New Steps Life Coaching
Monica Leggett, CPCC
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Step Into Your Life!
Life coaching insights to guide, inspire and empower
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This month's issue: Turn bad habits into good- Part II
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November, 2009
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Greetings!
Welcome to STEP INTO YOUR LIFE! It is my way of sharing with you the personal experiences and information I gather on my journey of life. I believe that anything is possible as long as you believe in it, work for it, and stay focused on the goals to achieve it.
This month I am exploring habits- breaking old bad habits and starting good new habits. Are they a conscious decision we can make?
I'm doing a survey about habits and I'd love for you to participate. Please let me know if you'd like to. It should only take about 10 minutes by phone. Give me a call at 203-209-5462 or send me an email and I'll forward you the questions.
Feel free to share this newsletter with anyone, to email me with
comments or to write a little inspiring thought of your own. I'd be
happy to include it in future newsletters!
Enjoy,
Monica
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Perspectives/Mottos for Life:
I will make the time for my goals.
I will finish what I start.
One step at a time.
Slow and steady wins the race.
Be prepared, plan ahead.
Put MY needs on the calendar first.
Do the hard things first.
Begin with the end in mind.
I believe my goals are possible.
I believe I am worth the effort to make things happen in my life.
See more at: www.newstepslifecoaching.com
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Quote of the Month
Happiness is when
what you think,
what you say,
and what you do
are in harmony.
- Mahatma Gandhi
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This Week's Blog
De-triggering my triggered selves
We all have different selves within us that can get
triggered when we are faced with something challenging. How I
deal with that triggered self is the key to going past uncomfortable
moments or situations with "success" or staying stuck in my usual way
of doing and being. Go to my blog for the full story! www.newstepslifecoaching.blogspot.com
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Habits Part II
In my last newsletter I started the discussion of habits. In summary, three places to explore what is keeping you stuck in bad habits are: The Saboteur Voice, your lack of willingness to give up an old way, and Conflicting Values.
*Perhaps you took a few moments to write down the negative chatter that is keeping you in your old habits. Ex. "It won't hurt to do it this one time." Are you ready to tell yourself something new and empowering?
*Willingness is essential to breaking a habit. If you aren't willing to give up your old ways and embrace your goal of changing your habits, then change will not occur.
*Continuing with that bad habit can cause a lot of anxiety or unhappiness. Are there conflicting values that are keeping you in this battle? (Love sweets/ lose weight).
How can you make habits work FOR you instead of AGAINST you? What good habit you would like to develop; goal setting, time management, purging your mail, releasing all the extra "stuff" in your life? Pick ONE and work on it for the next few months with the following information to help you:
The definition of a (good) habit according to Stephen Covey in "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People," is "the intersection of knowledge, skill and desire." If I know what and how and why to do something and I want it enough, I will do it. We all have some bad habits we'd like to replace with good habits. Applying Covey's theory: if you take any one of these habits and only learn new strategies (knowledge and skill), chances are you will still be back to your old self in no time. If you somehow ignite the DESIRE necessary to do something new, you might get closer to success, but you will probably find that something is still getting in the way.
I believe there are at least seven additional strategies to getting you unstuck from a bad habit and on your way to a new one. The first five, which I cover in this newsletter are: Commitment, belief, a positive perspective, taking action, and an accountability partner. You need something really strong to break the momentum of the old habit and commit to the new, which is where your belief system comes in. The last two strategies are evaluation and a personal mission statement or master plan. This helps you decide what is important to you and creates a litmus test for any activity you might pursue. If something is part of your master plan and you have room for it in your day, then go for it. If it is a time waster or goes against your core values, keep it out of your life! I will cover more of this in Part III next week.
Commitment is a pledge to yourself or someone else that you will follow-through on a given obligation, task or behavior. With habits, we are truly talking about behavior. If you don't believe you can act a different way, then you won't. If your saboteurs are convincing you it is impossible, it is impossible. How do you find a belief system that allows you to make the commitment? It comes from working on your saboteurs and from a positive perspective.
Every issue has more than one way to look at it. A Positive Perspective can bring you to a new way of looking at things with fresh possibilities and new commitment. What new perspective could get you on your path to new habits? What way of thinking will banish your saboteur, and help you believe and commit to your goal?
[See perspective box in left column and go to my website for more information.]
*If you really want to be doing something and you say, "I don't have enough time," (the saboteur), what you are really saying is, "I don't believe I can make it a priority." If it is important enough, then making room in your schedule might look like doing it first or giving up something else. A better perspective would be, "I will make the time." This implies a belief that it will happen and firmly states it with commitment.
When you are committed to a new way of doing things you will be saying "no" to some old ways and "yes" to new behaviors, tasks and activities that make up your new habit. I invite you to make a list of what you will say "No" to and what you will say "Yes" to. Writing it down makes it happen!
Also important to breaking out of your old habits is taking action. Taking action in a positive direction is motivating. Brainstorm a list of actions you can do that are part of this new habit you wish to develop. What is one thing you can do today to start on your new habit? Do that one thing today and I guarantee you will feel motivated to doing more tomorrow!
Take a look at any new habit you would like to develop. Find a perspective that supports you and encourages you. Commit to learning the how-to's and acting on them. Make a list of what you will say yes to as part of your new habit and what you will say no to in order to give up your old ways. Then find an accountability partner who will support you in your new goal. Start each day with fresh intention to make it happen. Take Action! It will take months before it becomes a habit so you must be diligent and schedule the habit daily. (We've all heard 21 days to create a habit but it is more like 120 according to some experts.) If you slip one day, just pick yourself up and get back on the path of that fresh start. Don't give up! Reward yourself for each week you stick with it.
I have worked with many clients to develop new habits, new perspectives, and most importantly to identify the saboteurs that keep people stuck. I have also worked with my own coach on these things. A coach helps you build momentum toward the goals that will make your life more meaningful. As an accountability partner, I will help you to focus on your goals and help you explore what's going on if you are not following through on your commitments. I encourage you to give it a try. The first session is always a free way to try out coaching. What habits do you want to develop? Can you afford to wait another day?
Next issue: Personal Mission Statement and evaluating the journey.
Monica Leggett, CPCC
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Suggested reading:
Write it Down, Make it Happen
by Henriette Anne Klauser
The author explains how simply writing down your goals in life is the first step toward achieving them. Writing can even help you understand what you want.
Capture your thoughts, feelings, gratitude, to-do lists and so much more with many ideas of strategies and structures. Many true stories included.
Available in book stores and on line.
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| Thanks for reading and I hope you gained some new insights and tips. Please share your ideas and feedback with me. If there is a topic you would like to see covered on these pages please let me know!
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Sincerely,
Monica Leggett
New Steps Life Coaching
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Copyright (c) Monica F Leggett, All rights reserved.
Visit www.newstepslifecoaching for more info and tips.
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New Steps Life Coaching
Monica Leggett, CPCC
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