The very mention of the word chocolate sends tingles throughout the body for most of us, and conjures up mouthwatering images of delicious bonbons of all shapes, sizes, and fillings for almost all of us.

Go ahead, admit it. Chocolate is not just a favorite guilty pleasure; it is more or less an entire way of life!! I know it was for me.

I was a chocolate addict of the worst kind. I had been for years, up until 1996 when I was diagnosed with breast cancer and given six months to a year to live. I was actually a multiple substance abuser. Chocolate, coffee, salt, sugar, alcohol, and worse.  

When I wisely decided to change my diet and lifestyle to a healthier version (that same year), I found it fairly easy to wean myself off of all of my vices, except for chocolate. I was not willing to give up the chocolate. I mean, I thought I was. I tried to in fact, but inevitably I kept finding myself in the candy bar aisle of the closest minute market I could find, uncontrollably wolfing down cheap candy bars, something I had never done previously.

I had always prided myself on being a chocolate connoisseur, so sneaking around in the candy aisle of a pedestrian store like a crazed drug addict was somehow not reflecting the healthier me I was striving to achieve!

I began to realize what a powerfully addictive drug a substance like chocolate is when I tried to stop "using" it.

So in an attempt to make my chocolate habit "healthier", I decided to go to the health food store and stock up on organic chocolate. I reasoned that the "good" brands would be superior quality chocolate, and was able to find some nice selections that were dairy free. Sugar free was a bit more of a challenge, but I did find one brand that was dairy free and sugar free, sweetened with brown rice syrup instead of sugar. That worked for me. I continued to indulge daily.

The only problem was, I had several persistent immune system related health issues, cancer not withstanding. And try as I did to improve my diet, spruce up my lifestyle habits, and otherwise eliminate every possibly detrimental substance from my life, the various health issues persisted. And they were quite debilitating. Reoccurring shingles was one of the worst problems, along with insomnia, nightmares, headaches, and more. I would make great strides in both my diet and lifestyle, eliminating, always eliminating, except for the chocolate. As time went on, I would even manage to not eat chocolate for several days, even weeks at a time. But every time I relapsed it became more and more obvious, even to me, that rationalize it as I may, the chocolate was the culprit. After all, I had given up everything else, so it was clear: I had an immediate reaction to chocolate every time I ate it. I would literally have a shingles outbreak within hours of ingesting chocolate, followed by disturbed sleep and vivid nightmares.

So how did this unbearably painful addiction finally end?? The cancer was over. My diet and lifestyle had evolved to practical perfection. But the chocolate addiction still lingered. I had it bad!!

At one point, probably around 2001, (yes, it took me that long!), after having gone for weeks without chocolate, I relapsed. It was the day before I was to accompany my parents to the funeral of a close family friend. I awoke the next day with the typical and familiar chocolate hangover, and a bad case of the shingles. And there was no way that I could get out of the funeral. I had to go. My aging, beloved, and very debilitated father was depending on me. I pulled myself together as best I could, telling myself it would be quick. I would go to the funeral, schmooze quickly afterwards, and then go home and get in bed and recover. All because of the chocolate!! But during the funeral my father collapsed. He stopped breathing, turned a terrifying gray / blue color, and was rushed to the hospital via ambulance. My mother, Jaime, and I followed the ambulance, and spent hours and hours in the emergency room. The stress and angst were unthinkable. When my father was finally admitted to a room, and settled in and stable enough to leave, it was 3:00 AM. I had left my home at noon that day, a full 15 hours earlier. So much for a quick funeral and uneventful day.

As I crawled down the hallway of the hospital and out to my car, my body was screaming with pain. I felt handicapped. I felt disabled. I was disabled. I could barely get into my car due to the tightness in my back from the shingles, and I got mad at myself for repeatedly putting my body through so much, simply because I could not give up chocolate. It had to stop. I could not go on like this. I vowed never to eat chocolate again.

I got rid of all of my "organic" chocolate. Every last drop of it. I had to.

