The Lost Art of Daydreaming

Those of you who know me well probably won't be surprised to find out that I'm a firm believer in a spot of daydreaming.

Whereas the dreams we have at nighttime are from our unconscious, and often find us flying naked in public, our day dreams are led by us as we use our imagination to shape a pleasant place for us to while away a few moments. Or more, if you're anything like me.

Daydreaming is a way of spreading our wings out further than our everyday lives, and exploring different possibilities.

But do we let ourselves dream often enough, or do we find ourselves pulling back into current reality to get on with being productive in our everyday lives?

When we were children, we were probably told to stop daydreaming as it was a waste of time. Is it really?

Instead of curtailing your child's dreaming, why not connect with your children through their daydreams. Find out what infinite possibilities they are imagining too!

Ask yourself - is their head really on the moon - or are they actually reaching for the stars?!

What am I dreaming of right now?

As a child, I used to dream of becoming a fox when I grew up.

But right now, I'm dreaming of reaching more Mums who'd like to read Roots and Wings. Please forward this to your friends, wherever they may be! If they like it, they can sign up themselves - but if they don't see it, how can they possibly know!

 later in life!

Children and Daydreams

We probably see daydreaming as a problem when we catch our children staring into space when it is homework time - but then, we celebrate our child's superior imagination when they turn in an A+ story, and when they can survive happily without television for a few hours! We can't have it both ways, I'm afraid. As with everything, there is a balance to be struck between up time and down time, between real life and imagination.

I love to find out what children are daydreaming about - it reminds me of the countless hours I'd spend exploring the various worlds in my imagination as a child. Children have daydreams which are fun, wild, intense, truly no-holds-barred imaginative! As adults, there are so many things we've stopped dreaming about,  just when we could have the resources, skills and potential to do them.

Just like adults, children use daydreams to escape problems and boredom, to solve problems, process what is happening in life,  and to explore possibilities. They, like us, use them to imagine their future. Daydreams are mainly private places, but if you're ever invited into this world - accept with great pleasure and see where it takes you.

How much time do you spend daydreaming? And what do you say to your kids when you find them staring into space thinking about anything but their homework?

Daydreaming gets a bad press when it comes to productivity and the high energy GO GO GO of everyday life. However, I am a firm believer in its power for adults and children - a source of inspiration, relaxation, creativity, problem solving and motivation to move towards our goals  and even our vision of a new life for ourselves.

Tips for Top Daydreaming 

Got a problem to solve? A little relaxed daydreaming could help you work it out! Allow yourself to sink into an indulgent world where you are overcoming that problem in magnificent style. Imagine the different ways this triumphant you might have tackled the problem. Let your mind wander around the problem - not worry about it. In a more relaxed state, we can tap into our natural creativity.

Notice what fantasies you're drawn to! We often escape into a fantasty world, which can be a wonderful way of avoiding experiencing everyday life when things are getting tricky. However, paying attention to the things we daydream about can give us clues as to what we may be wanting more of in our lives. We don't have to translate these exactly - like our nighttime dreams, much may be symbolic - but watch out for recurring themes and ask yourself, what are these trying to tell you?

Enjoy the positive state. When you're dreaming, you don't think about what isn't possible, or what wouldn't feel great. You dream about something good, that you would enjoy experiencing. So you're already getting a rest from everyday life, already switching off a little and creating a positive space in your head. See if you can't bring some of this energy back into your real life.

Build your vision. When we are changing our lives, we often create an inspiring vision - an imaginary movie or picture - in our heads of what we'd like it to be like. We can use this vision to motivate us as we take actions towards achieving it. By imagining the future us and the situation we're in, we are helping ourselves to start to believe it is possible, and keeping ourselves focused on it.

Imagine some top athletes just before a race. They are using highly focused daydreaming to visualise their race. You can be sure they are not imagining falling at the first hurdle, but are picturing themselves victoriously crossing the finishing line. These athletes are using the power of daydreams to help them perform at their best. You can use the same techniques before you do the equivalent of your "100 metres" (a presentation, holding a party, tackling a difficult situation, going for a job interview).

Daydreams can be so much more powerful than purely "wishful thinking". However, watch out - not all daydreaming is good for you.

The Downside of Daydreaming

Daydreaming can be dangerous! Be careful when you choose to let your mind wander - and when you need to keep your mind fully on task. Driving is a classic time when we allow ourselves to float off into dream world, but of course also a time when we need all the concentration we can get!

Of course, overdoing our daydreaming can simply get in the way of us getting on with our everyday lives. It can feel more attractive to escape into our fantasy worlds, and not in a way that can be useful to us. It can also be an important sign to us of a deeper boredom or frustration - and it is perhaps those underlying issues we need to tackle.

Some daydreams can make us feel more anxious about life. Sometimes, and particularly if we are prone to worry, our daydreams can become more akin to disaster scenarios, like creating our own daymare. Ask yourself - is this daydream putting you in a more resourceful state for what's really happening in your life? If not, how about "redirecting" your daydream, taking on the role of the heroine who can handle it, no matter what.

So, if you'd been feeling guilty about your daydreaming habits, or worried about your child's imaginary friends, I hope this has shown you that there is a positive side of daydreaming. I hope too to perhaps have inspired you to spread your daydreaming wings, and let your imagination take over from time to time.