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"I can't do it!" Where did this message originate?
If you have self-created limits on what's possible to do in your life, welcome to the club! You're not alone and it's easy to see why this is the case. Of course, some of us received our limiting messages as kids from well-meaning adults in our lives and in some cases we had perceived failure experiences along the way which created a fear of trying again. But, if we look closely at our larger culture, we will see that narrowing focus and limiting experience is oftentimes praised. We are taught over time to choose something and stick with it. At the same time trying out a variety of different experiences, even if we're not "good" at them can sometimes be discouraged.
Athletics, art, and music are good examples. For all of these pursuits, there is a general perception that participating in them (as an adult) is best left to those with "talent". Due to what our culture tells us about these areas of interest, many people who might possibly experience great joy and satisfaction doing sports, art, or music never venture to try these things. I personally love to sing, but so many times have heard others say the words "I can't sing" which is not true because everyone with a voice can participate in this joyful activity. They won't try because they are afraid of not being "good".
Discovering one's own self-created limits can actually be liberating. When you find out, as I did, that your limit is not a true limit, but something built up in your mind over time - you realize there is so much more you can do! Here are a few thoughts for inspiration on breaking through limits and letting yourself be free.
- Challenge the tried and "true" story of who you are. If you've ever said to yourself, "I'm not the sort of person who_____", it may be time to take a second look at those thoughts. When we have our personality or abilities fixed in our minds, we close ourselves off to experiences we never knew were possible for us. We can learn to hold our image of ourselves very lightly to allow for more flexibility.
- Do you have a clear idea of the limits you give yourself? Many of them are old messages we have internalized over time. Write down as many of these thoughts about your limits as you can. Next try writing them again in cartoony script or using bold colorful pens. Spend some time looking these statements over in a new way and notice how these are just words on paper, not commands. You don't need to obey them.
- Is there something for work or leisure that you have always wanted to try out but have not yet conjured up the courage? A new field of study - a special trip - a unique activity. Who in your life can support you to take the first steps? What preparations do you need to make for venturing into new territory? Allow yourself to experience the excitement of discovery.
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