But not so fast. A few nights later, as I was going through major withdrawals, I started tearing the kitchen apart looking for even the tiniest morsel of chocolate. I couldn't find anything except for an old carton of vanilla swiss almond rice dream ice cream that I had somehow missed. I grabbed it, and swore that I would not eat the chocolate covered almonds, only the vanilla rice dream. But you guessed it; I could not stop myself, and found myself eating the chocolate covered almonds as well. It was not a good feeling. My fear of the physical repercussions I knew I would suffer, were coupled with the guilt I felt for harming my body, the very body that was trying so hard to heal, and that had stood by me thus far, triumphing over cancer with me. I was feeling pretty low, and in an attempt to distract myself began reading the ingredients label on the carton of rice dream ice cream, a hobby I had picked up years earlier when first changing my diet. As I read the ingredients, tears of joy and relief welled up inside of me, for, lo and behold, and by some miracle in fact, there was no chocolate in those almonds at all. They were covered in carob!! I couldn't believe it was true. I re-read the ingredients label several times, and could not find the word chocolate anywhere. I was filled with gratitude for the rice dream ice cream company for being so conscious and aware, that they knew to use carob instead of chocolate in order to make their sugar and dairy free much healthier version, and pretty darn good substitute for ice cream, chocolate free as well. Hope sprung eternal. I had discovered carob. And it was good enough to fool even me, the hard-core, long-standing, chocolate addict / connoisseur!!   

It was finally the end of chocolate for me. I was elated. It was a self-destructive love affair, and it had to end so that I could once and for all move on and fully reclaim my health.

I decided to bump my consciousness, and food  

intelligence and awareness up several notches by switching all of my chocolate-based recipes to carob.

All of my life I refused to even consider carob, always purporting it's inferiority to chocolate. I literally had a spiritual awakening that night in my kitchen eating the rice dream ice cream, reading the label, and discovering carob.

And guess what, carob is not nearly as addictive as chocolate. In fact, it is not addictive at all. And it is good. It looks like chocolate, it works like chocolate in recipes, it tastes like chocolate (with just a little imagination), and most importantly, it is not a drug.

Chocolate is high in a caffeine like substance called theobromine. Theobromine stimulates the central nervous system and is often compared to the drug amphetamine, aka "speed". When these caffeine like substances, or caffeine itself, are taken in excess, and they are addictive so are almost always taken in excess, any of several symptoms usually result, such as anxiety, nervous system disorders (think shingles / nerves), disturbed sleep patterns (think nightmares), various types of heart disease, stomach and intestinal maladies, diminished kidney function, even kidney failure,  

moodiness, and need I go on??

Chocolate is also high in oxalic acid, which blocks the absorption of calcium. It acts in a similar mechanism as nightshade vegetables, weakening the bones and causing inflammation and pain in the joints.

Chocolate is very bitter in it's natural state, so most chocolate products contain sugar, in large amounts. Sugar weakens the immune system, injures the pancreas, and promotes cancer cell growth among other things. A double whammy. And if dairy is involved, it becomes an inflammation provoking, mucus forming, artery clogging triple whammy!

Carob on the other hand does not contain theobromine or any other caffeine like substance. It is therefore not addictive. It does not contain oxalic acid, and is amazingly naturally sweet - not bitter at all, so requires very little sweetener, making it very easy to work with and pleasantly sweeten with small amounts of natural sweeteners such as brown rice syrup, barley malt, and / or maple syrup.

Now I am sure that some of you may be reading this and wondering about the good press chocolate receives almost daily. There are new and miraculous health benefits extolled upon chocolate constantly. But the detrimental effects mentioned above still remain, so the question is: Does the good outweigh the bad? I personally don't think it does. The antioxidants and flavonoids in chocolate can be obtained in many other foods, without the ill effects, and without the sugar and / or dairy!  And, it is true, some of you may be able to indulge in and tolerate a small amount of chocolate occasionally without the extreme effects I experience, especially those of you not prone to addiction. But for the rest of us, thankfully, there is carob!

This has been a long and important story, and one I have wanted to tell for quite some time (thanks for bearing with me). A bit emotional, even sad perhaps, but at least it is one with a happy, chocolate / addiction free ending! You can plug any of your own addictions into it. They don't have to be chocolate. You just need to work through them, as I did, with awareness, until you are through with them and can finally put them to rest and move on into freedom and health.

And if you are wondering why I choose to write about this this week, and curious to try a full on dose of carob for yourself, read on to the Weekly Menu section below where all will be revealed.

In Health To You As Always.

Gayle and Jaime / Wholly Macro