distraction from your feelings of homesickness, or it might be the start of building up some more positive feelings about your current home location.
I hope some of these ideas help if homesickness is something that affects you from time to time. Remember it is OK to ask for help if you feel it is lasting for too long, or having a major impact on your life. | 
Dear all